Leave your emotional baggage from your last toxic work environment behind
While speaking with a newer coworker yesterday, I wasn't surprised to hear about her negative experiences with our boss. We have a challenging boss, and the rest of us just deal with it. This person however, came from a highly toxic work environment fraught with gossip and a mean-spirited boss.
The weird antics of our boss have caused her a lot of anxiety and tears already. I felt bad. I tried to explain what I have learned about this unique personality, and how I handle her.
She was on my heart for the rest of the day. It occured to me that this is like being in a bad relationship, and then having it affect your new life. When you start a new job you want to impress and show that you are right for the job, and being led to believe there are doubts can be upsetting. Thinking that the behaviors are the same as your last experience should not be the automatic response though. Our boss is weird, but it's not so much about being awful to others, but has to do with how she perceives things and mistrusts everyone. In short, she is like that to everyone, dont take it personal. The rest of us do what needs to be done, and occasionally have to do stupid things to appease her. Unfortunately this person is her assistant, so much closer to her than we are. I offered to be a resource for her whenever she needs help, or just a listening ear.
This may not be the right environment for her if she cant learn the personality of our boss, but it seems like her past experiences have made this harder for her.
Yes, our past experiences teach us and they dont go away. I would say that not all people are the same, and to give it time to get used to people. If its still not working, then absolutely find something else.
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Hello!
My manager, the second one I’ve had in my 2 years in this position, is leaving.
Ok, so my organization is great- great people, work-life balance, benefits, etc. However, since I’ve been there (will be 2 years in November), both of my managers i had have/are going to leave for really great opportunities outside of our org. While I’m super happy for them, i am concerned about how it’ll potentially impact my career growth. I’d still be doing the same work just reporting to new people, which may change as they hire on a replacement. Which is annoying to start the manager/employee relationship all over again.
My manager is leaving in a few weeks and is invested in making sure there’s a plan in place for who i report to when they’re gone. I guess my question is what would you ask them/consider during this transition phase? I was hoping to start the “it’s been 2 years, I’d like a raise or at least something to help with inflation” conversation but I hate doing this, it’s always so awkward. At the same time, it may be best to get the ball rolling on that to see what can be done prior to my manager leaving?
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Hi all - ok this is a first.
The new boss, promoted from within, and I are a bad fit, to put it mildly. I put in my two weeks’ notice, and she replied that I could leave tomorrow.
Here’s the twist: I WANT to stay for two weeks, to put files in order, to coordinate with co-workers the processes for future events, and to finish setting up a Dropbox account for my department. Most of all, I work in a retirement community, and want to ease these beloved residents into the knowledge that their trusted friend is leaving them in good hands. They just lost the last ED without notice and took it badly.
This new boss rules with a cudgel. She starts all discussions with No you can’t do that. She changes my plans on ginned-up reasons (e.g. she canceled my bus trip due to “insurance changes” which had nothing to do with the trip). She lays down the law, and when advised of an error, she doubles down and tries to blame the victim of her error. She refers to staff members as “bodies,” and cares for the residents based on the level of their rent checks. I can’t get away from her fast enough.
Still, I have a good plan for leaving, and as you can tell from the above description of her, any discussion is going to go badly.
any and all advice is much appreciated!
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