I’m conflicted if staying or going is what’s right with my career and family.

You basically answered your own question about the why you have not received a raise however you think should have been given you. But part of your frustration, you are also physically pregnant which is also changing your mind perception of the situation and you are not thinking about the effect of caring for a child will change everything you think about how you deal with job performance. You need to look at the bigger long term picture instead of the here and now. You have a job that has given you the opportunity to develop your skills and progress up in position and made accommodations for your IVF process, which sounds like they will also accommodate your needs during the birth process and your maternity leave period. You do not know how you will be adapting/adjusting until you reach those stages and what you think now may not be the same then. Of course if you have an adequate support system financially at home, where your salary doesn’t effect your lifestyle because your earnings are just for your own personal gain, it doesn’t matter what you do career wise and can take chances and have adequate support to have the childcare situation covered with no effect on your career other than a quick leave of absence to recover physically from the birth. Having a child, affects women in their career paths much more than fatherhood effects men in their careers because they have a backup system already in place—the wife. I know that sounds sexist but that’s the wall in your way along with the physical and mental challenges that you will face when you have this child and I can tell that you, the OP are determined to be successful and not let anything hold you back. You want to earn more money but you will be limited in finding that job ASAP because you are pregnant but you have a job at present that is accommodating your pregnancy and allowing you to both progress and keep working—who knows you might be able to keep working without having to take a prolonged maternity leave recovery time which means you will still be paid as an active employee versus one on leave with an adaptive schedule that fits your childcare schedule. Think about it

Your 2nd and 3rd trimesters will fly by and even in perfect health you will want to enjoy your pregnancy and maternity leave. No matter how in demand your skill set is, the market is extremely trying at the moment so I would get your resume ready, let your network know your your timing and then coast while you can. Even $20K more is not that much after taxes. Be very wise about your stress level and peace of mind.