Leave your emotional baggage from your last toxic work environment behind
June 25,2020 at 10:45AM UTC
While speaking with a newer coworker yesterday, I wasn't surprised to hear about her negative experiences with our boss. We have a challenging boss, and the rest of us just deal with it. This person however, came from a highly toxic work environment fraught with gossip and a mean-spirited boss.
The weird antics of our boss have caused her a lot of anxiety and tears already. I felt bad. I tried to explain what I have learned about this unique personality, and how I handle her.
She was on my heart for the rest of the day. It occured to me that this is like being in a bad relationship, and then having it affect your new life. When you start a new job you want to impress and show that you are right for the job, and being led to believe there are doubts can be upsetting. Thinking that the behaviors are the same as your last experience should not be the automatic response though. Our boss is weird, but it's not so much about being awful to others, but has to do with how she perceives things and mistrusts everyone. In short, she is like that to everyone, dont take it personal. The rest of us do what needs to be done, and occasionally have to do stupid things to appease her. Unfortunately this person is her assistant, so much closer to her than we are. I offered to be a resource for her whenever she needs help, or just a listening ear.
This may not be the right environment for her if she cant learn the personality of our boss, but it seems like her past experiences have made this harder for her.
Yes, our past experiences teach us and they dont go away. I would say that not all people are the same, and to give it time to get used to people. If its still not working, then absolutely find something else.
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Hi all - ok this is a first.
The new boss, promoted from within, and I are a bad fit, to put it mildly. I put in my two weeks’ notice, and she replied that I could leave tomorrow.
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Still, I have a good plan for leaving, and as you can tell from the above description of her, any discussion is going to go badly.
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