Hello,

How do you deal with the catty "doubting Thomas" coworker? We work in an environment where we HAVE to work closely together. There is no ignoring, avoiding or keeping my distance. Some of my guy friends in other departments notice she has the attitude with them too. I know that not everyone has to like you, but at the same time, I DONT have to eat dirt. I learned in Kindergarten, that if you don't like someone, don't talk to them! It seems that too many people missed that lesson! When I say, "doubting Thomas" I mean comments like, "how do you not know, you've been been here the longest" with the accompanied crossed arms, eye roll and sneer. In the program that I have been working, I have learned to differentiate a one off vs a pattern. She has established a pattern. I don't like to be the one to go to HR over every little thing, but it's disrespectful and unprofessional. I will be in a leadership position soon. I try to be a flexible and fair leader. But I don't need that attitude anywhere near me in the work space. How do you deal with the "catty" and "doubting Thomas" coworker? It's something I have always struggled with.

I keep seeing the same job postings on Linkedin, Simplyhired, & Indeed. I need to get out of my job within the next month ASAP b/c my Supervisor is repeating the same behavior from last year where she takes extended leave EVERYTIME she has a family event that comes up & she says she will contact me & help me w/certain assignments & make herself available for meetings w/me & then she is nonresponsive & disappears. Last week my Supervisor said her parents are in another state getting settled into their new place, & she is making sure everything is in order at her parents' house where she is out of state. She said she is securing the home & cars & that everything is in order b4 leaving. She said she is unable to give work her entire focus while handling everything that needs to be transferred out of state. She claimed she would check in with me on Wed. but never did. And she made sure she put that in the email she sent on Tues. W/my Director copied on it that she would "check in with me"--but she never did! There are updates that my Director & I need to be informed of when it comes to clients who we deal with & if she is nowhere to be found, then how am I supposed to know what the hell is going on? I reached out to her twice via email recently, & she finally responded the 2nd time & said she has not had time to update the statuses of our clients & has been prioritizing family matters & utilizing my PTO for that purpose. I'll be online for a few hours this morning and available on our communication platform if you need to reach me. If there are any urgent concerns or issues, you would like to discuss, please let me know. I can make myself available for about an hour today if needed. I’m looking forward to returning fully on Monday with a fresh mindset, but I appreciate your understanding as I handle these imperative family issues." Well I responded to her email to let her know I understand how she needed to handle her family issues. Then, I said "If you are available for a meeting today, let me know what time works best for you." She NEVER responded to me at all, so wtf was the point in sending that portion of the email?? I HATE working with her. She is horrible and I constantly feel like I'm working alone & being taken advantage of. She comes up with excuses for EVERYTHING, especially when it comes to attending mandatory events for work. When she & I met yesterday, she said "she could not help anyone else unless she helped her family first. I don't have the capacity to deal with all of these different things going on with clients." Then when I mentioned 2 of our clients have been nonresponsive, she said "I will leave that up to you & the Director to handle." Um wtf?? No!! You just got back from being off for ALMOST 2 WEEKS!! You need to stop being lazy as hell & DO YOUR JOB!! For the life of me, I don't understand why my Director continues to allow this manipulative & hostile behavior to keep going on with this lying woman. She has shown patterns of manipulation & lies for several months, yet my Director says NOTHING! Based on her track record within the past year, everytime its a stressful situation like her having to get tests ran at the doctor's office, a birthday party for her son or family member, family coming into town, claiming she locked her keys in the truck prior to a 4 hour meeting, family things going on out of state, etc--she always says she needs to take PTO or is just unreachable!! You are supposed to be A SUPERVISOR/MANAGER. Its not fair for me to handle everything while your ass is constantly OFF !! I feel like confronting her & telling her how it would be helpful if she could acknowledge my emails more & respond to them & help me with assignments she said she was going to help me with will be a waste of time b/c she constantly says she is going to do 1 thing & then does what SHE WANTS TO DO!! -Also, I absolutely HATE IT when the Director gets an email from 1 of our clients & emails my Supervisor & I asking "can either one of you reach out to this person?"--like im not already doing a bunch of other stuff & she knows I have been holding down the fort while my Supervisor was out for almost 2 weeks. I'm only doing a little bit at a time, & my mom keeps asking me "is the Director asking you to do your Supervisor's work?" The answer to that is: we share the same clients so if anything comes up while my boss is off, then my Director requests for me to handle issues concerning them. I hate it here. Everyone keeps telling me to find another job & leave if I don't like it, but its not easy. I have been searching for several months now. Staffing/temp agencies are trash & want you to chase them & I have applied for other jobs & lately I have been getting responses like "we received a large volume of applicants." I have to find an escape plan. People don't want to help refer you to anyone in my area. They just watch you struggle & drown. I have to get out ASAP. THIS LADY IS THE DEVIL & MY DIRECTOR ISN'T DOING ANYTHING TO SUPPORT ME NOR HOLD HER ACCOUNTABLE. How do you handle someone toxic like this lady??

