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Does this embarrassing interview mistake make me unprofessional?
I can't tell if I totally blew this job opportunity. For context: I'm a recent college graduate applying for research positions. When my last interviewer reached out to me, she introduced herself by her first name and signed off with only her first name. In my response, I addressed her by her first name. When we spoke over the phone, she seemed put off and re-introduced herself as "Dr. _____." I corrected myself immediately and have only referred to her with her professional title since.
Despite my slip-up and my correction, she asked me if I was prepared to work in a professional environment. Even my references told me that she asked if I was "professional."
Does my mistake automatically make me unprofessional? How can I address this slip-up?
Kim C. Thompson
28
09/02/20 at 7:26PM UTC
I consider it a matter of professional courtesy to adjust my style of communication, especially when it is someone new. Initially, I consistently address the person formally on at least 3 to 5 occasions. If they continue to address me informally whether in writing or verbally after that, I reciprocate and soften my approach. If I get the impression that the person is addressing me too familiarly at the beginning, I tend to become more formal in all of my communications; most people unconsciously understand my hint. I also take into consideration my audience because I've found that a person's communication style is generally reflective of their age, gender and geographic background.
Katie Carmody
12
08/24/20 at 4:43PM UTC
This happens to me all the time, my given name is not the name I go by; in fact I don't answer to it! I always inform people to address me by my preferred nickname.
Anonymous
08/21/20 at 6:35PM UTC
I was once in a similar situation. I was working to implement a software solution for a hospital, and I listed one of the participants of the call in meeting minutes as "Dr. K" because that is what I knew her as. On our next meeting (and a call with a ton of people), she explained that she was not just Dr. K, but she was the lead surgeon, and was responsible for their new program at the hospital leading to this project. I was mortified and apologized. I was not introduced to her prior and had no way of knowing what her full title or role was. However, I handled it gracefully by saying that we respected and appreciated her role in the program, and followed up by sending a corrected version of the meeting minutes and made sure to refer to her correctly going forward. A coworker called me afterward to let me know I handled it well.
It may have been a slip-up if you had known the proper way to address her, but I believe the more important thing is how you handle the slip-up. If you feel that her asking if you were prepared to work in a professional environment was addressing it head on, then you should also address it head on by responding that yes, you are prepared, and apologize by referring to her on a first name basis and explain you understand the importance of referring to people by their correct titles. Then be sure to follow up by referring to her as Dr. going forward, and clarifying when unknown especially in other situations where you are working with her or her group.
Leader757947Cross-Cultural Understanding
129
08/21/20 at 5:29PM UTC
I wouldn't consider this a slip up. It may be ok for you to call her by her first name in one-on-one context, but not in others. After having worked in higher ed for nearly 20 years, I've found the best course of action is to always ask how people want to be addressed from the outset as many have different expectations for different situations. For example, my boss encourages us to call him by first name, but requests that students call him by Dr. and to use his title when referring to students or other faculty/staff.
Shanna HockingWomen’s Leadership Expert
41
08/21/20 at 2:45PM UTC
I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker AND I think it’s important to use the honorific until you’re told not to. I generally like to say, “Dr. X” until they specifically say, “Please call me Joe/Jane.” This doesn’t always happen btw and that’s a sign. You did the right thing by adjusting your correspondence. Email is hard anyway because of tone. I hope this doesn’t rule out this job possibility for you, and it’s a good learning moment as you navigate the work environment. Good luck!
Susan L H Smith
89
08/21/20 at 2:21PM UTC
Not everyone holding a doctorate uses the title. My late husband had not one, but two doctorates. As a couple, we mostly went by 'Mr. & Mrs.', rarely, if ever, 'Dr. & Mrs.' As a Ph. D chemist, he preferred not to be called Dr. in public lest someone mistake him as a medical doctor. As an attorney, no one uses the title Dr., unless, perhaps, you are a law school professor.
I don't think you did anything wrong. Given the circumstances, I would've done the same thing.
Judy HutchinsonInternational Education Specialist.
140
08/21/20 at 2:07PM UTC
In an interview, you should always use the person's title and surname. However, I really like the comment above where the person asks the interviewer their preference--"How should I address you?" But as a maxim, always start formal and if they wish for you to use their first name, they will tell you.
