I am a mother of three and I currently work a hybrid position in revenue cycle.

31 Comments

1. AnonymousFebruary 5,2024 at 6:59PM UTC

   You have a tall order: fully remote position, no defined hours, work when you choose, little phone time and something that doesn't interfere with caring for your three kids. I agree that this is very unlikely. And starting your own business will be demanding in a very different way. I'll be frank, I'd have a hard time making the case to hire you with these restrictions. There are few roles that will offer this kind of flexibility, best of luck to you. You're going to need it.

2. AnonymousFebruary 5,2024 at 7:23PM UTC

   Similarly - as someone who theoretically has unlimited PTO, having that perk and using that perk aren't the same. If you are constantly out or unavailable, you will get put on a PIP or your PTO won't be approved.

3. JJFebruary 5,2024 at 7:12PM UTC

   You are right, that will be tough. Even when I worked from home with little kids, I still had a babysitter come in during the day because I had to actually work. There are companies that are very family friendly, but there will still be a lot of juggling. I have unlimited PTO and am still tied to my phone most vacations. Being an entrepreneur never worked for me, because going to find money always stressed me out, but that works for some other people. Good luck!! I know those years are a drag.

4. AnonymousFebruary 5,2024 at 7:22PM UTC

   I would also like a unicorn, but unfortunately, it doesn't exist. Starting your own business will involve less work life balance and a lot more hustle. Instead, I think you need to determine what you non-negotiable is. I have unlimited PTO, but that doesn't actually mean I can take off whenever I want. It's a negotiation with my boss. If you have the money to start you own business (which is costly) is not working or working part-time an option?

5. AnonymousFebruary 5,2024 at 7:30PM UTC

   You'll need a company with good policies but the hiring manager is the one you have to feel out during the interview process.

   Be wary of unlimited PTO too, depends on the manager. My old manager didn't view it as unlimited, but other teams had it ok. A company saying "unlimited" gets a free get-out-of-jail card if they lay anyone off, they don't have to pay any PTO that was due.

6. Suzanne TaylorFebruary 7,2024 at 1:24PM UTC

   I work from home full-time, and you still need childcare (unless your kids are older and can take care of themselves -- maybe 6 and up?).

   In any job, you need to be in meetings/on calls at some point, meaning you need coverage to watch the kids unless they're fully independent. This is especially true if you run your own business (been there, done that) because you are meeting with prospective or current clients.

   Remote jobs are also VERY competitive because literally anyone can apply. If that's your top goal, I recommend finding positions for which you're a very strong fit and have years of experience to qualify you. It could mean taking a cut in pay/level. I suggest evaluating your priorities for work and involvement in your children's life so you can decide the best option to pursue. Good luck!

7. Lanie VaughanFebruary 7,2024 at 1:43PM UTC

   It's really tough. I was a stay-at-home mom when my twins were born - my then-husband and I made that decision because they were premies, and it was ridiculous to spend $300+ a day for day care. Money was tight, and I, too, thought about that as well. Would you be able to work a remote part-time job or do you need to work full time? There's no easy answer. Even if you do your own business, you'd need to devote some attention and time to it, unless you've already got a clientele. I always wished I could be in two places at once because it's exhausting just being a mom, never mind working, housework, and cooking on top of it! I did eventually find a part-time job once my twins were in Kindergarten, that eventually ended up being a career for myself now. Sending good vibes your way.

8. AnonymousFebruary 7,2024 at 2:12PM UTC

   I have worked from home since my daughter was in 2nd or 3rd grade (over 20 years). She still went to after-school program every day until middle school. Work from home has the same demands as in an office...maybe more depending on the company/management. While some companies embrace the culture, they do so by micromanaging the employees that are out of sight (but not out of mind). It sucks missing kids' events, but our culture sadly doesn't give a crap about that.

   I have had uncapped PTO at my last 3 jobs, and it's really awesome. I don't abuse it, and I'm not scrambling to use or lose hours at the end of the fiscal year (like every other employee). I have also had great managers who encourage using it (but that doesn't mean excessively).

   Starting your own business will rob you of more time (and stress) than your current day job.

   I'm not trying to discourage you, but I want to keep it real. Fully remote jobs are out there but they're probably not the cake walk you're looking for.

9. Kendra HillFebruary 7,2024 at 2:16PM UTC

   I’m sorry, what’s this unlimited PTO? That sounds amazing. I have never had that in a job.

