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Anonymous

12/23/20 at 4:43PM UTC

Career

Need honest, unfiltered career advice.

Hi everyone! I need career advice. For background, I work at a PR agency and have been internally promoted nearly every year because I am a high performer, hard worker and quick study. I have been with my current employer for six years. Recently, I was heavily recruited by an ex-client and strongly considered to the point where I discussed leaving with our executive team. I decided to stay and was shortly thereafter rewarded with a promotion to SVP. I am now a member of our executive team in my early 30s, which is INCREDIBLE! Shortly after this experience, I was heavily recruited by one of the largest cloud computing providers in the world (my entire career thus far has focused on technology PR with a specific focus on cloud computing). I decided to pursue the interview process, despite what I just went through with my current employer, because this is a role tech PR pros careers can be MADE from. If you work at this org, you pretty much secure your spot at any company thereafter. Yesterday, I received the offer letter! The salary isn't much more than I make today, and I just found out I'm pregnant with baby #2. I have until after the holiday break to respond to the offer letter, but I'm absolutely conflicted. Do I stay in my current role because I was just promoted and recently found out I was pregnant? OR, do I take the new role that was offered to me at one of the biggest companies in the world and a KILLER spot for a tech PR pro, knowing in about 8 months I'll have to go on maternity leave, my RSUs won't vest during that time, and the potential for a promotion the next year at this org may be off the table given I'd have to take early maternity leave. I'm in a fantastic spot in my current company, love my clients and my colleagues are supportive and amazing. This new company would be a big new challenge, likely more stressful, but something I truly couldn't have dreamed up to happen for me. I need some FairyGodBosses to weigh in and give me some real feedback? What are your thoughts on career route?

26 Comments

Anonymous

12/23/20 at 5:57PM UTC

There will ALWAYS be amazing offers, super money and opportunity.....ALWAYS. why entertain anything less? So never think that this is somehow a once in a lifetime scenario or an anomaly.If you are as great as you sound, YOU and only YOU will be the master of your career path and life. You will always have great choices, opportunities and a bright career. So with baby #2 coming you have much to be grateful for and much to consider. I would take the focus off of the immediate offer and its urgency and consider what best suits you, your family and balances your long term goals. Enjoy the interest in you and revel in the demand for your talent but trust in the reputation you've built and trust that there will be plenty of opportunity during your lifetime.

Anonymous

12/23/20 at 6:11PM UTC

I agree. Why let someone else’s deadline drive a career you’ve been excelling at managing yourself. Take a breath. What is important to you and which position will allow you to put your hands on that?

Anonymous

12/23/20 at 6:59PM UTC

Congratulations! Do you have a supportive partner and/or family to assist with baby #2? I have been in PR life for about 3 years and this sounds like an amazing opp. Although I agree with the comments above (that great things will always come to those who work hard), I think there are only a few moments in your career that you really see a new direction / opp that can significantly change your life. If you feel that way about this offer, I say try your best to make it work if that is the dream job.

1 Reply

Anonymous

12/24/20 at 1:24PM UTC

I agree with Anonymous. Even if it puts your promotion off the table for a year, I'd go for it. It sounds like a great opportunity and once you've proven yourself it sounds like you will excel naturally.

E Sylvia Simpson

Architecture & Metaphysics

12/23/20 at 7:36PM UTC

A decade ago, I would have answered this question logically and rationally. Now, as we enter the Age of Aquarius, I am taking my hobby of divination and oracle reading more seriously ... although, technically it's for entertainment purposes and not for major life decision-making. Sometimes a good oracle reading can help uncover inner feelings and thoughts that bypass the rational mind, and offer more concepts to ponder ... along with mundane reasoning ... and help bring balance to taking in more ideas and values before finalizing major life decisions. Personally, I would do some divination. If you have a hobby that helps bring you insight, I would take some time with that hobby ... whether it's divination, physical exercise, writing, whatever ... before finalizing any career decisions. p.s. I have flagged some negative comments by two anonymous users in response, below (posted within an hour of each other on the same day of December 26th), as abusive and inappropriate. I do hope that my comments generate positive responses that invite conversation. If anyone has polite questions about my comments, I invite appropriate conversational commentary.

