I want to put in my notice in at my current position of 1 1/2 years.

Anonymous

April 4,2022 at 5:27AM UTC

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I want to put in my notice in at my current position of 1 1/2 years. I am a middle aged woman and work with "Leaders" in Education and I'm twice their age. I feel they are not accepting or understanding me as an individual due to the huge age gap. The kids I work with I get along great with and kept retention at my site. My original main coordinator upon hire did not take a liking in me or another educator from the beginning. We have since got a new coordinator and she recently sent HR a positive review about me and how I'm a huge blessing to the company and the kids and a great team player (not sure if she suspects I'm getting harassed or going to quit?) however the extended leadership who I rarely see that's at another location I have got zero respect from. (my guess is due to past gossip) Most seem to bad mouthed me and I have not been given a chance to say my side of the story or been confronted about anything but its easy to tell gossip is running rampant. I had my 10yr. old come to work with me who has been gossiped about as well so I pulled her from the program and coworkers have non stop been in my personal life and business. I am getting attitude from my past coworkers that I'm not being professional, yet they are the ones asking invasive personal questions and putting me in a predicament to answer every time I show up to work. I also had one of the employees (who is in a different department but has her kid coming to the program) husband come in and just sit around asking questions about my daughters where abouts and how she is doing which is making me extremely uncomfortable. It is overboard at this point with coworkers not respecting my personal boundaries and due to the positive feedback from my current coordinator I am so confused on their intentions. To me it sounds like the other woman in another department is being the mole and trying to get information. She is also not liked by most of her tenants as she goes hard on trying to get them kicked out of the complex when she feels they are a detriment and has also told me she has gotten several coworkers fired. It all has me on edge. I confronted 3 of my coworkers regarding the gossip about my kid which they denied, but even with her out of the program they have been relentless on collecting information about me. I am putting my notice in tomorrow. My question is , is it ok to say I'm leaving for personal reasons and not explain? And if any outsider reads this can you give me any insight. I would greatly appreciate the feedback.

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AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 7:31AM UTC
Testify sister!
Depending on your minority status which you are since you are the only "elder", people feel entitled to get in your bizness. This is very unacceptable conduct. They not only don't have boundaries but they're showing you your place in the hierarchy. If you answer you've betrayed your sense of self respect, if you don't, you're a witch. And how dare you not accept their friendship lol. PS. My coworkers ask me my age, race and other very personal information that reveals my sexual availability. Its creepy AF.
AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 12:16PM UTC
Omg this is exactly what is happening.
I feel like my self respect is out the window due to this behavior. Yes, my 23 year old lead who is strange and coo coo asked me passively “how old I was when I had my daughter” so that would tell her indirectly my age. I stupidly and impulsively answered. So now she knows my age and smirked. She’s creepy to me too . The kids don’t really show if I’m not there and she gets crazy and takes it personal. .They treat me like they are way better than me. How do you answer these ? Or do you? When they ask you on the spot. And what do you do when someone behaves like your low on hierarchy? Best to quit right? Thanks for your input.
Yvonne LoorijApril 4,2022 at 7:17PM UTC
Instead of answering the question, you could turn it around and say: o that's so nice, are you thinking about having children yourself? Let's see how she answers that, haha!
Yvonne LoorijApril 4,2022 at 9:22AM UTC
It sounds like a very toxic workplace to me! Not sure if your age has anything to do with it though. And for sure you don't have to explain why you are leaving.
But before you decided to do that, did you think about other alternatives, like speaking to HR and maybe your current coordinator about the situation? Could you be transferred to another part of the organisation? They do appreciate your experience apparently.
What kind of notice period do you have? If you put in notice, would you be able to find another job quickly? Otherwise it might be better to search for a new job first before giving notice.
Just some thoughts - hope it helps!
AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 12:40PM UTC
It is a toxic environment no doubt. I have threatened with my last lead to go to HR and defended myself with the new lead. Seems I get “passive aggressive” videos from my main boss I never see putting me in “my place” . I personally have a huge issue with Educators who think they are physicians and this rubs self entitled egos very wrong. They have pegged me as some narcissist which I’m not even close to. The organization is nonprofit but feels corporate. I gather the higher ups are a bit narcissistic and created such hostility. . Not many are happy in the company but they pay decent. I can go back to working at the district for another month right away. I don’t like that environment but at least it buys me time and I work with older adults like myself. They probably wouldn’t mind if I put in a month notice but the torture might not be worth it.
AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 4:58PM UTC
Non profit environment are usually run like dysfunctional families so this is not surprising. Just distance yourself and stay out of the gossip.
AnonymousApril 5,2022 at 3:23PM UTC
So I gave them notice. My coordinator seemed annoyed and upset but my main boss said I can always come back. They send out reviews anonymous they say should I point out the issues or let it go?
AnonymousApril 5,2022 at 4:20PM UTC
Since you are leaving on good terms, I would let it go. Honestly I can't see them acknowledging your point of view or making any sweeping changes based on what you tell them. It can all be explained away by pointing to you as Toxic or a gossip. Do you really want to deal with that? They will easily figure out who you are even with anonymous reviews. I don't trust them.
I'm grateful you're getting away from all the chaos.
AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 4:55PM UTC
Yes, the less said the better on your reasons for leaving. Stay out of the gossip. No one can force you to say anything you don't want to say.