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Toxic work environment but good mat leave
Hi! I’m considering a job change but I have a dilemma. I’m pregnant and the new job would provide less maternity coverage (probably 3 months vs the 5 months I receive today). My current work environment is toxic and I’m being asked to deliver on unrealistic expectations with limited resources. It’s definitely impacting my health, but having extra time off with my little one is a benefit. Any thoughts or opinions based on experience?
Anonymous
11/26/20 at 2:18PM UTC
You should come first, if you as the mom are stressed or unhappy it will impact your family. I agree with other posters who may be able to negotiate more time off or a mix of paid/unpaid leave. If the new company values you they will work with you to find a solution. I was in a similar situation however much closer to due date (3-4 weeks) and the company and I decided to wait until after maternity leave due to health insurance snd time for impacting new job before leave. Best of luck to you!
Rachael
Mindset Coach for Burnt Out High Achievers
24
11/21/20 at 4:45PM UTC
Hey there! Working in a toxic work environment is rough so I feel for you. Here are a few thoughts to consider...
Would you feel comfortable setting boundaries within your current work environment and push back on the unrealistic expectations? (You definitely want to put yourself first, especially since it's affecting your health while you're pregnant).
Is it possible to negotiate a longer maternity leave with the other employer? Or can you afford to take a few extra months unpaid?
From my perspective, it seems like this is a really important time to prioritize your health and put yourself first. So I would empower you to do whatever is going to make you happy and healthy for your baby.
SerenaAccount Manager
211
11/20/20 at 2:33AM UTC
I was in a very similar situation and ultimately it was very much worth the extra time with the baby and money of mat leave. You may even be happier going back to the place you have already established your relationship work rather than feeling pressure of a new company. You can always start job searching towards the end of your mat leave. The most important thing is to keep your stress down and know your health and baby's health takes priority. If you feel that its really taking a toll, then definitely not worth the two months. Its a struggle but as soon as your little one gets here, it will be worth it. Hang in there!
Anonymous
11/19/20 at 10:03PM UTC
If you decide to stick it out for the time being, you owe it to yourself and your current employer to raise your concerns about toxicity and unrealistic expectations. You could discuss your concerns with HR and then ask to have a joint conversation with your manager and HR. The most effective approach is to document a brief summary of your concerns. It helps organize your concerns and helps to better focus on facts over emotions. You might list your current responsibilities and attempt a more realistic prioritization of tasks in consultation with HR. Good luck!
Farah BajwaManager | Mentor | Consultant | Coach
338
11/17/20 at 10:19PM UTC
You already have your current job in your pocket, so I suggest having a conversation with the job you want. Tell them you really want the role and invite them to work with you on how you can acquire more time off. Remember, if they offered you the job it means they want you and everything after that is a negotiation. If you show that you're willing to work with them, I'm sure there can be a compromise. I do this regarding vacation time with every new job I am offered.
Patti
48
11/17/20 at 6:21PM UTC
Here is my take. I was never pregnant in my over the top stressful position. Always find ways to disengage from the stress and drama. Make appointments or meetings to get away from the stress. I know your going to have doctor appointment etc. make them either at the beginning of the day or before you leave. It gives you extra time to be away. If you can work from home on anything. Ask to take some things home to work on to get you away from the environment. Say you have to pick up something. Use your condition to your advantage. I recommend breathing exercises to let go of any toxic energy.
I was in a very toxic work environment and making appointments close to leaving time was always a bonus. Try to make it up with working from home? I was taking walks when I got home and also salt baths and meditation and breathe work. A lot of the people I worked with all had physical conditions. Which comes from toxic environments.
We all need to be mindful of bad energy. I hope this helps. Many blessing to you and your new one.
Brooke Davidson HoareauTransforming UX for exceptional results
83
11/17/20 at 5:04PM UTC
I would stay for the maternity leave because most companies have a minimum of working hours before you can qualify which at 5 months already would be difficult to meet.
Try to set as many boundaries as you can and also some things just might not get done - so be ok letting a few balls drop. Toward the end of your pregnancy stressors can be very serious and detrimental so - be ok letting go of the negativity surrounding their unrealistic expectations. If something doesn’t get done - you did your best and let go. Don’t feel guilty, don’t ruminate over it, just find peace :)
Anonymous
11/17/20 at 4:53PM UTC
There was a woman in the news a year ago or so who had left her job soon after maternity leave so the company sued her to get the pay back they covered. If you have a great job lined up and you are pregnant (and especially if they know you're pregnant and still want to hire you) take the new job. Don't forget maternity leave ends and then you need an even more supportive work place to juggle being a mom. Ask new job about other options extra vacation time, unpaid time off, and if they would consider an option for you to transition back after leave where you could come back 3-4 days a week for a few months after a 3 month mat leave, always ask don't leave any option out but do it after the full offer has been made
Meghan
14
11/17/20 at 3:25PM UTC
I was in same spot, and I took the job, and I’m so happy I did. It’s never worth staying - you’ll make it work, and it’s short term gain for long term impact.
Jean
13
11/17/20 at 3:15PM UTC
I was in a similar spot where the maternity leave was great at my current company but the job was toxic. I was early on in my pregnancy and considering staying just for the benefits however I miscarried and quickly learned that I should not make long term career/life decisions based on one benefit. You have to do what is healthy and happy for you long term because that will be what is best for you and your family.
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