Thrown under the bus and need advice!
I’ve been working on a high stress project with a Director from a different department for about 2 months now. She is known to be challenging to work with, but up until this week I seemed to get along with her better than most people. My boss asked me to help with another urgent project that is due on Friday and I informed the Director that I would be less responsive than normal because of this other project. She said she completely understood.
Hours later she emailed me asking for a status update on the project we were working on. I didn’t respond right away, but provided an update. Then later that afternoon she sends an urgent email saying that she needs me to compile some data for her by the end of the week. The next morning, I provide her with an update in an attempt to get ahead of any asks she may send my way. She again asks for multiple status updates as the day progresses. Then her boss emailed my boss and asked him to designate someone to provide them necessary support and that I need to send daily updates (which I had already been doing).
That same day the Director emailed me and copied 10 other regional leaders, asking me to account for discrepancies in data she had received from her Regional leader. The implication was that it was my fault there was inconsistent data. I didn’t appreciate being thrown under the bus and in such a public way. I calmly responded that the data discrepancy was because her leader was using an outdated report. She emailed me separately, saying thanks. But never responded to the group.
Ultimately after months of being super responsive to her, the moment I put some boundaries in place she went above me and threw me under the bus.
I really don’t like confrontation and try to take the high road, but I am wondering if I need to address this with her? She’s in a more senior position than me so I’m not sure if this is a smart move. Should I just let it go and move on? Any advice would be much appreciated!
Browse recent posts
Sunday Scaries "wine session" - After being in the the same career for over 18 years, including one position for 8 years with 2 promotions, in 2017 I left that field and have been trying to figure out what I have wanted ever since.
I have tried a career coach, volunteering, upskilling, networking . . . and am currently in therapy . . . nothing is sticking. I have switched roles 6 times in 6 years. I have also done freelancing and tried starting my own business. And the job I have now is sucking the life out of me. I have only been there for 9 months.
Not one to whine . . . and yet here I am.
I can see the appeal of a mindless job that just pays the bills and I never have to think about a "career" again . . . am I giving up??
0 Likes • 1 Comment
I live in rural West Virginia, master's level counselor/therapist with lots of experience and great references, but no license.
I'm 76 years old: too old to go back to school for 2 years and then do the 3000 hours of supervision. I work remotely for a toxic company; along with others haven't been paid in over 2 months. I love helping my clients but the $$$ issue is eating away at my peace of mind. I've interviewed several places, but lack of licensure is a hurdle. Ideas on how to get out of this trap really appreciated.
0 Likes • 6 Comments
For those who identify as female, what “traditions” exist today within the world of work that need to be removed or updated?
For background, I'm a cisgender white male looking to find ways to become a stronger ally through action and priviledge.
1 Like • 2 Comments
Any advice on how to generate writing samples for a content writer position if you are transitioning from another career path?
(I am a transitioning English teacher, so I have plenty of writing experience, but nothing that would be suitable for a writing sample.)
0 Likes • 4 Comments
Why is that we are not allowed to bring up salary until after offer acceptance, but yet companies can ask what the range is that we are looking for right in the application?
How is that legal? If it's not a numerically required field, what is the best verbiage for how to get around it?
0 Likes • 8 Comments
I have a bossy coworker (male) who has usurped by (female) boss's authority previously, and attempted to do it again today.
He has derailed work meetings by questioning me, and my boss doesn't interfere or interrupt at all. She didn't question his previous action, which basically took a job duty away from me and appropriated it for himself. I asked her about it, and whether it was permanent. She indicated (vaguely) that it wasn't, but she didn't seem too worried about it. It was his area of expertise, so I let it go. If he wants to reduce my workload, I'll just spend that time posting to FGB!
He sent an email today, cc'ing her, and gave me some orders outside of his wheelhouse. I spent at least an hour writing a draft that detailed my level of knowledge and how I didn't need to do what he insisted on, then decided to simply say I'll do whatever our boss says in a reply-all response.
The other email would have been sent to my boss's boss and someone else in the organization who supervises my stakeholders, and the supervisor of my stakeholders.... and I wanted to cc' others as well.
But I felt that would have been a jerk move response to a jerk move.
I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself and keeping it brief, but now I know I really need to discuss it with my boss, and she doesn't have time for this nonsense.
What would your next step be, hive mind?
2 Likes • 7 Comments
Share your insight
Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.