10. AnonymousFebruary 9,2024 at 2:43PM UTC

    It sounds amazing but the only people it really benefits are employees very new to a company who might otherwise have limited vacation days. For those of us who had a lot of vacation, it wasn't good and the company doesn't have to pay you the balance of it when they let you go.

11. GirlBossanova934974February 7,2024 at 2:34PM UTC

    I have seen these sort of "Unlimited PTO" companies and their policies. I would avoid them. That Unlimited bucket has a tendency to be gone before you know it. Your supervisor still has to approve it.. AH HA! As for remote work, it depends on your skillsets. There are still tons of jobs for highly skilled white collar professionals. One thing about Remote work and a big caution on that front. YOU have to be able to TRUST the people you are working with. Back stabbers and such can be a huge problem in remote teams. My former remote assignment started out very well. We had a management change a year or so later. The culture changed very quickly. Back stabbing, finger pointing, and all sorts of office politics became the norm. That was because the person who stepped in at the top, did nothing but play office politics, 24X7. So be cautious.

12. Julie EFebruary 7,2024 at 2:46PM UTC

    Starting your own business is longer hours than working a full-time job. You don’t get to clock out at the end of the day and the lines between work and personal time get blurred. Your clients are essentially your boss and health insurance is really expensive when you don’t have a company paying a big chunk of the premiums. Plus your clients pay you when they feel like paying you. Or sometimes they don’t and you have to take legal action. My ex- husband was self-employed and I experienced all of that and I think it’s what ruined our marriage. The lack of stability was awful.

13. AnonymousFebruary 7,2024 at 3:39PM UTC

    Sorry but you are not the first person who is unhappy when they have to miss their kids activities. There are no jobs that will pay you and give you unlimited PTO. You either work for yourself understanding if you are not responsive to the needs of your clients they will leave you. Second option, you become a stay at home mom, with no pay received except the joy in the day to day milestones that you do not miss. You can always work later but you will need to keep your skills up or you will be obsolete.

14. AnonymousFebruary 7,2024 at 3:59PM UTC

    It sounds like you want to win the lottery, not find a job. Would you hire an employee with these restrictions? I wouldn't.

15. AnonymousFebruary 7,2024 at 6:24PM UTC

    She did also say she’s thinking about starting her own business. Maybe she should lean in to it rather worry how employers would view her restrictions. It’s risky somewhat similarly to trying to win the lottery but, she wouldn’t have to worry about what’s an employer going to think of her needing so much ch family time.

16. AnonymousFebruary 7,2024 at 7:38PM UTC

    As someone that has her own business I can tell you that you work a lot MORE hours than you do for someone else. It sounds romantic and easy, it is anything but.

17. AnonymousFebruary 8,2024 at 4:14PM UTC

    It doesn’t sound romantic or easy. It depends on what scale of a business she wants to run. If she wants more time at home, the popularity of the internet has made it easier to do smaller scale projects from home. I. Her position of want more kid time, I’m assuming she wouldn’t overshoot and try to start something remotely grand scale. She should be focused on making enough to survive.

18. AnonymousFebruary 9,2024 at 1:40AM UTC

    That's a lot of assumptions - how many businesses have you started and run successfully?

    Babying people isn't real help.

19. AnonymousFebruary 9,2024 at 4:33PM UTC

    How am I babying this person. I don’t know what sort of skills she has but there are resourceful crafty people on Etsy. Some crafts are fairly simple/ the right idea can be profitable. Hell people bake cookies on the side and sell in their community. They’re at home with their kids when they do it. Hustles are hustles. It’s up to the person if they stick with it or not. My sister’s side hustle which allowed her more time at home with her kids was successful enough to get a big article in the local paper. In the end if it’s a path she wants to go down, it’s up to her to find what’s right for her. I’m not saying anything like start a tech company because it’ll be easy. Lots of people capitalize on simple needs and find success!

20. AnonymousFebruary 11,2024 at 4:18PM UTC

    It might be worth looking into but not lottery if taken seriously.

21. AnonymousFebruary 7,2024 at 5:40PM UTC

    Make a list, determine the minimum things you are willing to do in a job and the ones you are not. If the list is more aligned with your life and not work perhaps get work in a daycare center where you can look after your children and bring them to work. It is not your employers responsibility to help you to spend more time with your children, that is on you. Be realistic and perhaps take a sabbatical until they are of a certain age where you feel less left out.

