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Margaret
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13
08/27/20 at 9:57AM UTC (Edited)
in
Management

My manager despises me

I do not know how it happened but I am getting older physically - not in spirit. I have had a great career but recently have taken a job where my manager appears to hate me and from the first two weeks of the job has implied that I am unable to multitask and cannot "grasp the material." She also accuses me of being away from my desk when I am working like a dog and once accused me of not being online and I had to send her a screenshot proving I was on the phone queue. She then said, UMM HUMMM. Not believing the camera! I have a southern accent with a drawl and I realize and can make a one syllable word into three. I have not worked outside my state in years but am now on a national team, remotely, and we know each other by voice. It is a cliche that a southern accent makes one appear stupid and a Northern accept makes one appear smart. She lets me know in many ways as do her two assistants, that she thinks I am an idiot. I keep thinking when she gets to see that I am a dedicated hard worker and gets to know me and my character it will be okay.....Not happening. This job is different for me in that it is Telehealth work and speed is the main component. Everything is timed from the phone calls to after call work, ect. I did not know until hired that you have to go very fast and all work is recorded and timed. I am in 50 something and cannot compete with millennials for speed though I can type fast. . I need this job and have been afraid of getting fired from the first two weeks. I have worked so hard to do well..my productivity scores were at the top of the metric but she failed me anyway. She seems to be in a bad mood on Friday's and will out of the blue contact me in anger about something. For example, on this call queue we have back to back calls and only a 30 min lunch and two scheduled 15 minute breaks. There are multiple computer programs to learn plus insurance benefits, state requirements, and rules, rules, rules. I was on a call with one of our doctors about a patient and we were concerned and discussing a care plan. He had me took up info on the internet and I had multiple screens open. I was really listening to what he was telling me. She starts emailing me, calling my cell phone and everything because on our ongoing chat, it had been 7 minutes since she had pinged me and that it was UNACCEPTABLE to not respond to her for 7 minutes. She had not texted me on a chat in weeks and I had just not realized it. She is yelling at me over the chat and emailing as I am apologizing and trying to talk with the doctor. When my call with the doctor ended she was telling me I had been off the phone queue tooo long and to hurry hurry. I had to write the note and my hands were shaking and she was telling me to hurry and typing "what is taking so long, it is a short note" and I kept messing up due to the stress. She does this all the time andstays on me about speed of typing etc. and I get so stressed that I cannot do well. There is a lot of information to learn on this job and when I have asked for help - we have to request time to study workflow own or get another to help ; she says things like "I will get you help AGAIN" or yes "we will take up more staff time trying to help you again." I know from the other new CA's that are asking for help but their managers are supportive. The stress level for now 6 months has taken an effect on me. Then she wrote me up and when viewing it on the HR work site a I saw she had done a performance eval that I was not notified about. On this eval she failed me even though my scores and statistics had me at the highest level for one metric and average or above average on others. After my scores were noted on the eval as meeting the metric or aloe the metric s she would say it meets the metric BUT she is not getting it, she is working through her breaks to keep up, or she "suspects" I am ......accusation, accusation.. ( exAMPLE "working through hours ter to change the statistics".....always thinking I am dishonest which again started at the beginning with no c cause. Beksides being stupid she has accused me of not being at my desk during work time and of other dishonest acts. All keystrokes arShe has also accused me of asking a manger if I could take off without pay each month to get a hairdo (reference to south...big hair). She loses her temper and puts barriers in my way to stop me from having the same learning opportunities as the other CA's. I do not know what to do. I cannot take the stress and I am intimidated by her. I need this job. She has now told me if I make one more mistake until the end of the year I could be terminated. I do not know what to do. Any advice? Am I being a whiny baby or is my fear and anxiety real. Is this discrimination of age and culture?

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Anonymous
08/27/20 at 1:54PM UTC
Hi Margaret, That really sucks and is horrendous way to be treated . In my experience HR is there for the company not for you, but if you want to report this manager then you should. I think you should decide if this is how you want to work and to work for a place who keeps this bad a manager , total reflection on the company sounds like a rotten company , in my opinion you have two choices 1. Find another job ASAP You are smart and skilled And it’s scary but it’s worth your time 2. If you decide to stay at that company you need to find a way to let the anxiety and anger go , and just keep doing your job your way.... she will make you sick this stress will make you sick and you don’t want to give any Job or any manager that much power it is not worth it. Good luck
Margaret
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13
08/31/20 at 12:20AM UTC
Thank you all so very much. It warmed my heart to hear this feedback and get validation. You are so kind. I am glad I found this group. I know I must find something else but dread it so much. I hate the interviewing process and scared at my age I will not find anything and face more rejection. Thank you for the honest, timely feedback. It is hard to find people to level with you and give an honest opinion. I better get going on my resume. Bless you all!!!
Anonymous
08/27/20 at 1:04PM UTC
Having been thru a similar situation myself, here are my lessons learned: 1. Document EVERYTHING - date, time, situation, what was said, who was involved. I recommend taking notes, and typing them up on a personal device - not company equipment. 2. Do not vet your situation to anyone at your company - use your close friends not affiliated with your company. 3. Use your breaks - get outside and away from your desk. Your mental and physical health is #1! 4. Involve HR ONLY when you have clear documentation, and better yet - witnesses, as if you don't - it could backfire back on you. I can't stress enough that although the situation is awful -it is critical you protect yourself. I dealt with a sociopath/narcissist boss in my past - toxic and soul sucking! Get out of this situation - ASAP
Gretchen Skalka
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905
Career and Leadership Development Coach
08/27/20 at 12:29PM UTC
Hugs to you, Margaret! Bad bosses are an unfortunate reality for many people. I see that you've got an HR department at your company and that she did an evaluation you were not informed about - which sounds very much like a precursor to a PIP. Telehealth is demanding and stressful without the added burdon of a boss who actively tries to undermine you and invalidate your contribution to the company. I'm not sure what her tenure or reputation is with the company, but I can tell you that you have two options: 1 - as the others have so rightly advised - begin exploring other employment options for yourself 2 - document everything - and I do mean everything - *IF* you choose to stay at your present company. If you choose to explore other options - do so from the perspective that you have a rich employment history that has provided many skills in demand. Because you do. No matter where you worked or what you did - every job and every work experience teaches us skills we take to the next. And so on and so on. Please do not sell yourself short. Ever. (and don't let anyone else do it either ;)
Denise
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348
Contracts & Accounting Manager
08/27/20 at 11:50AM UTC
I agree with Sweet Caroline. Having been bullied by a boss in the past, there are only two realistic options: escalate the issue to HR or your boss's supervisor, or get the heck out of Dodge. Escalating the issue would likely make matters worse, even though in a decent company it shouldn't. My advice - get outta Dodge as quickly as you can.
Deb Katz
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32
Dynamic Marketing Professional
08/27/20 at 11:45AM UTC
I'm in the same boat and have been to HR (no help), and to the ombudsperson (nice, but again no help). Love my organization, but this is driving me to look elsewhere for a position where I can work in a positive environment.
Sweet Caroline
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4.25k
08/27/20 at 11:29AM UTC
Does the organization have an HR department? Perhaps reaching out confidentially to ask for the metrics required for your job would be helpful. Alternately schedule some time preferably when your not supposed to be on the cue, to talk to her and try to understand what specifically she thinks you are failing at, maybe it’s something you don’t even know. I would start looking for another job ASAP. I have learned that sometimes bosses pick someone to hate, there is nothing you can do when they pick you. I have seen it over and over, they can be like school yard bullies.

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