User edited comment on 12/26/20 at 6:39PM UTC

1 Reply

melody

12/27/20 at 9:34PM UTC

Ms.. Simpson- I,too, use my intuitive gifts. I feel that just advising young anonymous to listen to her inner self is enough advice. Paragraphs 1,2,&4 are not needed at all in your reply & more than likely garnered the harsh replies you received.

1 Reply

User deleted comment on 12/28/20 at 3:41AM UTC

E Sylvia Simpson

Architecture & Metaphysics

12/28/20 at 3:46AM UTC

Did I ask for editing advice? Flag 3. I could keep flagging each negative comment, which is super easy to do, or I may not if it seems to be a waste of my time, attention and energy. In my opinion, trolls and flamers are really passe. Most of us have experienced them, in one way or another, at other websites. As for eloquence, Shane Koyczan's "Troll" video (circa 2014) vividly states his concerns over the negative influence of online negativity. Link below. https://youtu.be/670if6Etx0o FGB, I would appreciate the removal of unsolicited negativity in response to my requested commentary as a VIP at this website, and an email of notification after its removal.

User edited comment on 12/28/20 at 4:05AM UTC

Cinzia Iacovelli

309

Marketing Project Manager, Digital Events

12/24/20 at 4:41AM UTC

Only you can have the right answer. Trust your guts. Is this your dream job? The company that you wanted to work for? Then go for it and grab this opportunity, and don't look back. And congrats for the baby!

1 Reply

AnnFennerSpiegel

12/27/20 at 10:13AM UTC

What about quality of life and true nurture time with your baby?

Jackie Ghedine

4.02k

Coach for Gen X Women | Jack Russell of Humans

12/24/20 at 12:33PM UTC

This is a good problem to have but one no one can actually make for you. However, what I can do, is help you with your decision making. First, give YOURSELF a by-when to decide timeline. More time does not read as a better decision, it often times is the death of the right decision. Next, you need to decide what your 3-5 main must-haves for a job are and weigh them for each position so you can logically see which one fills more of your buckets. 1- Salary 2- Supportive and Vulnerable culture and boss 3- Clear career growth path 4- Visibility as an industry leader Lastly, do a real gut check. What's keeping you from staying or going? Often times, fear of change comes up as a threat for us which keeps us from making transitions. Spend time understanding your plethora of emotions and neutralizing them so you can make a decision that aligns with what you want for your entire life.

Roberta

303

12/25/20 at 4:10PM UTC

Ask yourself this: why was the SVP promotion at your current job only offered AFTER you said you might leave? The reasons you opted to participate in that other interview process and consider leaving still exist. The only difference is that you have a bigger title. If they didn't still exist, you wouldn't have entertained the process with this 2nd company. What is it about your current company that continues to drive you to consider interviews and offers from other companies? Lastly, think about how you you'd handle this if you WEREN'T pregnant. Ask yourself why you're hesitating. Because you might not get promoted after a year? Because you'd have to wait a few extra months to exercise a few stock options? Frankly, that tells me that you're chasing money, titles, and prestige instead of really looking at why you're considering leaving a company that - by your own admission - you love. I think you really need to sit with these questions over the weekend.

2 Replies

Flossy

962

Client Solutions Consultant

12/26/20 at 1:59PM UTC

I agree on the chasing. Yes, we “can” do it all being executives and moms. But it’s exhausting. You get one chance to be a good no great mom. That’s the most important title. This is from someone that put her career over having kids. Turn down the role with complete thanks and ask to leave the door open. Kick it in your current role and set your team up to succeed during your MATLOA... that includes meeting with your leadership to explain you are setting your team up to thrive during this time and look for future leaders. It is a relief I promise to settle into a role and put all your effort into the projects ahead of you without considering your next step.

