Toxic work environment but good mat leave

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Anonymous

11/15/20 at 2:19PM UTC

Career

Toxic work environment but good mat leave

Hi! I’m considering a job change but I have a dilemma. I’m pregnant and the new job would provide less maternity coverage (probably 3 months vs the 5 months I receive today). My current work environment is toxic and I’m being asked to deliver on unrealistic expectations with limited resources. It’s definitely impacting my health, but having extra time off with my little one is a benefit. Any thoughts or opinions based on experience?

25 Comments

Abigail

11/15/20 at 2:30PM UTC

Can you stick it out for the maternity leave and then try to find another job? Maybe negotiate with this other place that you will start once your leave is up and give notice once you're back? That's not so kind to your current place but it sounds like they're not kind to you, and that is really hard.

Deanna

11/15/20 at 2:36PM UTC

If your current job is impacting your health - take the new job. If you have a job offer in hand, negotiate for more time off. You may need to negotiate vacation days vs additional maternity leave based on their company rules. Or you may be able to negotiate a flexible work schedule after the 3 month off that could stretch for 6-12 more months. Get creative.

Beatrice

11/15/20 at 3:12PM UTC

Both of the above-mentioned comments are viable paths that require your confidence and creativity. I've been in your situation, not for the purposes of maternity leave, but as a caregiver. Toxic environments have long-lasting effects, and also impact the health of your baby. Thoughts to consider as you discern which path to take.

User edited comment on 11/15/20 at 3:15PM UTC

Jessica Walker

11/15/20 at 3:55PM UTC

I think it depends on how far along you are in your pregnancy. A few things to consider: Interviewing for a new role during maternity leave (if that ends up being your goal) can be tough. That said, an extra 2 months off is a huge difference for bonding and recovery time! Also, you may be able to take a few weeks off before your due date, which would shorten your time there. Ultimately balance your health and the perks. It sounds like both options offer a significant positive factor so trust your gut on this one!

Liz O.

We don't live to work, we work to live.

11/15/20 at 5:17PM UTC

That's a tough one. No one wants to be in a toxic workplace, and the mental health impacts are often significant. How soon until your due date? And how long have you been with your company? One consideration is if you switch companies, you will not be eligible for FMLA, which provides you job-protection while you're out on leave (a minimum of 12 months with a company and I think 1,230 hours working for them). Depending on what a new company offers you, double-check that you would be eligible for additional maternity leave benefits and that it is not contingent on FMLA eligibility. If it's not available, and you can stick it out, it may be worth it to stay until after your maternity leave, then find a new job elsewhere with a healthy work environment.

1 Reply

Anonymous

11/15/20 at 7:38PM UTC

Due date is early July; so a decent amount of time still.

1 Reply

Kirsten Kraft

Administrative Positions and Technical Writing

11/17/20 at 4:13PM UTC

What state are you in? Will you be working from home?

Anonymous

11/15/20 at 7:18PM UTC

I had a similar situation and chose to stay. I worked to make the best of the situation but also took active measures to build in self-care time. This was hard because in addition to the company posing significant problems, I had a two-hour commute each way. But this was over twenty years ago now and all I remember really is the time with my baby (and knowing I was not going going back after). I had secured my next opportunity and negotiated to start after my maternity leave was complete. But I had to take care of myself and just let the stress of the job roll off my back.

1 Reply

Deborah Goldstein

Major Gift Development Officer in academia

11/17/20 at 1:59PM UTC

100% agree. In the long run, she’ll forget the crappy work environment but not the great time she had bonding with the baby. Making time for self-care is a great idea and knowing that she won’t be there forever will help her get through it.

Miranda N. Prather

11/16/20 at 6:53PM UTC

I'd say take the new if your current situation is truly toxic. A toxic work environment does not help you or your baby.

Robin Troutman

11/17/20 at 1:50PM UTC

I would also say take the new job. If your current position is toxic then I would not be surprised if you were contacted while on maternity leave. I would make sure that the new job will still give you the full maternity benefits as a new employee. Some places may not provide certain benefits until at least 90 days and I have even seen some where it is 6 months or more before you can use extended leave benefits.

Deborah Goldstein

Major Gift Development Officer in academia

11/17/20 at 1:56PM UTC

I recommend sticking it out. You will never regret the extra 2 months with your baby especially since it will be summer and you can go outside. You can also job hunt at that time. By then, you’ll have a good idea of how much time you think your baby will need to be in daycare. You may even find a remote opportunity. Check your HR policy to make sure you can quit shortly after returning. It could happen that you’ll have a new manager by then and not want to quit.

Treasa Fitzgibbon

166

Coach

11/17/20 at 1:59PM UTC

This is really a tough decision and one that unfortunately only you can make. One question I would ask is where you are in your pregnancy right now i.e. how much time before you would actually go on leave. If you are only 2 months pregnant and need to work for another 6 months it would be very hard, and potentially detrimental to your health to stick out your current job, however, if you are 7 months pregnant and can hold out it might be worth it! Also, the most important thing is your health and wellbeing - and this is also what is most important for your child!

Anonymous

11/17/20 at 2:18PM UTC

Definitely check with the new job to find out how long you have to be working there before you're eligible to take maternity leave - because if the answer is a year (common), then you probably don't want to quit your current job to go to one where you aren't eligible for maternity leave at all yet. Good luck with your pregnancy and with your job hunt!

