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Anonymous

07/10/20 at 8:25PM UTC

Career

Can I stop constant rejections from ruining my mental health?

I've just finished my master's degree and I have experience as an intern, entry-level employee, volunteer. I've gotten great feedback on both my resume and general cover letter (which I tweak with every application!). Yet I still get constantly rejected. I thought I had a really wonderful interview a few weeks ago and I just got rejected with no feedback. It's been hard to keep going since. I know I can be a great employee but it doesn't feel like any employer sees that. I've done hard work on my master's to increase my skillset, yet now it feels worthless right. How do I get out of this mental health black hole and stop letting these rejections ruin my mental state?

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Caroline TIBBETTS

Consultant in New York City

07/22/20 at 10:10PM UTC

This is an extremely challenging situation and I have and am currently (for a second time) experiencing this. One thing that has helped me is to create a spreadsheet documenting each application and the status of it. This helps me to truly quantify how many roles I have applied for and what the outcome has been. I can insert notes and feedback from interviews and use that as I continue my job search. If you would like me to share more on this feel free to direct message me. Not that this process will make your search or rejection easier, but its just a reference point that can help you to be better for next time and remember you are NOT alone on this. It happens. And remember, all you need is ONE job.

Krista Coutts

336

Marketing Professional, Cross-Functional Leader

07/15/20 at 11:28PM UTC

Amazing suggestions and feedback so far...how are you doing with your self care? I'm finding that I'm having an opportunity to expand my opportunities by participating on lots of online learning, which then leads to more "connects" on LinkedIn of the people presenting on those learning seminars. I'm expanding my network, but also enjoying what I'm learning! Integrating a little of this suggestion will help in your mental state, as you'll be feeding your mind too!

Susan Graye

153

Global Talent Attraction & Acquisition Leader

07/14/20 at 9:36PM UTC

Now more than ever......don't let rejection get to you. Keep a list of all of the amazing things you have done thus far.....have a great group of friends and family you check in with you help each other keep a smile on your face AND remember.... Each rejection puts you that much closer to the "dream job" Think about where we would be if Edison stopped trying to create electricity after all the times he failed....or MJ (Michael Jordan) didn't keep shooting baskets every time he missed OR Babe Ruth stopped slugging AND last......learn from each interview....the more you practice the better you get!! Much success....hoping you get to celebrate a great new job soon.

Monique Rinere

Helping parents help teens succeed.

07/14/20 at 7:18PM UTC

Such great input so far! I would just add that therapy - which is super easy to do these days by zoom and phone - might help! There are many low-cost options available.

Angela Kutlik

07/13/20 at 2:18PM UTC

This is all great advice. I would echo Anonymous' concern with your mental health and stress levels. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself-taking walks, reading a light novel, resurrecting an old hobby, chatting with friends or loved ones. Worry about rejection, and the impact on mental health isn't uncommon, and another downside is it can come across in an interview. Take good care.

Anonymous

07/13/20 at 5:40AM UTC

Great ideas above - Also, to give you some more to choose from: Have you considered working for a staffing company while looking for your ideal job? Many times companies need someone urgently, and that may help you to break into the type of job you want. I have found that when the customer company found out what I could do, the scope of the job increased, and when my contract was over, I was offered a position much closer to what I really wanted. Also, if the idea of networking has been a challenge , you might be interested in some free materials - google Andy LaCivita. His mission is helping people find jobs they love. Some of his networking ideas sound natural and not awkward to follow - hopefully worth checking out. Wishing you all the best!

Anonymous

07/10/20 at 9:40PM UTC

I do think that prep work will help you but I am concerned about the effect this is having on your mental health and can’t see how prep work alone is going to help that. From what you are saying, you worked had in school to increase your skill set and now with the rejections you are not seeing a payoff. Prep work is more work it may get you to landing a job but if it doesn’t and you see more rejections after how do you think you’ll feel like your mental health issues are closer to being solved. There are so many uncertainties with the job market today. Look at what covid 19 has done. I myself felt a bit burned out from trying different prep work at the end of last year without it leading to a position and had to step away from some approaches, and advice I was getting because of how it was making me feel. Are you doing any self care?? Fitness for me releases endorphins. Doing creative art helps me to get my mind off things. You put a lot of hard work into school and you should feel accomplished but, honestly I noticed after working hard at school, their where people I grew up with and did not seek out higher education. For some of these people smiles come easier, they have an easier time liking things that I can’t after being put through grueling educational challenges that i’m not even using career wise. When I came up the College Prep system was on the rise and now there are studies are showing that students who make it through these systems and make it through higher education are not finding careers leading to decent incomes. Do some self work now for the sake of your own self care please. Although I can’t say that I’m working in a field based on my education, taking lesser jobs and avoiding paying college debt as a risk I paid for a lot of fitness classes and personal training. I can say I saw phenomenal personal results. My posture improved doing yoga and weight lifting. I get that you want to see the payoff from your masters but you are having unhealthy feelings. I see people in high paying careers who are willing to sacrifice good health for those careers. I’ve worked under people like this but can’t say I saw those types as mentors. More examples of how not to be.

