Get over dejection, stay motivated and don't lose hope

Question

Like many out there, I have been a casualty of Covid on the professional front. The startup I was working at lost it's funding and had to close shop.  I've been looking/applying/interviewing rigorously for the last few months.  Going to all the job boards, applying to anything that looks interesting or is a fit, researching each company as if it's THE job interview you have to nail.  It's the same song and dance, the same script, the same marketing and selling yourself.  How do you stay motivated?  For the last few weeks, I've been told 'we are in the final rounds, you're one of 2 top candidates, we'll get back to you shortly'.  The next few days go by and you get THE call.  'We are so sorry, but we have decided to go with the other candidate.  They had more experience than you in x area.  It was a really tough decision.  Wish you luck in your job hunt'.  You muster out 'thank you for getting back to me and for the opportunity.  The position needs to be filled by the best fit for the company.  Let's stay connected on LinkedIn.'.   Just the past day, my husband told me, don't lose hope, then it's all over.  Stay positive.  The best you can do is apply and search and interview.  I'm honestly tired and exhausted and then feel guilty about it.  Shouldn't I be motivated to get a new job and keep going and help with the mortgage and the kids?  My mind is saying one thing and my body is saying something completely opposite.

Anonymous · Answer

You've got to give yourself a break....it's ok to feel down. It's honest and real to be tired and exhausted and to feel guilty. There is a mental health crisis in part because so many people are without work and don't feel in control of their lives. However, sometimes you can just feel tired and angry about hearing other people say it's going to get better. Your husband sounds like he's trying to be helpful but I can imagine it's not necessarily what you want -- maybe just a big hug and a glass of wine. And a massage =).

Hang in there. I'm not going to tell you to stay positive but I am glad you were able to share and get some stuff off your chest. For what it's worth, I've been in your shoes....it is just not easy. But I ended up finding a job and a different kind of life and career which I couldn't imagine I could have ever had, if it were not for the fact that I not lost my previous job.

Cathy Colliver · Answer

It’s good to take a break and do something that gives you energy and joy. It recharges you for getting back to the work that is finding work in a weird economy and job market. Build in time to charge yourself up in the morning and another break later on to recharge.

Amy and Nancy Harrington · Answer

It's such a difficult time because any setback we face is compounded by all of the stress of the day to day world. We are so sorry you're going through this. We do feel that your husband's advice is right but we totally understand that some days that's easier said than done. Wishing you the best of luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Looking for a job is tough under normal circumstances, but with COVID-19, it’s even more challenging.  There are peaks and valleys with the process, which is a long distance run ??‍♀️ and not a sprint. Take care to employ self care so that you give your body and mind time to decompress and destress. It’s important to take walks and get some exercise to manage the stress of all of this activity. There will be a series of “no’s”  before you get to yes, it’s the process and nothing that you are doing wrong.  What’s vitally important and true is to maintain positivity, you want perspective teams and leaders see you at your most confident and ready state. You are resilient and look back to where you have come from and know that it’s all preparation for where you are headed!

Amy Pasquale · Answer

Heartbreaking to read this.  I just want to pipe in and say you are doing great!

Sheila Haslam · Answer

The times when we “need” a job  always weigh hardest on us. I have decided to look at it from a different prospective. I get excited about what the outcome will be. Where will I end up working? Will this be the one? What will I end up doing?  Put on an outfit that makes you feel confident. Then you go in and interview them. Ask what does the day in the life of a “insert job title here” look like. How do you let employees know that they are doing a good job?  If your job field includes interviews with behavioral/situational  type questions then be prepared to answer those. For example: Tell me about a time when you found yourself in disagreement with your supervisor and how did you handle the situation.  The more prepared, confident, and “positive “ you present yourself the better your odds.  I have interviewed 100’s of candidates over the last 25 years. I can spot my next hire almost instantly based on these 3 characteristics.  You got this, when it is your door it will open. Think of this as an adventure.

Serena · Answer

I could have wrote this myself! You are not alone. I keep taking periods of time to do things for me- mental reset- mediate, do something like acupuncture, take time to be outdoors, do whatever you can to just take a mental break from applying and interviewing. It is exhausting! I think we will see more of the job market open up late December and early 2021.

Diana Morales-Hernandez · Answer

Anonymous,

First of all... Give yourself a big round of applause, pat in the back, an enormous hug, and a nice wine and cheese night because, SERIOUSLY, you are such an asset that you were called for MANY interviews!!! You know how impressive and amazing that is?! You should be extremely proud of yourself that you have come that far in a very long/tedious process and you are one of the last candidates still standing. They don't call and keep just anyone around!!! They kept YOU around!!!! They wanted you in their team!!! That is incredible!!!

Second, I hear you. It is so incredibly overwhelming to keep going and stay motivated. I know that because you have a family this is a bit harder but try to have 15 min for yourself when you wake up and if possible, before you go to sleep. Listen to a podcast, draw, read, listen to music, journal, meditate, do something for your mental well-being. What you want to avoid is going in circles inside your head of 'I'm still stuck. I can't close the deal and get a job. I wont be able to provide for family, etc,' because those cycling believes will eat you alive. Like my fellow FGB's suggested, take some time to charge up but also, give yourself some time to enjoy your alone time without the worry. If the amount of job interviews you have had is any indication of what is to come, you won't be without a job for long. In the meantime, take your mini breaks and reflect on how far you have come. LOOK AT YOU!!! You are at the home stretch!

Much love to you and your family.

Get over dejection, stay motivated and don't lose hope

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