It's a word I don't even want to utter again but will bravely say it DIVORCE. My husband threw that out at me 2 days ago and I am hurt and embarrassed and broken. We have had years of issues and every time he gets mad he throws out separation or lawyers. I don't necessary disagree that's where we are heading but have not given up just yet and we are communicating more this week than ever. Crying every morning but we are talking. he told me he's just staying for the kids and i can't disagree, if it wasn't any kids I think we wouldn't be together. I am going to a counselor on Friday to work thru my hurt & pain.
However, despite this turmoil my professional life is taking off. and I have 2 opportunities in front of me and need some weigh in.
Currently I am in a manager role for 7 years, same role same boss. It's time to move as I have grown too comfortable and started becoming jaded or less optimistic in my daily work.
Opportunity #1 - I have been offered a director role same stream at a tech company which will require to commute 45 minutes vs. current 5 minutes per day. Yup chuckle at the 5 minutes because it's a dream. The pay will be 30%^ but the commute is going to cost me using toll highways+ gas of $50/ day or else commute is 1h20mins. To be frank, I can do this job but I have no passion for it -- something I did in the past.
Opportunity #2 is to work in the same company but be apart of a global SAP roll out team -- working conditions similar to a consultant. 1 week of out of the month, I will work at the implementation site but the rest will be at home. This is my dream opportunity except my direct boss states that he would never work for my potential new boss again. He would literally quit if that ever happened but that's his personal opinion. I trust the guy so that's a big red flag. I have 2 young kids 2,5 & already put them in 10 hours of daycare.
For my career, obviously taking a global director role in a tech company is huge step/game changer. The move from manager to director is a not an easy task & doesn't come often. I get recruiters after me for manager jobs but NEVER director level & my potential boss is amazing. Thoughts on manager>director moves?
But given my current circumstance and just frankly unstable home life, I am leaning towards staying closer and in the same company to have less stress thru this turmoil time. We haven't committed to divorcing but i feel like i walk on eggshells every day and need to pull a lawyer/papers out with my coffee. My hesitation for the new job is new company, new stress, additional commute time = stress and more resentment towards my husband =>> imminent divorce. Being a single mom, i probably could use the extra money but I am in a comfortable salary position technically so don't need the money.
So what would you do? Advice from any separated, divorced mamas or mamas that repaired the relationship?