Diana L. Beckham

07/13/20 at 9:22PM UTC

WOW! This resonates with what I am experiencing now. I am considering going into a field that focuses on nutrition and physical well being because I can see the value it has on my mental wellness as I too am suffering through the mental garbage that comes from job searching. I just finished my Masters and I feel like I have wasted a ton of money. Thank you for posting this view. It really hits home.

Anonymous

07/13/20 at 11:59PM UTC

Thanks for your response. A lot of my fgb comments recently have been my straight up honest opinion even if it goes against the common advice that’s already been given. I wish you the best in finding your way in the nutrition and physical well being fields,

Amy Fortney, PMP

2.27k

Business Strategist & Fractional COO. Doer.

07/10/20 at 8:56PM UTC

All of this, Saidah. Great post.

Saidah Abdulhaqq

979

Digital Strategist Marketing Technologist Coach

07/10/20 at 8:43PM UTC

The previous comments are spot on. Prep is key and doubt is normal. Here's how I dealt with it when I was laid off last summer because the company I worked for was having financial trouble. First things first, it's not you, it's them. They may have in mind someone for the job you think you're perfect for and are going through the motions. They may be building their pool for later hiring. The person you interviewed with might be intimidated by your ability to take her job (true story). Next, remember it's a numbers game. I applied to over 100 jobs (between direct and recruiter or agency referral) in the 6 weeks I was out of work. I got 10 face to face interviews after countless phone interviews, 4 second interviews, 2 offers (one voiced concerns that I would possibly take her job, the true story above) and 1 job. Every single other app was a reject. And I was selective about where I would apply and kept my salary range within $10K of the previous job. Know your value. You need to know where to pool your application resources. Don't do a desperation search and app dump. Take your time to review job postings and choose the ones you qualify for. Desperation applying is wearying and you need to take care of you. Know how much you are willing to accept for salary based on your experience and averages in your region. Don't let anyone lowball you. And, like Amy Fortney above says, track with a spreadsheet, have a system for which companies deserve your talent and give yourself a feeling of control over the situation. Learn when to say no. Get a call from a recruiter who thinks you'd be great based on ONE thing on your resume? Review the posting and say no when it is below your skillset or not in the realm of what you want. When you interview for such positions you won't really want to give your all and it will show. Get feedback where you can. With every rejection I received (understand that some jobs just ghosted), I asked for feedback. I rarely got it, but when I did it was helpful. In most cases they closed the posting, hired someone internally, or had someone who better fit based on skills. At no point did anyone make me feel that I did anything that resulted in the rejection. It's not you, it's them. Feel free to connect with me privately. I am always happy to talk career planning and I offer advice based on my experience and coaching I have received totally for free. Best of luck!

Amy Fortney, PMP

2.27k

Business Strategist & Fractional COO. Doer.

07/10/20 at 7:47PM UTC

It's hard. I've definitely been there. Let me ask a few questions. Have you been doing mock interviews with those around you who might be able to offer you some valuable feedback? Have you developed STAR responses to common questions? Are you doing preparation on the company history and letting that and the job description inform your questions for the interviewer? Do you know how you can help the company in ways that they haven't considered or that your competition can't? If not, let me know and I'd be happy to schedule some time with you to go through some of those exercises. When I have looked for jobs in the past, I tracked them in a spreadsheet. I only applied for roles where I had 50 -80% of the qualifications and then had a rating system in the spreadsheet for my fit and how well I liked the company after doing my research. That was helpful for me mentally, because even though applying for roles was a necessary and demoralizing evil, it told me quickly where I likely stood and whether or not it was a company that I'd be devastated to miss. It might just be an illusion of control, but that might be useful.