Boss crossing work at home boundaries

Question

Hi, I have an office job and the head of finance, my boss, has had a hard time with this work at home order.  She likes to know what everyone is working on, there for she calls me 10-12 times a day, even when a simple email will suffice, and lots of times she’ll reply to and email, then call me as well which is not necessary.  We’ve been in a really crunch time with hard deadlines so I’ve been working all hours.  Most of the time I don’t let her know I’m working after hours because I’m just trying to catch up and I’m afraid she’ll call me and bother me.  Is there anything I can say to re set the boundaries?  I don’t want to be called at 7 pm when I’m cooking dinner, or on a Sunday when I’m relaxing.  And this is happening way too much.  She’s older, as am I, but she’s older than I.  I’ve never worked in an environment like this but I know everyone is under stress due to COVID.  Thanks.

Rebecca Lee V · Answer

COVID has made working from home different than before. Not answering her messages after 5 or on weekends is key. If she questions why you aren't getting back to her, gently explain your work hours and even though you're working from home it doesn't mean 24/7. You need time for your family and to relax.

So many leaders who've never worked from home thinks it means you can work whenever. It doesn't. This also screams of micromanaging and she doesn't trust you to get your job done.

Jackie Ghedine · Answer

I would approach this situation by not reading into your boss' intent. So many times we apply meaning to situations and circumstances that actually aren't true.  Your boss may be under a lot of pressure and feel out of control so connecting with you several times a day is how she's coping.

I would suggest having a direct conversation with your boss and set aside time ahead of time to do this.  Clearly state your boundaries, 'I understand the demands and deadlines we are up against for this quarter (whatever you're working on) however, I need to make sure that I'm setting boundaries between work and home and would like to discuss how we can do that better so we can both rejuvenate to be most efficient at work.  My plan is to turn off my phone at 6 at night and turn off work on the weekends. I would like to have your support in trying to do this.'

Good luck.

Cap024 · Answer

I’ve been micromanaged a number of times and home and had a situation similar to yours where my boss did not know boundaries.  If you have any regular one on one times you should discuss the remote expectations that she  and you both have.  I agree to make it a point not to answer your phone or emails after 5 or 5:30, or whatever time is your normal schedule hours.

Ranjani Krishnamurthy · Answer

This is a bane for most of the women working from home, especially those who have to manage household chores as well. The scrum calls, the virtual stand up meetings sometimes eat well into our normal working hours which would lead to work hours extending beyond 7pm and spilling over into weekends too. There is no universal way to address it, but I feel it can, at least to some extent, be worked out between the reporting manager/ boss and self on an individual level.

Kristen at AAHRC, LLC. · Answer

I think she needs to understand/be reminded how you work best and sometimes reminding people of your preferences in order to do your best work helps a lot. I often times tell my clients to start sentences out with 'I would like' instead of 'I want' because it lands differently. For example 'I would like it if we could have time on the calendar 1-2x a week (A MOST!) to go over projects, progress and the upcoming plans. I am finding it difficult to stop and start when picking up the phone/responding to your requests as it impedes my momentum.' Of course emergencies or deadlines will creep up and you'll need to talk ASAP but setting clear limits and CLEAR boundaries are important. Ask what the expectation is for the weekend and post-business hours for responding.  You are entitled to your private life so you can recharge, so that you can then return to work in order to be your best self/the best employee you can be, which is really what your boss wants/needs. Remain curious and ask - maybe resetting the tone will help. I can relate to this...if others are feeling inadequate, I feel they try to regain a sense of control by trying to get a grasp on what others are doing to see if they are on their own right track. It seems like she is disorganized, insecure and a micromanager. Remind her with kindness and professionalism that you her, but a structured communication plan would be what would benefit your relationship most. Ask her what she thinks of that, and maybe you can meet in the middle. Best of luck!

Lena · Answer

Can you try to set up a specific time of day to keep her informed? Maybe at the beginning of the day or the end of the day. She can see your progress. Maybe ask her what her ideal communication would be. It sounds like she is disorganized.

Laney Balis · Answer

What if you set up a 1/1 call with her once a week? Do you think that is an option? It should keep her from calling a dozen times a day to check in and should help ease her anxiety about not having a 'view' of what is going on.

Anonymous · Answer

I had a similar micromanagement situation... which devolved into my manager actually being hostile toward me after I approached him to set boundaries. He began making underhanded comments to me or about me in meetings, threatening to dock me in my performance review because I wasn't a team player (for ending the day on time, in order to attend to something for my daughter). I definitely agree with the others - choose the right time and do it 1:1 t, with a plan as to how you want to communicate with her, or the hours that you are available, but not knowing your boss personally, be aware of potential negative feedback. I ended up having to go to HR it got so bad! I really hope a simple conversation will put the situation right for you.

Anonymous · Answer

My boss micromanages as well. I tried to manage this by sending her a weekly agenda to let her know what my priorities were and if there were any additions I should consider.  
Unfortunately after that every time she asked me to pivot and switch to another task she mentioned how 'overwhelmed' I was.  The word 'overwhelmed' was used with negative connotations.  
It was really discouraging and I stopped sending updates.  My point in sending the agenda was to 1) let my boss know what I was doing so she wouldn't have to check in with me so often 2) create awareness of my workload 3) set boundaries for additional tasks.

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