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Anonymous

08/23/18 at 3:47PM UTC

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I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.

I pretend to care about people, places and conversations when I don’t. I’m just too afraid of exposing who I really am because I’m afraid if I don’t like something, that I’ll be judged for it. I’m on a journey of self-discovery because I’m exhausted putting on a mask everyday. I just don’t know where to begin to become my true self again.

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Anonymous

08/28/18 at 4:25PM UTC

1. Have a morning meditation and daily mantra (such as "I am worthy of respect just the way I am") 2. Prepare a phrase(s) that you can use when people ask your opinion about something or talk about things that you have no interest in. This way you won't have to search for words and say the wrong thing. It's definitely possible to be polite even when standing your own ground. For example: "I've figured out a way for me to be less stressed for time, so I've decided that I can only talk on the phone for 5 minutes at the most - that's my new rule, just so you know!" Another example: "I'm not going to be able to go to ______ with you anymore, because one of my new goals is to set aside x amount of time to draw every day, no matter what. So I am swapping out my time spent doing ____ for that." Well - I could word these better, but you get the drift. 3. Accept the fact that little white lies in these situations are okay i.e. "I have a business meeting at ____ so I have to leave now." 4. I have started being very direct about the fact that I get overwhelmed with too much noise and stimulation, so I tell people that and then say "so I won't be going to the opening receptions anymore (or whatever it is)" 5. Keep practicing, it does get easier! I had a family member recently push me to go to an event that was a 3 hour drive away and would be a noisy cocktail party (which I don't enjoy). Usually I'd say yes anyway b/c they wanted me to go. But I stood firm (even when they pushed back and got annoyed). I told them that I need to start making better decisions about what I do so I can feel good. I also told them (for the 100th time) that I get overstimulated at those things, don't enjoy them, and I don't like to drive that far and back in one day). They were annoyed for a couple of days, and then everything was fine! It will be easier next time! Best wishes. I hear you!

Courtney Klein

688

Security Professional

05/29/19 at 6:53PM UTC

This is such a wonderful and well thought out response. Thank you for putting some heart into it, rather than just being judgmental. The world needs more people like you. To OP: Accepting yourself for who you are is important, so long as you don't put others in harm's way. It's not always possible to care about every little detail of everyone's life and, as the above statements reflect, there are ways to function in such a manner that other's don't feel hurt but you don't have to exhaust your personal resources. Good luck with finding a way to be comfortable with yourself! I hope it's a fulfilling journey that brings you contentedness.

Anonymous

08/28/18 at 8:36PM UTC

Wow, thank you for this. Your words of advice is great. I've ever heard of preparing phrases to use when people as my opinion and I'll definitely try that out. I'm also not great at being direct and should definitely work on it.