I signed onto my job as a salaried individual contributor; my expectations were that I'd work 40-50 hours a week but it's turned into "get it done, no matter what".
April 18,2023 at 3:49AM UTC
I have two very little children that I have had to forfeit time with, working into the evenings and weekends for my job. This was NOT an expectation (I explicitly asked) when taking the position. I have told my boss that I don't have the capacity to meet some of these deadlines but am told "everybody is working hard" and that I literally need to make it work. So, I work 12 hours a day sometimes. I don't get to put my baby to sleep or stay home with her when she's sick. Let me be clear... what I do is really not that important. There arent emergencies in my field, I promise. My employer echoes this sentiment explicitly and yet... they don't walk the walk.
So, there is this expectation of "this is normal business" and an expectation of you. I have never felt so incompetent in my life. I think it's time I move on. I have given it the good ole heave, ho for three years so I have REALLY tried. It just gets progressively worse.
This isn't EVERY job nowadays, right? I know my employer has absolutely no responsibility for accommodating my home life. Totally fine. I just can't keep up with these expectations but does that make me weak? Unable to handle it? For the love... not every salaried person has to do "whatever it takes" in terms of hours... right?
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I work in a collegiate setting.
I am the only University employee and all of my coworkers are employed by the US Government. There are only two women in this group. She started a mere two weeks after I did and we've both been trying to figure out our roles and responsibilities without hand off from the prior employees.
It started out well and I thought things were good but lately she's had a bug up her butt (sorry) about "something". She's been downright rude in many things for weeks! My approach has been to walk on by and ignore the poor behavior but I've about reached the end of my patience. Nothing is a big deal but the little dings are starting to be like ant bites for irritating.
For example, one day she asked me if I knew how to get to the Parking authority. I stopped my work and brought it up on maps and printed out how to get from our building to their department. I waited 30-60 minutes and she never came back and I didn't see the point of stopping again and taking it to her office. Then she said "I'm going over to Parking." and I said "I printed you a map." She said "It's ok I'll use my phone." At which point I said "So glad I printed the map to help you." (with loads of sarcasm!) She may not have even heard it as she had breezed out the door. I just thought to myself how rude it was.
I do not want to take to superiors as I believe the two of us should be adult enough to work it out. I cannot take it to HR as she and I are covered under two different HRs and it would only complicate it.
I'd like your perspectives. 1) sit down and ask her what I did and apologize vowing never to repeat? 2) sit down and say I'm feeling hurt and puzzled, ask what/why and defend my actions (depending on what she lays out).
Is there something you'd recommend other than 1 or 2? Or should I just continue to 'be the better person' and hope it blows over?
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Fertility/pregnancy discrimination at an organization that “supports” women?
Sorry for the long post but there's a lot to outline...
I’ve been at my current organization for 4 years and have always had excellent performance reviews and have worked incredibly hard to “prove myself” in the earlier years.
I intentionally sought out my current organization for its fully remote workforce and its mission to support women in their careers - something I desperately desired in my career as I was planning on having children soon and wanted the flexibility and support that seemed guaranteed at this organization.
When I received the offer to join my current organization, they did not have a formal paid parental leave policy as most of the employees were a bit older and already had children. I was the first employee approaching their childbearing years, so as part of my offer I negotiated 3 months of paid parental leave (especially since as a small company there are no other health benefits offered).
In 2022, as my partner and I tried to expand our family, I had two subsequent miscarriages (not to mention other very difficult family issues including the prolonged hospital stay of a mentally and medically unstable family member and the death of my father in law). In short - it was an incredibly difficult year. I needed to take some away from work and went to about 60% part-time from August to December with the intention of always returning to a full-time work schedule. I still worked hard and delivered excellent results during this period.
In January 2023, I had grieved and recovered enough that I was ready to begin ramping back up, although I informed my employer that I was starting to undergo fertility treatments and still needed the flexibility for those appointments. They seemed amenable to this.
In early April 2023, two days after I returned I returned from a planned vacation, I was informed that we were in “cash conservation” mode due to the Silicon Valley Bank collapse and other economic concerns. During this discussion, what seemed like a request was made for me to consider going to 50% time and compensation. Later, it became clear that this was not in fact a request, but something I had no choice in the matter, and that there was no definitive date for when my hours and compensation could return to full-time. (And, by the way, we are hiring 2 new business development executives to try to boost revenue - no doubt my compensation cut subsidizing the base salary of these individuals). I was only 1 of 2 employees affected by this 50% decision.
For a multitude of reasons, this news of course has prompted me to start a new job search. Here’s the kicker though…I’m now 9 weeks pregnant with what seems to finally be a viable and healthy pregnancy. My previously negotiated 3 months of paid parental leave at my current organization is in limbo…I can’t afford to stay at 50% pay indefinitely, nor would it be “fair” for me to take this leave at 50% of my pay when I’ve been working full-time for the majority of my tenure. And because I’m already pregnant, my options for now obtaining paid parental leave at a new employer are threatened by the eligibility period for those benefits. So it’s hard to feel like my current employer has completely ruined any chance of collecting on a benefit I have been long anticipated using - either at my current employer or any future employer.
