Devestated new mother of two: Layered and then job blocked
October 23,2020 at 7:32AM UTC (Edited)
I came back from maternity leave about a month ago to find I was layered and no longer sit on the leadership team for my department the week I returned. (My former boss got promoted and moved to a different part of the org.) I kept my team, but I no longer have a seat at the table. I was completely blind-sided and decided it was a sign I should look for another marketing opportunity internally at my company. (My goal when I joined over 3 years ago was to get into a growth marketing role.) I found the perfect opportunity and was immediately interviewed by the hiring manager.
Long story short, my new manager and her boss found out. They both were bullying me to stay and gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I'm in an interview process that I can't work on this special project I'm under NDA for, which would give them cause to eliminate my position. They manipulated me to stay by saying things like, "Are you in or are you out, we need to know" and "Be careful, once you stick your head out it's hard to go back and it can cause ill feelings on either side." And then suggested I go use the company EAP to talk to a counselor because I "have a lot going on." Because I'm a new mom of two and the breadwinner for my household, I withdrew my application.
To say I am devestated is an understatement. I am having a really hard time dealing with this and feel quite hopeless. I've started looking externally, but the thought of starting over is terrifying. I'm also being treated differently at work. I cry at the drop of a hat by myself. I feel like I'm going through depression.
Any advice would be appreciated.
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Hi all - ok this is a first.
The new boss, promoted from within, and I are a bad fit, to put it mildly. I put in my two weeks’ notice, and she replied that I could leave tomorrow.
Here’s the twist: I WANT to stay for two weeks, to put files in order, to coordinate with co-workers the processes for future events, and to finish setting up a Dropbox account for my department. Most of all, I work in a retirement community, and want to ease these beloved residents into the knowledge that their trusted friend is leaving them in good hands. They just lost the last ED without notice and took it badly.
This new boss rules with a cudgel. She starts all discussions with No you can’t do that. She changes my plans on ginned-up reasons (e.g. she canceled my bus trip due to “insurance changes” which had nothing to do with the trip). She lays down the law, and when advised of an error, she doubles down and tries to blame the victim of her error. She refers to staff members as “bodies,” and cares for the residents based on the level of their rent checks. I can’t get away from her fast enough.
Still, I have a good plan for leaving, and as you can tell from the above description of her, any discussion is going to go badly.
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