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How do you tell a potnential employer you are pregnant?
Hello!
I'm searching for jobs at 3 months pregnant because I was let go from my previous position. I'm struggling with the guilt of knowing I can only work for 6 months, at most, before I need to go on maternity leave.
I've been advised to tell a potential employer only after I receive an offer and to work through a maternity leave solution with the company at that time. I have a few interviews reaching final stages and I'm hoping for an offer, but dreading the conversation. I certainly don't want any potential employer to feel like I lied to them, but I do not want to be pased up for a job due to my situation either.
Has anyone else here been looking for jobs while pregnant? How would you have that conversation with a potential employer?
Ruzana Glaeser
Co-founder of brightmeetsbrave.com
950
08/15/19 at 8:31PM UTC
I am looking at this from the hiring manager's perspective as well as a woman and mother myself. I would strongly recommend to discuss the situation at the time of the offer. If they extend you an offer in writing, that's when you initiate the conversation of I'd like to discuss your maternity leave and arrangement around that. It could be part of your negotiation too.
I wouldn't be disclosing your physical condition at the time of interview, out of risk of bias. But I also wouldn't wait until after you start the job, because that screams you not trusting your manager.
I believe if you approach the subject professionally and with honesty, then it's going to be a very productive and positive conversation. And it's totally ok to disclose that you didn't mention the physical condition earlier because you were afraid that it would introduce implicit bias. If it comes to an offer, then you can just disclose that the company agrees that you are the right candidate, and qualified, and you want to start the relationship with full disclosure. Good luck and don't forget to practice!
Ella MolnarWife, Mother of 3, Nerd
147
08/15/19 at 7:31PM UTC
Wait for the employment agreement to be signed by both parties. Work for two weeks, and see how it's going. If you see red flags, you don't want to disclose all this while you're looking for a new role.
After a 2-6 week probation (for you and the company) you speak to your HR representative. Say something like, "I'm so excited to be working for Company X. The work is fulfilling and the team are fantastic. We've had ups and downs, of course, but I'm confident I'm going to have a successful career here. I've gotten some good news at home recently that requires some accommodations, and I want to start discussion now to see how we can best meet everyone's needs. I am going to have a baby in late January / early February (whenever is true for you), and I'd like to start putting together a plan now for how we can modify my work load for the last month before delivery to make it easy for my co-workers to take over should Baby come early, without over-burdening the team while I'm able to work. I'd also like to discuss the best way to resume my duties when my leave is over, with least disruption to the team. I could also use some advice on announcing to the office, and whether it's appropriate to bring in donuts or run a guess-baby's-weight-and-length pool to bring the team into the fun. When's a good time to have a meeting to discuss this?"
I did the donuts thing. I bought donuts, told the team there were donuts, and put up a picture of the sonogram with a note, on the inside of the lid of the box: "Eat up! I don't want to be the only one around here getting fat!"
I recommend you NOT run a guess baby's birth date and time pool. That's just asking a bunch of people to guess how your body is going to do natural things. Baby's weight and length are just as fun, and a lot less personal. People like "rooting for" a particular day that has meaning to them -- with weight and length, people will "root for" big babies, and maybe you can just joke with them like, "Nice guess... I see you're tired of being the biggest baby here? [wink wink]" or "You wish this pain on me now, but if you win, I'm counting on you to carry him/her around the office when I visit during maternity leave."
Six Figure Salary CoachLet me help you add 5 figures to your pay, today
947
08/15/19 at 7:01PM UTC
I fully agree to wait until you have an offer (and started the job). I was in the same position not too long ago. It's hard. My sister was in the same boat as well. Was given a verbal offer. She disclosed, out of respect, that she was expecting and the offer was never followed up in writing. She was ghosted. It shouldn't happen this way - but it does. You need to look out for you here. I always feel gross saying that but companies don't NEED to hire you. Don't give them a reason to pass on you when it's a short term leave.
Carrie TopolskiEmpowering women and beyond!
2.34k
08/15/19 at 6:38PM UTC
I agree to wait until they make the offer. They can't be bias if they don't know. Besides... what if you don't get an offer? You should go in as if you were not and then when they make the offer you can bring it up because then you know they're serious about you.
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