I realize that there are often very difficult business decisions that need to be made, and that my employer also could’ve laid me off completely instead of the 50% cut…but it’s also put me in a very difficult position…financially and in my ability to share details about my complicated employment situation with my network and prospective employers, including details I’m not quite ready to share yet about the status of my pregnancy, for fear of continued pregnancy discrimination during the hiring process.
I’m open to any and all advice on what I should do, or what I even can do.
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I have decided to leave my current position due to pressure from supervisor and director.
I don’t have another job lined up unfortunately and was looking at applying for a part time lower paying job until I find something better. I know the lower paying job might ask why am deciding to do this versus finding a higher paying job. How do I answer this question?
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Underpaid and overworked in Higher Ed - do I play the long game?
I have been working in higher ed for about 2 years now. I really enjoy my job but I am surprised at how raises and promotions work here. I work for a state funded college and the only way to move up is to interview for a brand new job on campus and possibly switch teams to something completely different.
I have a lovely boss that I love and a great commute. However, my job is grant funded which means that it is not permanent and has a (hazy) end date. My job also recently changed so that I work 50% of my time with my current boss, and 50% of my time on a new team. This is what happens with "temporary" staff like myself.
The workload is starting to feel like 2 jobs in one. In addition, the new team is chaotic and disorganized and stressful. I feel like the new team could be a good growth opportunity with lots to learn. In addition, it seems to have a higher title. But it too is grant funded with a hazy end date. I also haven't seen my pay bump yet for the additional work that I am doing on the new team and when that will occur is beyond me.
My current boss who I love keeps talking about a "path to permanency" here which would finally be a permanent job and higher pay and real benefits. But his hands are tied - it's not up to him my pay rate, or if/when I will change categories. Right now I have very little PTO. But this discussion has been going on for a long time. I am wondering if I need to just apply for a brand new "permanent" job on campus, or leave. Right now I am seeing very few roles on campus that seem like they could be a good fit.
TLDR; in short, I am underpaid for the high level of work that I am doing at the moment, but the path up is extremely precarious and hazy. I'd love to work here for a long time if I could get a title that matches the level of work that I do and finally enjoy the benefits of a state job. I am being paid and treated as an admin but I am managing 2 staff, producing large scale events, handling complex grant and budget issues and much, much, much more. I had thought that this new team opportunity would lead to something more but I am losing hope.
My husband and I are undergoing fertility treatment so I am also hoping to minimize stress in my life if possible. I don't need to really be in a super high level job right now and am OK with just being a coordinator or analyst. But, I feel like I am not being paid my worth and am thinking about applying for something else.
Advice? I'm curious if any of you have been through something similar.
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How do I negotiate for a higher salary..
Talking about money in general is something I am never comfortable doing. I never fight for myself , and I know (particularly as a woman of color) that I am often underpaid compared to most of my peers with similar qualifications. I am going to be offered a new position that will essentially be a promotion, but onto another team. I am hearing thru the grapevine what the salary is that they are going to offer me, and it is much lower than what I want and feel I have earned. I'm being encouraged by my current supervisor to accept that number like it is a great deal, simply because it is more than I am making now. I am certain that other employees who followed a similar path of moving into this role were started off at more. As a woman of color, I feel like I have to walk that fine line of not being seen/heard in a negative light. I have to watch how I approach the conversation, but I must try to gather the confidence to do so and pray that it is well received. I want to take the job but I don't want to settle. For once I want to feel like I'm being paid at the top of the salary range or near the top of the salary range for the position. I do believe that my qualifications, skillset, and tenure justify it. HELP!
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I am still angry about things happened the last months.
There was no communication at all at work. The department exists since October 2021. I started to work here December 2021. Since the beginning, there is no communication.
Pretty quick I got this position. Very good fitting.
Yet, it was almost impossible to work in a healthy environment. There is a lot of favouritism, and many different groups. All connected to each other. Not functioning employees are being protected by these groups/this favouritism.
I am introverted and HSP, and I feel this deeply. Negatively. I spoke about this several times. My direct manager agrees. Others, who need to solve it, told me I need to get to know the difference between friendship & favouritism.
I know the difference, and this is plain favouritism.
The turn-over since the start of the department is between 45-52%. Yes, you read it correctly.
Finally, I gave my 2 months notice (a few weeks ago... I felt I was pushed to it). As the position I have is a management position, I directly got a phone call (I gave my notice on a day off). In the phone call, I was told not to come back. They wanted to offer me 2 months and let me stay at home.
I didn't want this. It is easier for my to apply for new jobs while working (working keeps my mind off stress. Even when the job is stressful). So I kept coming and working. I still didn't sign the official resignation papers from the company.
Then HR wanted to talk with me. This conversation was about 1.5 hours. And during this time I was named "mental" at leat 7 times. Because I take things (not being told what changed/was adapted etc.) personal.
I was named "mental" by HR. I want to be informed about needs for my job (information which often fails). And now I am mental because I take it personally. Well, yes, when I cannot do my work correct because information failed, then it is in the end personally.
After consulting a labour lawyer, I finally took the 2 months. I was advised to do this. In the English version of the contract was something mentioned, which was not in the original language. And could have a very negative impact on me.
I am at home a few weeks now. The 2 months I should receive gross into net, was (how could it be!) not net, as said. Difference about BGN 1200 ($700). Not going to do anything against it. I tried, but the person who called me "mental" came with many excuses. Not possible to win this. But I am still very angry.
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