It's a word I don't even want to utter again but will bravely say it DIVORCE. My husband threw that out at me 2 days ago and I am hurt and embarrassed and broken. We have had years of issues and every time he gets mad he throws out separation or lawyers. I don't necessary disagree that's where we are heading but have not given up just yet and we are communicating more this week than ever. Crying every morning but we are talking. he told me he's just staying for the kids and i can't disagree, if it wasn't any kids I think we wouldn't be together. I am going to a counselor on Friday to work thru my hurt & pain.
However, despite this turmoil my professional life is taking off. and I have 2 opportunities in front of me and need some weigh in.
Currently I am in a manager role for 7 years, same role same boss. It's time to move as I have grown too comfortable and started becoming jaded or less optimistic in my daily work.
Opportunity #1 - I have been offered a director role same stream at a tech company which will require to commute 45 minutes vs. current 5 minutes per day. Yup chuckle at the 5 minutes because it's a dream. The pay will be 30%^ but the commute is going to cost me using toll highways+ gas of $50/ day or else commute is 1h20mins. To be frank, I can do this job but I have no passion for it -- something I did in the past.
Opportunity #2 is to work in the same company but be apart of a global SAP roll out team -- working conditions similar to a consultant. 1 week of out of the month, I will work at the implementation site but the rest will be at home. This is my dream opportunity except my direct boss states that he would never work for my potential new boss again. He would literally quit if that ever happened but that's his personal opinion. I trust the guy so that's a big red flag. I have 2 young kids 2,5 & already put them in 10 hours of daycare.
For my career, obviously taking a global director role in a tech company is huge step/game changer. The move from manager to director is a not an easy task & doesn't come often. I get recruiters after me for manager jobs but NEVER director level & my potential boss is amazing. Thoughts on manager>director moves?
But given my current circumstance and just frankly unstable home life, I am leaning towards staying closer and in the same company to have less stress thru this turmoil time. We haven't committed to divorcing but i feel like i walk on eggshells every day and need to pull a lawyer/papers out with my coffee. My hesitation for the new job is new company, new stress, additional commute time = stress and more resentment towards my husband =>> imminent divorce. Being a single mom, i probably could use the extra money but I am in a comfortable salary position technically so don't need the money.
So what would you do? Advice from any separated, divorced mamas or mamas that repaired the relationship?
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My manager, the second one I’ve had in my 2 years in this position, is leaving.
Ok, so my organization is great- great people, work-life balance, benefits, etc. However, since I’ve been there (will be 2 years in November), both of my managers i had have/are going to leave for really great opportunities outside of our org. While I’m super happy for them, i am concerned about how it’ll potentially impact my career growth. I’d still be doing the same work just reporting to new people, which may change as they hire on a replacement. Which is annoying to start the manager/employee relationship all over again.
My manager is leaving in a few weeks and is invested in making sure there’s a plan in place for who i report to when they’re gone. I guess my question is what would you ask them/consider during this transition phase? I was hoping to start the “it’s been 2 years, I’d like a raise or at least something to help with inflation” conversation but I hate doing this, it’s always so awkward. At the same time, it may be best to get the ball rolling on that to see what can be done prior to my manager leaving?
any advice is welcome, thank you :)
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Hi all - ok this is a first.
The new boss, promoted from within, and I are a bad fit, to put it mildly. I put in my two weeks’ notice, and she replied that I could leave tomorrow.
Here’s the twist: I WANT to stay for two weeks, to put files in order, to coordinate with co-workers the processes for future events, and to finish setting up a Dropbox account for my department. Most of all, I work in a retirement community, and want to ease these beloved residents into the knowledge that their trusted friend is leaving them in good hands. They just lost the last ED without notice and took it badly.
This new boss rules with a cudgel. She starts all discussions with No you can’t do that. She changes my plans on ginned-up reasons (e.g. she canceled my bus trip due to “insurance changes” which had nothing to do with the trip). She lays down the law, and when advised of an error, she doubles down and tries to blame the victim of her error. She refers to staff members as “bodies,” and cares for the residents based on the level of their rent checks. I can’t get away from her fast enough.
Still, I have a good plan for leaving, and as you can tell from the above description of her, any discussion is going to go badly.
any and all advice is much appreciated!
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Hi all, I’m based in the United Kingdom looking for a remote HR role
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