Hi Anonymous, In the past, I had similar experiences with people in my church, at work, and even in my family. I tried to be positive. I would listen to what they said and actually examine my actions, my motivations to determine my culpability. Oftentimes, I found the criticizers to be incorrect in what they said about my actions and motivations. Nonetheless, I practiced the recommendations of others. Forgive. Be patient. Be positive. Overlook. They are having a bad year. So, I was encouraged to sweep things under the rug. This went on for years and years in different situations. I was never encouraged to exit, to take care of myself, my person, my mental health. Or, when I did not see a way to exit, I found no insights from others that actually helped. What I did not realize until too late is there is something called "gaslighting" which is an abusive behavior used by people to control or render others into submission or pliability. Indeed it is a form of bullying. The person receiving such treatment with sincerity and humility over time ends up doubting almost everything they do. The gaslighter convinces the recipient she shouldn't feel this or think that, she is wrong here and wrong there. It wears her down. At the end of years of gaslighting and trying to comply, the person being gaslit ends up in a situation of confusion, bewilderment, a sense of lostness, helplessness, and usually depression and/or anxiety. I experienced this journey a long time ago. I have since become aware of gaslighting, and how that happened. I've become more mindful and in tune. I did feel harassed or needle by some. More frequently, I simply felt wrong or that I was unable to satisfy the requirements needed for situations with different gaslighters. Over time, my self-esteem was worn to nothing. My self-efficacy shattered. It was a cultural norm for the groups of people with which I was engaged and I saw little danger because I come from a family that does the same. That said, sometimes a person simply needs to escape for the protection of wellbeing. Gaslighting can be really subtle, but that does not reduce its impact over time. I encourage you to do some reading about gaslighting or visit a therapist to help you determine if this is happening and learn the potential of its impact on you. Therapists or counselors have been helpful for me when I found myself bewildered and needed insight for how to approach a challenge. This will offer insight one way or the other, how to stay or how to leave. Employee assistance programs (EAP) offer free visits as a benefit at many companies.