That being said, the interviewer should have referred to herself as such in her emails or letters to you as well. But in the end, she's allowed to slip up, because she isn't applying for the job. Don't fret about it though. As an recent graduate, it's something you learn with experience. The perfect interview doesn't exist--and, if it does, it definitely makes the interviewer suspicious! Learn from it and make sure you correct it next time.
Maggie Walker
202
08/21/20 at 1:51PM UTC
Just* curious. Was there anyway to find out her position before you responded to her such as checking the company's website for her full name and title? Also curious, would you have checked any website for a male contact give the same circumstances?
In general, to any and all readers actually, how do you prepare your cover letter or other correspondence? By which I mean do you write in the traditional Date/Inside address/Salutation/Body/Closing/Signature format. Or do you write in the informal manner of email which is one incredibly long run-on sentence? Personally, I have never been comfortable with the informal email manner and prepare the traditional letter style.
I have discovered programmers have automatically deleted any and most spacing in the traditional format, but then I have to remember who the programmers are. (No apologies - I am their #1 enemy - they created all of the fervor of Y2K for no reason whatsoever and they took no responsibility for that mess.) That pretty much defeats the purpose of formatting.
Anyway - rant over. *using "just" is discouraged but it seemed appropriate here.
Afshan Aman-MartinData | Platform | Backend Engineer
36
08/21/20 at 8:28PM UTC
programmers rely on the linter to put the right amount of spacing back :D
Maggie Walker
202
08/21/20 at 10:36PM UTC
that may be the situation now, but 35 to 45 years ago, the programmer was responsible for everything. at least it was in the programming class I took in 1976. and the programmer I dated in the late 90's hemmed and hawed about his part complaining about storage availability - which was not a problem from 1995 and thereafter. the current programming languages are foreign to me so I don't know the shortcuts they afford the programmers. 45 years ago there were no shortcuts or ways to cut corners. It was all on the programmer - every single step and keystroke.
Mary KerdashaSustainable Interior Designer Professor
14
08/21/20 at 1:43PM UTC
If she is contacting your references she is interested, however assuming she was ok with your familiar address was a slip up. In the future let her take the lead to see how she would like to proceed. Wait for her to say what she would like to be called and until then use her more formal title. It takes years to obtain an Ed.D or a Ph.D acknowledging that effort is appreciated.
Yesenia SalazarRoboticist Student
23
08/21/20 at 1:13PM UTC
As an undergraduate, I would never call a PhD who I was interviewing with by their first name unless they said to. Also the person who says that this woman operates with a "power-over" stance is clearly either internally misogynist or a man on the site. Studies have shown that female professors with PhDs are more likely to be perceived in a negative way (aka seen as a b*@#h) when insisting she be referred to with Dr., but the same doesn't happen to male PhDs. In the future, especially if it's a woman, have some respect and professional courtesy and refer to your interviewer/boss/professor with their honorary Dr. title, as women have that title constantly erased, and a PhD is a very difficult accomplishment to achieve. My professors also sign their emails with their first name, but I would never walk into office hours and say "hey Fred" unless they specifically asked me to or said it was fine. However, her checking in with the references means she's interested, so you still have a chance. Once you get the job just make sure to be extra professional and respectful, like how you wish to be treated.
tl;dr yes it was very unprofessional, especially if it's a woman, have the respect to use the Dr honorific unless explicitly stated not to. This slip up isn't serious enough to discount you as a candidate though, and her checking with your references shows she's likely very interested in hiring you.
39
337
08/21/20 at 3:39PM UTC
Undergraduate who in this case is a young professional, had no idea whether the person was Ph.D. The signature seemed to omit even the last name.
I don't believe the person acted out of disrespect or any lack of professionalism.
To say "it was very unprofessional, especially if it's a woman" just does not sound right to me.
Yesenia SalazarRoboticist Student
23
08/29/20 at 12:48AM UTC
I definitely don't mean to imply the poster acted with any malicious intent, but unprofessional behavior is unprofessional even if it was an accident. Also, my point is that women have their PhD title erased more than men do (according to studies, not anecdotal evidence) so omitting the honorific Dr. is very unprofessional point blank, but if it's a woman having their PhD title erased, it's even worse (as it's a popular and misogynistic trend women have to deal with while men don't)
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