N Meeks

12/26/20 at 3:39PM UTC

I wholeheartedly agree with Roberta! Sounds like you chase money and title and not what really matters when making a career choice. I believe you said that working for this new company will set you up to work at any company. Why all the future speculation? Stop, learn your craft and demonstrate some loyalty and other rolls will come about when the time is right. Baby # 2 will be stressful and starting a new job will only make it harder. Yes, women CAN have it all, but timing has to be a factor, and right now the focus has to be your extended family and career second. Remember, if you take a job for the money, you’ll earn every dime. Think about what that really means ...

User edited comment on 12/26/20 at 3:41PM UTC

Lourdes

12/25/20 at 7:59PM UTC

Always, always do what's best for YOU. Never feel guilty about leaving an employer, everything at a company can change on a dime, you could get new leadership, a new boss, lose clients, etc. Companies will never ever hesitate to let you go no matter what you've accomplished. Your only loyalty is to yourself. Also, in order to be a well-rounded PR professional, its vital for you to have in-house experience, real power is in-house. This move is a life-changing career opportunity, do not hesitate!

User edited comment on 12/25/20 at 8:06PM UTC

Sage Fraser

108

Senior HRIS Analyst / Implementation Consultant

12/26/20 at 3:16AM UTC

I would tell the new company the truth (disclose your pregnancy) and stay at current company for now. With 2 kids it’s 3x the work and you will tenure for FMLA. The company you are at will support your LOA. The new company will understand and probably prefer to defer employment but definitely still want you! Don’t mention offer from new company. Since comp is equal and you have job security where you’re at this seems the best path forward. At your level the new company will expect a lot off the bat and being pregnant you don’t need the stress.

1 Reply

Sage Fraser

108

Senior HRIS Analyst / Implementation Consultant

12/26/20 at 4:55AM UTC

Turning down an offer with their best interest in mind will just make them want you more. Bet they offer you the/a role in a year if you want it.

Sage Fraser

108

Senior HRIS Analyst / Implementation Consultant

12/26/20 at 4:56AM UTC

Or they will raise the salary substantially and offer childcare accommodations as a bonus. Get it in ink and go to the new company if it turns this direction.

Rebecca Lee V

2.08k

Credentialing Specialist

12/26/20 at 1:47PM UTC

What does your husband think?

Flossy

962

Client Solutions Consultant

12/26/20 at 1:51PM UTC

Put your family first. You are happy in your current role and current position. That tech role will be there IF you want it down the road. I hear nothing is wrong in your current company and they respect you. That is worth all the promotions and incentives.

Lori Caso

139

PR Person + Cooking Show Host + Mom

12/26/20 at 2:16PM UTC

Congratulations on your second pregnancy and your promotion to SVP. I have been in PR for 30 years. My advice? I’d stay at my current company. It’s a job you know and a place where you’re respected. I’m the mom of three - during my pregnancies and the early years of my children, I would not have had the energy or the time to excel at a new position. Juggling multiple children and a career can be exhausting. ( Now, that’s just me... ) I will say there’s no wrong answer here, in whatever road you choose. You sound very competent and ambitious, I’m sure your career will extend long after any of these jobs. Good luck and best wishes!

Anonymous

12/26/20 at 3:07PM UTC

I just watched the new Wonder Woman movie and I think you should watch this to help you decide. The thing here is you might be missing info to help you decide. You should really consider your resources at hand. If it’s the case that you have someone at home to help you with both babies. And your new work place as well as your new boss is understanding of your new home demands, and you are physically capable of doing the responsibilities, then it would be a go. Otherwise, you have to prove yourself at your new place, care for both kids, and accomplish the responsibilities in an unknown environment. Even simple things such as the fact that they don’t have enough resources or the right ones would make it look like you didn’t accomplish. There is stuff at stake here. So consider wisely.

