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Delivering bad news
Do you sugarcoat it, or lay it all out straight up?
Peg Bittner
retired auditor now into volunteering
620
06/21/19 at 9:35PM UTC
Has anyone ever hear of the Oreo method of delivering bad news especially when it comes to business news. The Oreo method is takes the theory of what an Oreo looks like. You start out with sweet news at the beginning (the chocolate wafer) then you cream them with the bad news(the creamy center) and you end with another sweet message(the second chocolate wafer). I have had a few Oreo news meetings and yes the bad news does hurt, but at the same time I understood and was able to accept it with the stipulations. I also have receive bad news without the method use and it was not a pleasant event. I personally feel it is all in how the news is delivered. The messenger must keep in mind that what if they were the recipient of the news, how would they react? The idea of being blunt is good and there should not be any sugar coating but blunt does not mean straight from the hip and no empathy. Sugar coating and the Oreo method are no way the same. With the Oreo method the first part isn't just syrupy talk but just pleasant idle chit-chat. There is a difference. Just like at the end, that conversation is a calming summation and some idle talking not related to the topic. Sugar coating is not very trustworthy.
MPState Gov't Attorney in NY
303
06/21/19 at 6:16PM UTC
Sounds like they're about to be laid off. I don't think there's a good way to deliver that news, but if you can give the person as much lead time as possible, it could help them for finding a new job. Telling them they're gone today, all of a sudden, with no notice is the worst way.
Anonymous
06/21/19 at 3:13PM UTC
If the news is about performance, I've learned to make the conversations focused on the behavior not the person. In doing so, I try to identify actions that can be changed which makes it less personal and more actionable. As a people manager, this has helped me in my role over the years.
As an example, several years ago, I got feedback that someone on my team was treating people in a condescending manner. He was a top performer (very capable) but clearly needed some work on soft skills. I didn't want to demoralize him because I don't think he was intentionally treating others badly. So I focused our conversations on specific situational examples. We talked about how others may have reacted to him and why. It ended up being an exercise in emotional intelligence for him and he grew significantly from it.
But - if I had focused our conversations on him as a person (i.e. "You are condescending" or "you are being rude to others"), that wouldn't have gone anywhere. He would've likely been offended and it would've been a much different outcome.
Sheila PotterINTJ in Sales by Necessity, Ready for More!
16
06/21/19 at 7:53AM UTC
Important to know type of bad news. Delivering bad news is handled vastly different dependent upon:
Personal
Job performance
Hygiene
Attitude
Inappropriate behavior or communications
....
Anonymous
06/21/19 at 4PM UTC
thank you, you're right. Specifically I was wondering about telling one of my direct reports that their project is being sunset and the work they've been doing for the past 18mo. is effectively dead.
Ruzana GlaeserCo-founder of brightmeetsbrave.com
950
07/03/19 at 8:17PM UTC
"Crucial Conversations" book is amazingly quick read and full of really helpful insights on how to effectively deliver bad news without people shutting down and getting defensive.
Does your bad news come with this person being laid off?
Being transparent, and honest is key; but also realizing what language we use to ensure that we aren't reflecting/affecting person as a human, and rather truly focus on what is and isn't working, what the ultimate goal is, what the expectations are, and taking our share of accountability in cases where it's appropriate.
Here is an example, although a simple one:
"I keep hearing that you aren't doing your job, and come off as just lazy" (yes, this was an actual feedback, although not to me)
It would have gone a lot differently if it was framed as: "Person X has mentioned to me that he continuously has to follow up with you on his requests, and every time he does there is no sense of urgency or resolution to his inquiries."
It's important to acknowledge that they have been doing good work (if that's the case), but priorities have shifted and that the project is no longer being supported.
Ruzana GlaeserCo-founder of brightmeetsbrave.com
950
07/03/19 at 8:18PM UTC
If they are being laid off, then offering assistance/connections you can introduce them to or letter of reference can be very helpful as well.
PennyRem
450
06/19/19 at 9:09PM UTC
For a little more context.. What kind bad news are you delivering??
SOFÍA COVARRUBIASEclectic, multi-lingual, techy, into-yoga-girl
263
06/19/19 at 8:35PM UTC
I'd recommend reading Brene Brown's book "Dare to Lead" to learn how to rumble and have difficult conversations with others. It has been life changing for me.
Six Figure Salary CoachLet me help you add 5 figures to your pay, today
947
06/19/19 at 7:55PM UTC
I believe in laying it all out - but being constructive.
A person can be blunt while also being sensitive. I have worked with many people who sugarcoat everything (or twist the truth) leaving the receiver confused or not understanding the severity of the situation.
It's not easy start the conversations - but practice makes perfect. It's better to be proactive and straight up in the long run. The trick is doing in constructively so you don't disengage the person you are speaking with.
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