long distance relationships with friends

Question

As I've gotten older, I've become much worse at keeping in touch with my friends (and even some family members) who don't live near me. I would really like to be better about it, because it makes me sad to feel like I'm not as close to these people or have no idea what's going on in their lives most of the time. Does anyone have tips for being a good long-distance friend?

Anonymous · Answer

I'm the worst at keeping in touch especially since all my college friends live in Boston. Social media is the best way for me to keep in contact. Sometimes I'll find a really funny or relatable post on Facebook or instagram and copy the link and send to everyone I wish I kept more in touch with. The ones who respond back i'll spark a conversation with and the other ones who don't I know are busy and will get back to me at their own time. It goes both ways!

Cassy Lombardi · Answer

I would say a regular phone call is a great way to stay in touch (that and just keeping up with each other on social media). Also, one of my long-distance friends always sends me cards or little trinkets around holidays or birthdays or when I just need some extra support, and it always makes me so happy :)

Another thing that comes to mind is taking a trip out to see them, especially if they're living somewhere that's on your bucket list!

R.E. Gast · Answer

1) Keeping active on social media and making a point to check in on people and comment on their accomplishments / life events makes them notice that you remember them. It helps maintain connections.
2) Calling family members on the weekends or when you're pretty sure they'll be free can be nice.
3) I like making cards and mailing them to friends that I care about but haven't seen in a while, or to friends who I've noticed (usually on social media) have had a string of bad days and seem like they could use a lift. Snail mail never fails to bring a smile to recipients, and it's something everyone has time for.
4) I made a lot of weekend trips to see family and friends. So much that my friends in town joke that they never see me (oops!). Comes with having eight siblings, I suppose. Whether it's a movie with my siblings/friends, going out to eat with my mother-in-law, a destination race with a sibling, or just stopping by to chat with a friend, planning an event that you and someone else both enjoy can be fun.

Side note: remember that everyone is busy. Some people like a lot of advanced notice for visits and even calls. Some people love spontaneity and brief stopping-bys. For me the trickiest part is making sure I'm not inconveniencing someone. If you're not sure how a friend or family member operates at that level, best bet would be to assume they need a lengthy advanced notice and adjust as you learn more =)

long distance relationships with friends

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