I want to share this. It may be something that has already been posted. This really resonates with me.....
The Seven Stages of Grief for Job Loss
If you have ever lost a loved one, you may be familiar with the grieving process. A common model is the seven stages of grief, and according to psychologists, a person commonly travels through all these stages with the death of someone close.
Job loss, especially a position which had become an enormous part of your life, can be nearly as devastating. The emotional cost can greatly impact moving on to find another position, result in family and relationship problems, and make the financial stress even worse. Some jobs are just jobs; others are a mirror of your self-worth, a means to connect with a professional world, and how you maintain the lifestyle you want and have worked for.
Grief moves through these seven stages:
· Shock and denial – disbelief, deny the reality of the situation, “this can’t be happening to me”
· Pain and guilt – extreme pain at your loss, remorse for what you did/did not do
· Anger and bargaining – lash out, assess blame, ask “why me?”, bargain with higher powers
· Depression, reflection and loneliness – period of sad reflection, realize the magnitude of your loss, believe that nothing will ever be the same
· The upward turn – start to adjust, become calmer, physical symptoms lessen
· Reconstruction and working through – become more functional, start to seek solutions and deal with practical problems
· Acceptance and hope – adjust to your new reality and ready to move ahead
If you have ever lost a job, these stages probably sound familiar. Many are shocked when they find out they are being let go; often an employee has no warning at all. When the shock wears off, pain sets in. You are leaving behind coworkers, familiar tasks, an organizational structure you have learned to navigate. The questions about what you could have done differently start to arise. You become angry at the situation in which you find yourself. You don’t deserve this! From there, depression and sadness set in, followed by better feelings and the beginning of a new reality. The last stage, regaining hope, is your goal.
Getting from stage one to stage seven is undoubtedly difficult, as anyone who has been through job transition can tell you. One of the best ways to get through is to have someone to help navigate the search process and keep moving forward. An outplacement counselor is especially helpful for a long-term employee being let go – those employees have been out of the employment market and likely have no idea how to even begin looking for a new place to land. A friendly face and on-target career guidance can make the difference between a three-month job search and one that takes years, which is beneficial for both the new job candidate and the former employer.
The seven stages of grief apply to both personal loss and job loss, but neither has to be more painful than necessary with good counseling. Get help when you need it.
My own thoughts: The last statement: Get help when you need it....sometimes I think it can be very difficult to discern when you need help. What has been helpful to me is to have a couple close friends and my husband to whom I can vent to and receive feedback. I am not seeking professional help through a therapist because I don't have the money to pay for one when I am unemployed. I seek a balance and since I love to cook and bake this is what I do. It relaxes me, gives my brain a rest. Online jigsaw puzzles are a recent find that also help me.
I have found myself to go between the 7 stages of grief for job loss. It is not a linear process for me. Some days are very good and productive days. Others can be filled with self-doubt and questioning myself and my career goals. I am a work in progress though and I am getting closer to my goal of employment and I will expand myself into other avenues possibly through my baking projects. I am hopeful and I am optimistic.
Browse recent posts
About a month ago I was let go from a position for violating HIPAA (accidental form checking in my training) and for being "too slow".
I am over 60 btw. I took an alternate to the posiition I had applied for because of the information given to me, which, I quickly learned, was an out and out lie. I needed employment at the time, but I do think they were gunning for me from the get go, as they let me go the week before my 90 days were up. I have seen so many dysfunctional medical practices out there and wonder if I should just forget about trying to work in one at all. Are any of them not toxically positive, as this place was, or just some other nightmare?
0 Likes • 0 Comments
Hi All - I wanted to share about a substack I'm writing called Memoirs of a Working Girl.
Personal work and life ruminations, critiques, and commentary.
I wanted to share in case anyone was looking for a fun read:
*please let me know if such a post is not allowed
0 Likes • 0 Comments
I struggle with some challenges in self-worth based on others perceptions. While i'm working on it - it will be a lifelong challenge.
