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Rachel Schreiber
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123
Key Account Manager
08/11/20 at 12:16AM UTC
in
Parenting

Zoom Birthday Party Etiquette

With many kids birthday parties going virtually these days, I'm curious to get your thoughts around the expectations on both sides - hosting and attending. As a host, I feel a bit awkward asking for a gift for my child since I'm not providing food or entertainment, but then again its still a kids birthday party. What is your take? Also, if I'm invited to a Zoom party, is it expected that I wear my party clothes and dress my kid up in hers? The whole nine yards with a bow in her hair? Or can you go more casual since you're dialing in remotely? What is the appropriate length of time for a virtual party?

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Aparna Kotha
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83
Technologist passionate about great products.
08/13/20 at 8:38PM UTC
We have attended only one Zoom party. I got my daughter dressed up for the party since I wanted her to feel special. My daughter insisted that we get our own piece of cake to the party so we did that. She ate the cake only after the host cut the cake on their end and that was her most cherished moment in the party. In the end I felt that as long your kid and the birthday kid feel special that's all matters. Our party was attended by 4 year olds so the attention span was about 30 mins at best. The host had not requested gifts.
Katie Malone
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1.28k
Social Media Manager + Mother to two daughter
08/13/20 at 1:40AM UTC
Casual for sure on the dress. And I would actually either request no gifts or a book for your child (or buy the bday kid a book or books). We hosted a drive-by party for my daughter in May and it was awesome. We all had so much fun sitting at the end of our driveway and talking to friends as they drove by with signs. BUT I made the mistake of saying no gifts and we got TONS (which we didn't need). So if you don't want gifts, make sure you specify it on the invite.
Mary Ann Baker
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27
Senior Program Manager
08/12/20 at 4:42PM UTC (Edited)
We've attended multiple zoom parties and I think the timeframe all depends on your kids attention span. For my children who are 10 and 12 roughly 30-45 min worked well. I've noticed the bigger the virtual party the harder it is to keep the kids engaged esp. if all the kids don't know each other. I found it helpful when parents provide a little bit of structure whether it's a game or gives every attendee a chance to talk to the bday celebrant. That way everyone feels included. During most of the zoom parties we've attended, they've also sang Happy Bday with the celebrant blowing out candles.
Amy Petricek
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25
I streamline processes through training!
08/11/20 at 8:09PM UTC
I think there is no expectation.. it's all new for everyone. Give yourself the grace to recreate the moment in the way that feels most authentic to you and your family. If gifts feel right then do it! If dressing a particular way feels right to you then do it! Allow this as an opportunity to be fully yourself!
Anonymous
08/11/20 at 3:58PM UTC (Edited)
Why not ask for everyone to drop a donation by your local animal shelter or something your child can connect with and share a picture of them doing just that or picking out a toy to donate to a homeless shelter instead of a gift? It might depend on the age, but if they're old enough doing/getting something tangible has more value that e-mailing an online gift card. Or maybe (again depending on the age) they can send a postcard/bday card/picture you you child BEFORE the party and you can hang them in the background during the party? I personally think there's great energy and value in dressing for the occasion. I wouldn't go an interview in in my our PJ's and if it were me, my mindset might be in a different space if I was in my PJ's vs a fancy outfit-- and why not go all out? Have fun with it. Even if you're not going anywhere, make the effort and make it a fun thing to do at home. I've seen friends ask their guests to send a very short b-day greeting-video-- 15 seconds (? I forget) and then they combined the greetings to make a cute video for their b-day child. I'll bet Pinterest has some great ideas for a Zoom bday!!

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