Work and Depression

I started a new job 4 mos ago and I'm feeling very lost and depressed. It looked like a great offer on paper and the company had good reviews. And I feel guilty for complaining because I know I'm fortunate to have job during COVID-19, but my experience thus far is really depressing me. I received the offer a month before I started the job. I hadn't heard from my boss once he sent me the initial offer. I signed it and sent it back. I was then contacted by HR and I completed their forms, but then it was radio silence. I reached out to my soon to be new boss 2 weeks before starting just to check in and see if there was anything else I needed to do. No response. I reached out again the week before I was supposed to start to find out if I needed to report to the office my first day or if they were still working from home. No response that day. Two days before I was to start he e-mailed me and stated that either he or another associate would meet me at the office to pick up equipment to work from home. My first day of work, I had to reach out to my new boss to get log-in credentials. Besides that, I didn't hear from him at all the first week. I passed the time by completing HR onboarding trainings and reading through e-mails. Week 2, I was contacted by one of my staff members and she and I had a good conversation. She stated she had spoken to the boss and that he wanted me to reach out to the team. No formal introduction was going to be made by him, I wasn't sure if the team even knew that my position had been created and that I was hired. I thought his form of communication was weird because she reports to me, but he called her to tell her to relay something to me. I ignored it. I got the team's contact info and reached out to them individually to get to know them better. Over the next several weeks I set up weekly touch bases to learn what each person did, what they needed, and to learn more about their home lives and how they're dealing w/ working remotely. I had asked my boss if we could do some touch bases and talk about dept goals, goals for my role, etc. Never happened. Month two, my boss forwards me meeting details and asks me to join the meeting later that day. I said sure and asked what the meeting was about as I couldn't tell from the title. No response. I join the meeting and there were about 19 people on the call. I had no idea what they're talking about and my boss wasn't on the call. Afterwards, I spoke w/ the meeting organizer who informed me that she set me up with an account and asked me to test the software. I asked her what the software was for and why they were switching software, and what I should be looking for when testing the software because it was a program that I wasn't familiar with. 6 weeks into the job, I have my first touch base with my boss and two other gentleman. It lasted about 10 mins. and he did most of the talking. I did ask the other two people on the call their roles and what they did since we hadn't been introduced. I also asked for an organization chart or a list of departments that we work closely with and who runs those departments so that I could start reaching out to people and introducing myself. Never received those details. I asked for departmental policies and procedures to review, and I was told there were none written. I then started getting requests and emails from people at the organization. I don't know how they got my contact information, and most of the requests I didn't know how to assist them because it wasn't the responsibility of my department and I didn't have contact info to be able to refer them elsewhere. Month 3 and my boss has asked me to jump in on other assignments with no context or resources to complete the tasks. When I ask, I often get no response. I have been unsuccessful at establishing consistent touch bases with my boss and even when he schedules them, he often cancels them last min. He also sends last min. or after hour meeting requests. So I've been working 10-12 hour days. I might not mind as much if I consistently had something to do. I was told there was flex time and I sent my boss the hours I would be working, but if he decides he wants to have a meeting or wants me to fill in for him on a meeting at 8PM, he expects me to do it. I haven't been able to take lunch breaks or really have a consistent schedule because I never know when he'll e-mail or IM waiting an immediate response. He's very unorganized so I'm expected to organize myself around his dysfunction. The one time I couldn't make a 7PM meeting after already working a 9 hr. day because I had personal family plans has now resulted in me having to provide him a weekly update of what I'm working on though he sporadically assigns me things. So last week my boss sends me a copy of departmental policies and procedures from 2018, and asks me to work with the team to update the info. I asked about this over 6 weeks ago and was told it doesn't exist and now it does. I'm just so confused and frustrated by all of this. I've started looking for another job already. The lack of communication and the lack of organization, I just don't know, but it doesn't work for me. I understand the pandemic threw a lot of people off, but pandemic or not, things aren't organized and weren't in place here even prior to COVID-19. The few touch bases I've had, my boss has talked over me or talked at me. I feel exhausted and frustrated at the same time, and have the Sunday night blues. I'm at a point where I don't even want to try anymore, and I feel inadequate in my role. I think the company is a good company and has things to offer, but it's really true that people quit bad bosses. My boss is rude and condescending when he does communicate, and he has said that he's too busy to answer my questions and has recently told me to reach out to another associate with questions, but also stated that he wanted me to know that I can come to him. Huh? I'm just confused. Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do in the situation? I feel like cutting my loses because this clearly isn't a home run, but then again I want to exhaust my options. At this point I don't know why I even care so much. I've experienced toxic bosses in the past and trying to talk to HR or to your boss's boss, never seems to work well.