I was hoping for some insight. I started at an organization that it didn't take long to see that it was a toxic work environment. I was seen as a threat by the sales team, and for the five years I was there, I had my ideas stolen, I was challenged at every turn, thrown under the bus and bullied. But let me say - I wasn't alone. They didn't treat anyone in the organization with respect, and unfortunatley upper management failed to address it.
Anyway - I brought in millions of dollars, and the ownership knew that, even though the sales team did all they could to sabotage the data within the CRM - again, management failed to address it. Fast forward, the company is sold. The new company has its own Marketing in another country, and the new leader has NO idea about marketing or how it works. Even though the prior owner told them Marketing was the secret sauce to their success.
I'm out of a job because the new leader was given incorrect data and not all of the data and she didn't feel it was worth it to keep me around. Never once did she ask for my insight, my thoughts on how to get the new brand off and running. She didn't want to hear anything from me. Mind you I had been given free reign to do what I needed to do after submission of my marketing strategy, planning and budget was approved for the year - the new owner micromanged me to death. But again, I wasn't the only one.
In the six months she had me stop doing what I was doing, sales rapidly declined. In the months following my departure it increased, and she didn't understand why it was so slow I was told. Its been almost a year and there is no newly branded website, the sales team doesn't have business cards, no marketing AT ALL has been done. She did hire a contractor that used to work for me back on a project basis to help refresh the website (basically do what I told her she should do), but the cost is minimal.
Why do I feel so rejected that I was the ONLY one to be let go. After all the abuse I had taken and the success I created, despite being loved by everyone else except the sales team, i'm the only one without a job.
If I look back, I can see where she was setting me up to be let go. So I was on the cutting block since day one.
I have to wonder is it this leaders ignorance, or did the sales team have me ousted and she believe them? The biggest scam artist got promoted. I would think maybe she had influence, but it turns out she's being micromanaged way beyond what I was. The new leader is basically telling everyone how to jump, when to jump and how high. If you don't wait for her direction, there will be hell to pay.
3 Likes • 7 Comments
I have been interviewing since April.
I am working but I am making about $15,000 less then I was.
I have been over-qualified for positions but I am not getting hired.
Now, not sure if it is my age, I am 60 but look 50. Truly do!! Been blessed.
I think I blow it in the interview. I get very nervous for some reason. I don't know what I am doing wrong! You would think after all the interviews I would feel comfortable or used to them.
Does anyone have any hints for interviewing? All of mine have been over Zoom or Teams. Thank you!
2 Likes • 3 Comments
I made a small error at work.
No harm was done. I placed a message that a patient needed blood work on the wrong chart. This was questioned by my manager. Upon reviewing the chart, I realized my error and the patient never had the blood work done.
I am concerned this could become a written warning. If it is a written warning I plan to request it be a teachable moment instead of a warning since no harm was done. Any other advice on how to handle this?
My manager who spoke to me about this issue has made two huge mistakes that I am aware of. If this becomes a written warning should I question if her errors were also written warnings?
3 Likes • 18 Comments
Can I even negotiate pay at this point?
I entered into an interview process after knowing their comp range which was below what I desired. When they asked if the salary range would work for me, I said it was below my desired range but am interested in learning more. I thought perhaps learning the total comp package would make it better but it didn't. For reference, this is a very large private university, not a small business. After learning more about the role, it's clear that the responsibilities are way higher than the title calls for (I'm very confident of this). This role title would be a "step down" for me but the responsibilities match, or perhaps exceed, my current role.
It's a new role they created and frankly, I'm not sure they know exactly what they want/need. I honestly don't know how many folks would do that job with those responsibilities for that price. It seems like an easy "PASS" and move on but I met the whole team and they are so wonderful.
Here I am at the job offer; can I even negotiate a higher salary considering they told me salary is $XYZ - $XYZ? If so... how? What the heck do I say? This people-pleasing gal is stumped.