I need advice on an ongoing situation at my job which seems to be getting worse. Background: I am a 67 year old female working part time (30 hours) at a restaurant/gift shop. Been there 4 years. About two months ago they hired a man who was hired to work in the kitchen. I normally work in the gift shop by myself because the store isn't that busy. The Kitchen Manager complained to HR that he was "coming in drunk", smelled of body odor and in general was unkempt. They shifted him over to my area which upset me. He is very loud with the customers, flirts with the females and will jump in front of me (literally) to wait on an attractive woman. He will often follow people out the door still talking. I know that he drinks because he lives close by me and will go to the liquor store (I go to the Dollar Tree next door) and buy a bag of miniatures, drinks a couple, throws them on the ground and gets in his car for work. I have also seen him walking to work ( I was sitting at a stop light) drink one of those large cans of beer, pee and keep walking. I was at the register when he came in that day and he fell into the door and onto his knees. He said he "didn't get any sleep" the night before. And hurried into the bathroom. I brought this to my Supervisors attention and his response was " I can't do anything; he's a functioning alcoholic". I was livid. He is red-faced, skinny as a rail and smells of alcohol and cigarettes. He is also so loud when he talks to me, customers and other employees that I almost jump out of my skin. We have other duties to do such as stocking shelves, empty trash, clean restrooms, etc. I have never seen him do any of these unless I tell him to. I am filled with anxiety each day I know I have to work with him. He talks nonsense such as " I have birds that talk to me", " I'm also a long haul truck driver along with this job", I save rescue cats at home and have about 100". Does anyone have any advice at all?

I have brought this up to my boss for several months and nothing has been done. I told my boss I currently had a new offer come to me and I would most likely be accepting it. My boss then came back and asked to wait so he could see what he could do because he wants me to stay. Now, I already accepted the position because I did not think anything was going to be done. So ... What would you do if the current job you were at came back with the same amount the new company is offering? Would you move on or stay? I have mixed feelings about it. Any help or ideas would be great!

I am feeling a bit hopeless as I graduate with my MBA in May and I am very excited about all the opportunities out there. Initially I wanted to do supply chain but I really enjoyed other topics in the program so didnt concentrate on supply chain. I have ~ 87K debt from the degree and I dont have a career direction and sort of want to go back to school to get more skills in data analytics, or a degree in psychology to pivot and do that because I enjoy learning about psychology but that would be more debt. I dont regret the MBA despite the debt, it was interesting and have learned great skills. I am in my 30s, divorced recently, and just frustrated I dont have it all figured out. Living at home with family has made my depression and anxiety worse. I realized I need to move out ASAP but rent where I live is expensive so staying here to save. I am just learning to manage my finances. I feel like I am back at square one post undergrad.. decided to hire a career coach but I just really want to give up...

First, a bit of background: I’m a mid-career professional, currently employed, and actively job searching. Despite the challenging job market, I’m confident I’ll secure another role. As for my manager, while I could use many colorful adjectives to describe her, I’ll keep it simple—she is the most toxic leader I’ve ever worked for, which says a lot. Within weeks of joining, she made it clear who she was, and things only declined from there. She went out of her way to make it known—both to me and others—that she did not value me. From attempting to, and in some cases successfully turning senior leaders against me to creating a work environment designed to push me out, her actions were (and still are) intentional and relentless. I’ve been with the company for about five years. While I had valid reasons for not leaving sooner, beyond financial necessity, the time has finally come. To be transparent, an unexpected personal situation that was beyond my control impacted my performance for a brief period. While both of us had high expectations for me, instead of being empathetic and compassionate, she was vicious and unforgiving. Regardless of my successes since that difficult period, she remains hellbent on seeing me through that lens. I’ve had multiple jobs throughout my career, so I know how to craft a resignation letter and the importance of professionalism. However, I’ve reached a point where I’m exhausted from always taking the high road. That said, I am not looking to make a dramatic exit, however while I understand the importance of not burning bridges, this is not my primary concern—if she didn’t support me while I worked for her, I would not consider asking her for recommendations in the future. Unlike with my past resignation letters, I will not be including empty words of gratitude for her "support and opportunities"—because that would be an outright lie. Instead, I plan to keep my resignation letter as succinct as possible, but at the same time, I want the tone to mirror how she’s treated me over the years: cold, dismissive, and indifferent. Any advice on how to strike that balance? Thanks in advance.