22. AnonymousFebruary 8,2024 at 1:15AM UTC

    Working fully remote doesn't mean you can walk away from the desk and be with your kids. You still have to be there during work hours.

    You need to either be an at-home mom or get daycare.

23. ElizabethFebruary 8,2024 at 3:33AM UTC

    Not necessarily. It CAN mean that you can work different shifts, flexible shifts, or work when you want as long as it gets done by deadline (such as freelancing). But you have to be the type of person who can organize that kind of schedule successfully.

24. Jamie Martin, ACCFebruary 8,2024 at 2:18PM UTC

    It sounds like you aren't happy in your job overall. And it's not just about missing your kids activities. You may want to first dig into what is important to you in your work. What do you like to do? What do you want in a manager? Etc...

    If you only look based on the remote and unlimited pto, you may find yourself unhappy again.

    By looking more into what would give you a fulfilling career, you can then look at how you would also include your values of being there for your mom. You can look for a manager who appreciates this about you and works with you on being successful at work at the same time.

    For example, I had a manager who knew that I would do my work. He also called family. So, he worked with me and other employees to give us the ability to be able to be with our family's at the important moments.

    If you want, I just put together a free guided reflection journal exercise to help with this type of clarity. Respond if you want the link.

25. AnonymousFebruary 8,2024 at 2:56PM UTC

    you do realize WORKING from home you miss moments in your children' lives ,,, do they not go to school... they will soon enough. sorry but starting your OWN comany is going to take you away from your kids even MORE.

26. AnonymousFebruary 8,2024 at 3:51PM UTC

    A lot of commenters seem to think a remote job with flexibility & unlimited (and honored) PTO is a myth. While it IS uncommon, it definitely exists. However, as others have pointed out, the policy on paper isnt what matters. Really take time to make sure the person you report to & the HR dept honor those policies. For example, my boss literally pressures people to take more PTO (avg for our dept is about 150-200hrs/yr).

    If you're looking for roles that allow some flexibility for when you need to be at your desk (although you still cant just disappear in the middle of the day), look at operations (revenue/product/marketing, not business ops) or engineering. Salesforce or Gainsight or Hubspot admins are also a great gig.

    I have a woman on my team with a 3 & 5yr old. She is customer facing, so she does still need child care services, but when a kid is sick or something, she doesnt usually have to miss work.

27. AnonymousFebruary 8,2024 at 7:34PM UTC

    Maybe something in the gig economy where you have the flexibility to set your own hours as you need. However, with that flexibility can come an unsteady paycheck and inconsistent hours so its a trade off.

28. AnonymousFebruary 9,2024 at 1:43PM UTC

    If you find a job with unlimited paid time off, please sign me up. :) However, there are remote jobs with time flexibility. But when you are "clocked in" you need to be actually working and not spending time with your kids. Someone should be caring for them so that you can focus on work. However, there are remote jobs with flexibility on time, particularly part time jobs, that you could do when kids are sleeping or at school that would free up more kid hours. It never hurts to start looking.

29. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMEFebruary 9,2024 at 7:00PM UTC

    Have you reached out to contract/temporary employment services in your area? They may have a client who is looking for your specific skill set.

    However, you are asking a lot of any company. It is difficult being a mom and needing/wanting to work. Before having children, did you think about the choices you may have to make?

    My parents were divorced. My mother was a tax auditor and worked long hours. During tax season, she worked six (6) days a week. My siblings and I all had chores to help out.

    Do you have to work? Does your salary/income contribute to the overall household expenses? If you are in a two income family, you may want to talk about your feelings with your partner.

30. Stephanie Branch LekowskiFebruary 11,2024 at 4:16PM UTC

    If they demand that it's unreasonable. All those months during Covid lockdowns women were expected to juggle work and care of children, elderly relatives, etc. For employers to assume all women are "abusing" remote/flexible arrangements is unfair at best, hypocritical at worst.

31. AnonymousFebruary 11,2024 at 7:25PM UTC

    I have a friend who is a real estate agent and loves it. She has the flexibility to take vacation whenever she would like or step away for a few hours to go to her kids' school events. Hoewver, on the flip side she often meets with clients and answers messages on the weekends or evenings. She once had to step out of her anniversary dinner with her husband to take a client call when they were at a crucial point in accepting a buyers offer. Even though her job has "flexibility" her work hours are not confined to 9-5. If she doesn't close the deals, she doesn't get paid as she is on commission only. At least wtih a job that has a more structured shift and less flexiblity your time is yours outside of work hours.