Tiffany

113

12/26/20 at 3:35PM UTC

I think you know in your heart what you want to do or you proooobably wouldn’t be posting about it. I have a gut feeling you’re looking for people to “approve” your decision to take this new role but you don’t need our approval. If that’s what you want (and you do truly seem excited about it) then that’s what you should do! I fear that if you stay in your current role, you will be regretful and possibly even resentful. I did the same thing when looking for my new role. I’m a single parent to a three year old without any family around and was offered a new position at my dream company during a pandemic no less! I was so excited but kept hesitating because I was scared of how hard it would be. It IS hard but I feel a million times happier. I was also honest with the new employer during offer negotiations that I have a small child at home and will need to work flexible hours. They were more than happy to accommodate. I’ve also started a new job previously while pregnant and told them during my first week. They gave me 14 weeks of mat leave and a bonus although I’d only been there 5 months before delivering. Not saying to tell them about your pregnancy but if this company is really world-renowned and everyone wants to work there, they probably have excellent benefits/culture and probably will accommodate you in the best way possible. I advise communicating with them as honestly as you feel comfortable with. If they suddenly don’t want you because you have a life then probably not the right place for you anyway.

Seana Evelyn

12/27/20 at 8:28PM UTC

This is the way I approach all major decisions in my life. I try to picture what I think my life will look like in 5 years with each of the choices. And then I go with the one that feels the best. Certainly nothing is guaranteed and in the end, no one knows the future, but I have not yet regretted a decision I made using that strategy.

Farah Bajwa

193

Manager | Mentor | Consultant | Coach

12/30/20 at 12:50AM UTC

Like some have said, only you can answer this. If I were in your shoes, one question I'd ask myself is can I handle ramping up and learning a brand new company and how they do business while on pregnancy hormones and hustling to establish rapport because I expect to be going on maternity leave not long after? Make a list or run a simulation - imagine what your life would be like with both companies. Which would provide you better health care coverage, maternity leave, sick/pto/vacation? You said new company is providing better salary, maybe you can ask your current company to match it? We women are intuitive but this hurried world has drowned out some of that wisdom. List to what your heart is telling you :)

Karisa Karmali

604

Founder of Self-Love and Fitness

12/30/20 at 2:11AM UTC

Trust your intuition, go for a walk, meditate on the question, journal about it. You have the answer within you, while considering salary and growth opportunities. Which one feels more expansive energy-wise?

Renata

Ideal Careers happen by Design

12/30/20 at 10:44AM UTC

Wow you have a few contending priorities to consider. Rather than give you advice per say I would like to invite you to consider the following questions which I am sure you have probably glanced over anyway. Suffice to say you can of course have both a high profile high-paying job and be a super mom to two children and also be all the other things in your life. It can be done - the question however is " Is this what you want" do you want to be a super exec and a super mom? Both of these roles come with their own bags of tricks as I am sure you already know so the question is do you want to do this? Awesome jobs come and go along with awesome salaries and benefits so there is that. Having been a SVP myself with 3 children I can tell you this much juggling all those priorities is not sustainable even with the most ardent support structure in place (which I had). I eventually resigned as SVP when my kids were around 6-7 when my daughter came into my home office and asked me for something and in that moment I responded to her that I was busy and I would look at it in ten minutes - her response was "you always busy - its ok it doesn't matter." In that moment I realised that my children were growing up and even though I was there BUT I was literally in-but-out. In that moment I stopped and tried to remember when my daughter got to 6 yrs old and I could not remember. Thats when I realised There was a lot about my children's milestones that I could not remember being present for. I resigned that week and it was the best thing I had ever done. While I was never a stay-at-home mom I did have time to be present for my kids and when they ready I stepped back onto my corporate journey and within a few short years was VP. again. The bottom line here is that you need to decide on the value you attach to the awesome job which you have the one you have looming and new life you will be bringing into the world. You understand the concept of cost versus value so I don't need to explain it to you - so ask yourself "what do I value." Remember ever choice you make leads you inexorably to either failure or success however you define those to be. This applies to our professional life but it applies just as much to our parenting life.