I'm a little worried about my friend...

Question

My friend recently cut things off with her fiance for personal reasons she is a little quiet about. Its been about two months and I text or call her everyday, but she's been avoiding me and my other friends' invitations to spend time together. What can I do to get her out of the house? She works remote and I'm pretty sure she has been completely avoiding social interaction. Or should I leave her alone?

Leader362265 · Answer

I agree with Lady Waya, now is the time to REALLY be a friend & check up on her welfare.  Show up at the house unexpectedly in her normal non-business hours, bring healthy food & CHOCOLATE (or some other treat she can't resist).  She & her house may be a mess or she may be fine, but she'll probably be embarrassed by you just stopping by unannounced.  Just let her know you care & were worried about her--hopefully she'll open up more with you there, be a nudge, if you have to.  If she does seem really depressed, ask if she's seeing a counselor/therapist; if not, can her PCP refer to one or does she need help finding one. Thank you for being a friend.

Waya · Answer

I'd be concerned about your friend. Grief and depression can cause people to pull away and stop communicating. I agree that maybe reaching out to family if you know them could be good. And I'd normally never just show up at someone's house, but this is something in the way of a welfare check.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe she is in the process of grieving. Grieving includes anger so maybe she's just going through a weird stage. I wouldn't take it personally but showing that you're there for her in some other way might help.

Girly Girl · Answer

Cutting off an engagement is a pretty big deal and without knowing more about your relationship with your friend, I'd say that everything she is doing in her behavior is signaling that she needs space. It's too bad that she's not just explicitly saying it but maybe she doesn't want to be confrontational or isn't the best at communicating. I think you can be supportive by sending flowers or sending her a surprise and if you get really concerned, perhaps you can contact someone you know might be in touch with her like her family (if you know them). Hopefully it all works out...

Anonymous · Answer

I would be livid if my friend just stopped talking to me. That's no way to handle a friendship. Not cool.

Anonymous · Answer

Do you now the personal reasons as to why she cut off the wedding?

Anonymous · Answer

Just let her know you're there for her, whenever she's ready.  I did something similar when I had a miscarriage.  I just wanted space, and I didn't want to talk about it, or be with anyone, not even my husband!  It took me a looong time (2 years) to talk about it, but I finally did.  And my friends who were just there for me, with a hug, and knowing I could reach out to them if I needed to, without them being mad at me for withdrawing, meant the world to me.  That's a true friend.  They don't ask or expect anything from you.  They're just there.

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