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Performative allyship turns ugly
It’s a long story, but I’ll make it short. I run a DEI “workgroup” at my job, and have been doing so for the past year. I have been here for a little over a year, so yes, I, a Black woman, started it. As a group (but primarily me), we write statements on behalf of the company, lead trainings for staff, and have been working on changing company policy. I am in an entry level project management role.
Anyway, we had performance review/promotion review season in June and it was....unpleasant. With the exception of one person, every POC that applied for promotion was denied. I myself, when I tried to advocate for getting an additional merit increase for my work with the DEI group, was told that it didn’t qualify, but that my manager wrote into my review and said I did a good job - and that should be good enough. My manager also told me that the DEI work is just the kind of work people do to get noticed, and I have to accept that. I explained to her the historical context/emotional labor aspect that makes that problematic.
So, I told them I would be stopping my DEI work, since it was just extracurricular anyway to focus more on my projects.
My boss and our CEO (small nonprofit) proceeded to have an entire meltdown about this and asked me to consider staying. The workgroup and I devised some asks, the primary one being that they go back and review performance reviews and merit increases for the year and include the DEI group. We specifically said we were looking for compensation.
They got back to us this week after 6 weeks to say that they reviewed all the performance reviews and merit increases, and felt like managers did a good job the first time around....!
So I quit the workgroup....again. Now I feel like I have a target in my back and I’m stressed out! What do I do?
R. S.
Aspiring Project Manager
50
09/09/20 at 5:28AM UTC
Great advices so far!
Make sure that you yourself have documented what you have done for the company, people, and the work. If there were any metrics you used, take a note of that. Make sure it's displayed and you've been given credit. This is proof of your contribution (and attempt) to make that company a better place.
I have 2 important questions:
Do the managers come from a diverse background?
Was the review panel also diverse? If not, this is also a big issue.
I know you said you quit, but I suggest writing some type of report that captures YOUR recommendations on how they can do better going forward. Maybe devise like a short and long term plan, rough outline of milestones or necessary actions. Hand this to your manager ands say that: "Reminder that diversity is important and is beneficial to every organization. This is what needs to be done, otherwise everything we've done so far will have been for nothing. I also need your support and trust in my recommendations, because I can't do this alone." (Adjust as needed!)
I hope this helps! I wish you the best! :)
Laura McCannDriving results through people engagement
325
09/09/20 at 8:36PM UTC
Love the idea of writing a report or summary of all the work with recommendations! Such a great idea! It also allows you to quantify the impact of your DEI group.
Anonymous
09/07/20 at 1:23AM UTC (Edited)
Well, you, your boss and management have *all* erred.
Your boss’s reaction to your DEI work (“people only do it to get noticed,”) is pretty much a disparagement of POC, LGBTQ, old/young workers, religious and ethnic minorities— essentially everyone covered by anti-discrimination laws. Your boss’s comments might also be putting your company at legal risk if one or more employees allege discrimination.
Management is wrong because they’ve devalued the DEI workgroup and those who staffed it. Either the DEI work is valued or it isn’t. As the group’s chair and key worker, your contribution should be praised and honored tangibly. If your work doesn’t warrant a raise, it should rate a one-time bonus or other meaningful reward, such as additional time off or a trip or expensive dinner on the company. If your company is in financial distress, there still could be a meeting dedicated to honoring you and the DEI group.
At the same time, your leaving the DEI effort makes you look like a quitter who works on a purely transactional basis (“Pay me more or I won’t do it.”) That attitude mirrors your boss’s coldness and doesn’t serve you or the company well.
Your boss, company management, you and your fellow employees need to be treating each other with more respect and collaboration. If this isn’t possible, you might want to seek greener pastures.
Anonymous
09/08/20 at 2:35AM UTC
She used the leverage available to her and made a thoughtful and reasonable decision given the circumstances. Leaving the (uncompensated, mostly ignored) DEI role to focus on the job she was hired for was the right call.
Might they not like that she prefers not to work for free? Probably. But that's not their choice. Once they have burned through all the free labor that people have generously offered for the DEI role, they will have to decide whether the work is critical enough to their operation to actually pay people to perform it.
Actions reflect priorities. This will push them to quit with the empty platitudes and demonstrate how much they value this scope of work (and thus the people performing it).
Anonymous
09/07/20 at 2:43PM UTC
Thanks for your comment. I have to say, I do not see myself as a quitter in this situation. Again, this work is outside of the scope of my actual role, and I was repeatedly told that it is extracurricular/not on par with the work I do for my “regular” job. I gave them a year’s worth of labor. If they cannot carry on this work without me, that seems like an organizational issue, not a result of my personal work ethic.