Tiffany

113

11/17/20 at 2:56PM UTC

Only you know what’s truly best for you, but I will say that being in a toxic environment can be harmful to your pregnancy. The stress isn’t good. I was in a similar situation and left. It wasn’t worth it to me to constantly worry if baby was healthy because I was so stressed and fatigued. You may also have the option of negotiating more time off with the new employer. Also, be careful with the advice to stay with your current employer and quit after your mat leave. Depending on your state, your employer may have legal grounds to demand you repay the amount you were paid during your maternity leave if they can prove you had plans to not return.

Jean

11/17/20 at 3:15PM UTC

I was in a similar spot where the maternity leave was great at my current company but the job was toxic. I was early on in my pregnancy and considering staying just for the benefits however I miscarried and quickly learned that I should not make long term career/life decisions based on one benefit. You have to do what is healthy and happy for you long term because that will be what is best for you and your family.

Meghan

11/17/20 at 3:25PM UTC

I was in same spot, and I took the job, and I’m so happy I did. It’s never worth staying - you’ll make it work, and it’s short term gain for long term impact.

Anonymous

11/17/20 at 4:53PM UTC

There was a woman in the news a year ago or so who had left her job soon after maternity leave so the company sued her to get the pay back they covered. If you have a great job lined up and you are pregnant (and especially if they know you're pregnant and still want to hire you) take the new job. Don't forget maternity leave ends and then you need an even more supportive work place to juggle being a mom. Ask new job about other options extra vacation time, unpaid time off, and if they would consider an option for you to transition back after leave where you could come back 3-4 days a week for a few months after a 3 month mat leave, always ask don't leave any option out but do it after the full offer has been made

Brooke Davidson Hoareau

Transforming UX for exceptional results

11/17/20 at 5:04PM UTC

I would stay for the maternity leave because most companies have a minimum of working hours before you can qualify which at 5 months already would be difficult to meet. Try to set as many boundaries as you can and also some things just might not get done - so be ok letting a few balls drop. Toward the end of your pregnancy stressors can be very serious and detrimental so - be ok letting go of the negativity surrounding their unrealistic expectations. If something doesn’t get done - you did your best and let go. Don’t feel guilty, don’t ruminate over it, just find peace :)

Patti

11/17/20 at 6:21PM UTC

Here is my take. I was never pregnant in my over the top stressful position. Always find ways to disengage from the stress and drama. Make appointments or meetings to get away from the stress. I know your going to have doctor appointment etc. make them either at the beginning of the day or before you leave. It gives you extra time to be away. If you can work from home on anything. Ask to take some things home to work on to get you away from the environment. Say you have to pick up something. Use your condition to your advantage. I recommend breathing exercises to let go of any toxic energy. I was in a very toxic work environment and making appointments close to leaving time was always a bonus. Try to make it up with working from home? I was taking walks when I got home and also salt baths and meditation and breathe work. A lot of the people I worked with all had physical conditions. Which comes from toxic environments. We all need to be mindful of bad energy. I hope this helps. Many blessing to you and your new one.

Farah Bajwa

187

Manager | Mentor | Consultant | Coach

11/17/20 at 10:19PM UTC

You already have your current job in your pocket, so I suggest having a conversation with the job you want. Tell them you really want the role and invite them to work with you on how you can acquire more time off. Remember, if they offered you the job it means they want you and everything after that is a negotiation. If you show that you're willing to work with them, I'm sure there can be a compromise. I do this regarding vacation time with every new job I am offered.

Anonymous

11/19/20 at 10:03PM UTC

If you decide to stick it out for the time being, you owe it to yourself and your current employer to raise your concerns about toxicity and unrealistic expectations. You could discuss your concerns with HR and then ask to have a joint conversation with your manager and HR. The most effective approach is to document a brief summary of your concerns. It helps organize your concerns and helps to better focus on facts over emotions. You might list your current responsibilities and attempt a more realistic prioritization of tasks in consultation with HR. Good luck!

Serena

126

Account Manager

11/20/20 at 2:33AM UTC

I was in a very similar situation and ultimately it was very much worth the extra time with the baby and money of mat leave. You may even be happier going back to the place you have already established your relationship work rather than feeling pressure of a new company. You can always start job searching towards the end of your mat leave. The most important thing is to keep your stress down and know your health and baby's health takes priority. If you feel that its really taking a toll, then definitely not worth the two months. Its a struggle but as soon as your little one gets here, it will be worth it. Hang in there!

Rachael

Mindset Coach for Burnt Out High Achievers

11/21/20 at 4:45PM UTC

Hey there! Working in a toxic work environment is rough so I feel for you. Here are a few thoughts to consider... Would you feel comfortable setting boundaries within your current work environment and push back on the unrealistic expectations? (You definitely want to put yourself first, especially since it's affecting your health while you're pregnant). Is it possible to negotiate a longer maternity leave with the other employer? Or can you afford to take a few extra months unpaid? From my perspective, it seems like this is a really important time to prioritize your health and put yourself first. So I would empower you to do whatever is going to make you happy and healthy for your baby.

Anonymous

11/26/20 at 2:18PM UTC

You should come first, if you as the mom are stressed or unhappy it will impact your family. I agree with other posters who may be able to negotiate more time off or a mix of paid/unpaid leave. If the new company values you they will work with you to find a solution. I was in a similar situation however much closer to due date (3-4 weeks) and the company and I decided to wait until after maternity leave due to health insurance snd time for impacting new job before leave. Best of luck to you!