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LORI-ANN BURLINGAME
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804
Project Coordinator in Ohio
09/22/20 at 3:36PM UTC
in
Career

Job Referrals: Show Me The Money!

A genuine job referral should not have any strings attached. After all, are you trying to help the person seeking employment, or just looking out for yourself? This scenario just happened to me in my own employment search. In addition, it may have ended a long-term friendship. I have known this person for over ten years. We worked together at the same company for eight-half years; I left the company when they relocated. The job she referred me to was not even remotely similar to my background. However, “she felt” that it would be “ok” for a temporary assignment. So, what was the job? She described it as “cleaning up after a janitorial crew.” Now mind you, she works at a suburban middle school. Most of these children come from affluent families and are less than polite, and when it comes to cleanliness – do not hold your breath. And, no, I did not pursue this job. In addition, she did not take into account the location. I rely on public transportation; and I need to be mindful of my safety, winter, and subzero weather. Since then, she has not responded to my texts or email. So, I am wondering what was in it for her? What kind of referral fee was she going to receive? I know her well enough to know that if she can make money from something she will. What would you do if this happened to you?

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LORI-ANN BURLINGAME
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804
Project Coordinator in Ohio
09/25/20 at 9:08PM UTC
Thank you!
EMILY KIKUE FRANK
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1.19k
Emily is the founder of Career Catalyst
09/25/20 at 2:29PM UTC
I would venture the guess that your friend recommended the job either thoughtlessly or with some mysterious sort of malice, and now feels embarrassed. It's only a guess, of course, but since it sounds like you haven't done anything beyond not taking a crummy job, I suspect she had a small confrontation with her own "niceness" and perhaps saw that it wasn't so nice.
LORI-ANN BURLINGAME
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804
Project Coordinator in Ohio
09/25/20 at 4:27PM UTC
That could be... She is studying to be a paralegal and in my job search came across a job opening for a paralegal. Since this is her area of interest, I sent her the information. After what happened, I am only going to concentrate on my own job search.
EMILY KIKUE FRANK
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1.19k
Emily is the founder of Career Catalyst
09/25/20 at 8:25PM UTC
Sadly, that sounds like the wise course of action. I'm sorry to hear all of this happened to you, but at least you now get to focus on your own needs. Best of luck! Please keep us updated.
LORI-ANN BURLINGAME
star-svg
804
Project Coordinator in Ohio
09/23/20 at 12:09AM UTC
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I did explain to her why I didn't pursue the job, but I'm still getting the cold shoulder. In addition, she is taking classes to become a paralegal. I learned about a potential job opening for a paralegal and sent her the information. At least the job opening I sent her was in her field of interest. Obviously, she has no respect for me. And, I do not need or want those kind of people in my life.
Anonymous
09/22/20 at 5:01PM UTC
I haven't had this experience specifically, but I have had experiences with people I thought were friends turn on me and retaliate for something I had nothing to do with. For me, it depends on the relationship I had going into this experience and if it was something I felt worth continuing. I have learned, and been recently reminded, that not all friendships are worth maintaining. If you feel like this is a relationship you would like to continue, try and have an open, upfront conversation with her about why you chose not to pursue the job but that you appreciated her thinking of you. If this the final straw in the relationship, I, personally, would just cut ties (easier said than done, I know).

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