Anonymous
09/11/20 at 12:33AM UTC (Edited)
My reference to being a “quitter” was solely in reference to your leaving the work group after your boss’s adverse comments. While I agree that your boss was out of line, leaving the work group at that juncture was not a constructive response and helped to perpetuate the negative dynamic started by your boss.
A better response would have been to say that you and the company believed the DEI work is valuable, to tell your boss that her characterization was unfair and unwarranted, and to report your boss’s words to HR or to any executives responsible for the DEI work.
That said, you were gracious to have returned to the DEI group, your company was wrong not to have provided you and your DEI colleagues with tangible thanks, and you did provide substantial service to your company in a voluntary capacity.
It’s a shame that your company did not do more to tangibly recognize the valuable work you were doing in the DEI group.
Anonymous
09/07/20 at 1:14PM UTC
So what exactly do you suggest? She is not seen as a quitter in my opinion bc she didn’t drop her responsibilities at first blush. She took the mature route by actually engaging in conversation.
Amy BarzdukasTech marketing leader
249
09/06/20 at 7:13PM UTC
Sounds like a lot of misses here. One thing to remember, though, is that if you are hired to code software, say, and it turns out that you are not really good at coding, all the great inclusion work won’t change that fact. With a passion for DEI you’ll be an asset anywhere - but look to get those responsibilities in your charter so you’ll get the “credit.”
Beverly DowEast Coast Nurse Informatic
31
09/06/20 at 5:37PM UTC (Edited)
I think you should polish and update your resume, as needed, and start looking for a another position immediately.
I, too, am a POC. I was hired for a position I took because the department head who recruited me promised to cross-train me in another aspect of the job I wanted badly to start doing in order to stay relevant. I more than fulfilled my position, plus I cross-trained my colleagues within our department to cover for each other in order for us to seamlessly be able to have time off. I rose to all occassions as our CIO kept raising the bar, giving me additional responsibilities, expanding my role beyond the one for which I was initially hired. Meanwhile, my department head did not hold up her end of the deal to cross-train me as promised when she'd hired me. After requesting a raise to compensate for my expanded position and being flatly denied, I planned my escape by lining up vacation time to coincide with interviews I'd lined up with various recruiters. By the time, I landed my dream job, I was able to give notice in a more than timely manner, and was on sanctioned vacation from my old position while onboarding in my new position. Part of a healthy work-life balance is knowing when it's time to leave - especially if your needs are not being met. Good luck, and hang in there; you're already motivated to get what you deserve. Go for it!
Anonymous
09/06/20 at 3:56PM UTC
Yup, sounds about right! Small nonprofits with a lack of vision and ingrained systemic racism that they're afraid to talk about. Run...you're amazing and made for bigger and better ?
Linda Quarshie"What you think, you become" - Buddha
93
09/06/20 at 2:29PM UTC
*can be petty. Sorry for the typo.
Angela McEnteeManual software tester
27
09/06/20 at 2:17PM UTC (Edited)
You sound like an extremely intelligent, innovative and hardworking individual. The fact that you not only started the DEI work group, and ran it, and that Mgmt freaked out when you were going to step down speaks volumes. They know your worth but are too cheap to pay you for it. The best thing you can do is to start looking for your next better opportunity. You have a lot to offer and i don't believe your current co is going to change. (Look how they acted when they wanted you to keep working with the group! They came back with no concessions, no compromises) It’s always easier to get a new job when you are still working . I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a better place to be soon.
Anonymous
09/06/20 at 2:16PM UTC
It sounds like you work for an organization that likes optics more than it likes authenticity. Good for you for demanding better. As to what you should do now that they've rejected your proposal, only you can answer. I do know that sometimes people (and organizations) will say or do one thing that tells us everything we need to know about them.
Tammy Port, CMP, CMM
36
09/06/20 at 2:09PM UTC
I read an awesome article about resource groups and DEI groups (I wish I could find it to share it.) It outlines that this important work is often unpaid and expected to be done on top of the usual work load. They noted how the burden of advancing the initiatives of these groups often fall to the groups themselves, with little resources, budget, and no compensation for the extra work. Yet corporations love to highlight that they have Brags/ERGs/DEI when it comes to a CSR report or when recruiting talent. As a past WBRG leader, I feel for you and I'm sorry the company is treating you this way.
Linda Quarshie"What you think, you become" - Buddha
93
09/06/20 at 2PM UTC
I will suggest you start looking for another job while you still have this one, it is always good to have an option B especially if you feel you have a ? on your back. Secondly, knowing they had asked you to reconsider once. I am not an HR person but management are people too, and people can’t be petty.
I empathize with you but good luck. ?
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.