Problems with intimacy

Question

I have problems becoming sexual with someone because of the religion I was raised in . I’m always over analyzing if it’s too soon etc and even when I do and wait a substantial amount of time I feel guilty right after . What type of therapist should I seek ? It’s impacting my relationships negatively

Natalie Roesler · Answer

I had issues with this too because of the teachings of the church I grew up in.  Even after I got married sex felt “dirty” to me because I was taught it was “bad” before marriage.  It really affected me for about the first 10 years of my marriage.  Eventually I sought help from a counselor because I knew I had to change if I wanted to stay married.  Sex is an important part of a healthy marriage.  My husband was also very supportive and went to couples counseling with me.  It is really important that you can trust the person you are with and that you don’t feel pushed.  With that said, you have to make an effort to show progress and love.  I have progressed significantly and can say I’m happily married now for almost 19 years.

You have taken the most important step, recognizing there is a problem.  Now you just have to find someone help you work through it.  There are counselors that specialize in the area of sex.  You may have to meet a couple before you find one that is a good fit.  I was able to meet with someone for 3 visits through my employers EAP program.  It might be worth seeing if your employer has one.  It’s completely confidential so you don’t have to worry about it getting back to your employer.

Good luck in your journey!

Problems with intimacy

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