I work in project management, and I am 28. I work under a colleague who is the same age as me, but is in a supervisory role. Despite this, I do/did believe we were friends. We chat and text, but I’ve told her before that I can’t add her to my social medias as she is technically my supervisor on a project.
Anyway, a few months ago, this colleague broke up with her partner of a decade. I didn’t know this information at the time, but I sensed something was wrong as she started responding to me with an uncharacteristically nasty tone and not completing the stuff we worked on together. This resulted in me having to plan an entire virtual meeting by myself. After which, I reported that I felt unsupported and stressed out. She responded to say that “she was sorry she hadn’t been around”. After, I asked her multiple times if I had done something to disrupt our working relationship. She responded to say that she “had a lot of personal issues, and was struggling to get through the day”
Fast forward to now, I am hearing from mutual colleagues that she is sending emails to people letting them know why she has been unresponsive, and that is due to her recent breakup. I have received no such email, and I continue to work on our giant project basically by myself.
Last week I asked my boss (who manages both of us) if she noticed anything different about my colleague. My boss told me that my colleague shared some personal news with her, and she is aware it is affecting her quality of work, but can’t discuss it with me if I haven’t been informed.
I’m feeling kind of irritated by this. Why am I the only one who does not get a conversation about this, and is expected to pull her workload on our project, “because she’s going through a hard time”. Might this be because I set that social media boundary earlier? Not sure.