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Lenna
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500
Dog mom. Super into wellness, biking & reading
02/12/20 at 5:30PM UTC
in
Lifestyle & Relationships

Anyone choose to have a separate bed from their partner? I am so on board.

I know we think of like 50s TV shows, or our parents who may not cosleep because of snoring, restless legs, etc, but after a few partnerships I realized sleeping in your own bed is really the only way to get solid sleep (IMO). I'm still in my 20s, but I don't think it's the death of romance to have separate beds...my partners have either all snored, used APAP machines, had tiny bladders, or have been restless sleepers. Sacrificing sleep to be near someone seems like a crap exchange. Thoughts? Opinions? Anyone agree? Disagree?

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KATRINE CHOW
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236
Tech Enthusiast | Woman In Games
02/21/20 at 1:27PM UTC
We're both introverts in that we value our privacy and recharge much more quickly when we're on our own. We've always slept on different beds and often in different rooms. This led to less arguments and more restful sleep. We occasionally share a bed when we're traveling but we make sure to get the California King so we still have plenty of space between us. I think each couple is different. What works for us may not work for many others. I'm actually writing this as my other half is snoring away in another room :)
JB09718
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332
02/18/20 at 8:30PM UTC
We currently sleep apart whenever my husband works long shifts. I am pregnant and constantly restless at night and he has to wake up at 5am for work. He will usually sleep in our gu st room though. My grandparents actually used to have two twin beds. During the day they would push them together and have a king bed but separate them at night.
Alice Johnson
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649
Computer nerd-ish, travel lover, connector
02/18/20 at 3:36PM UTC
Great question! What are you and your partners "love language"? If neither one of you care for touch" then I would say why not!? Yes, sleeping next to each other brings people closer together, but it sounds like for you it may not work that way which is fine! I would, however recommend that you remember to incorporate touch throughout the day since it is not apart of your sleep routine. This doesnt have to be anything crazy, but a 30 second hug, or holding hands while looking into each others eyes will help TREMENDOUSLY. Maybe even a soft touch as they walk past you. Without touch, you may find that you "just lose interest or "the spark!". Good luck!
Katie Henderson Ladyboss752675
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757
I am an expert in all things visual.
02/18/20 at 2:24PM UTC
Your question made me a little sad, remembering how contentedly I could sleep with ONE of my four husbands. I guess one out of four is acceptable.
Jennifer Hyduk
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155
02/12/20 at 8:34PM UTC
A nice balance of both would be great. I had a pretty large surgery last year and my husband slept in the guest room for about 4 weeks and I gotta admit...I kinda liked it. The room stayed super clutter free, I could keep the window open, watch TV as late I wanted. It was REALLY nice. But I do like to hear him breathing next to me too so...
Anonymous
02/12/20 at 7:16PM UTC
I actually feel completely the opposite. I personally get much better sleep with my partner next to me. Also, because we both work such long hours that is one of the only times during the week where we can actually come together without anything else to do or think about and connect, even if for a 5 minute conversation while laying in bed. My partner snores but I have gotten used to it and it doesn't bother me at all. I guess to each their own..
Anonymous
02/13/20 at 1:20PM UTC
I feel the same way. We don't work long hours, but when we do sleep apart for work trips, I never get a restful sleep. It's comforting to know he's next to me.
South Paw Lilly
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13
02/12/20 at 6:59PM UTC
We switched to separate beds about 10 years ago, and we won't go back! Even at hotels we get two beds. We sleep so much more soundly apart. Plus, it adds a level of fun when one of us crawls into the other's bed... ?
Anonymous
02/12/20 at 6:46PM UTC
I've read a few articles about how sleeping next to someone brings emotional benefits (because you're feeling safe and loved) but definitely decreases overall sleep quality. If you can find other ways to foster that emotional response without sleeping in the same bed, then I think go for the separate beds! It's worth sleeping well.
Ever Joy
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17
working girl mom looking to make an impact
02/12/20 at 6:38PM UTC
my husband-in-training and I sleep separately during the week. (I snore, our toddler climbs into our bed, he's a light sleeper and operates heavy equipment so his rest is so necessary). It started with separate blankets (I'm also a blanket hog lol) which was a game-changer! But since moving beds, it's really benefits our whole family - it hasn't affected our romance either. Some people think it's sad, but we have the rest of our lives to share (or not) our bed.
Jennifer Hyduk
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155
02/12/20 at 5:47PM UTC
I would LOVE to do this and have actually saved so many cute two bed room options on my Pinterest. My husband sleeps soundly but I'm the one that tosses and turns and fights the dog for covers so to not have to worry about this would be fine with me.
Mimi Bishop
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1.33k
Biz+Career Coach for Modern Gen X Women
02/12/20 at 8:29PM UTC
Are you kidding, I have a separate ROOM. And I LOVE it! Highly, recommend. :)
Anonymous
02/13/20 at 1:01PM UTC
I have my own room too. I love it. He is up half the night watching tv or sleeping with the tv on. But I got to have total quiet and darkness. Sometimes I do awaken and read for a while though. But I do not disturb anyone. As a plus since I have my own room, I have my own bathroom too. I love it.
Mimi Bishop
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1.33k
Biz+Career Coach for Modern Gen X Women
02/13/20 at 5:54PM UTC
Are we married to the same guy? LOL Oh, own bathroom, that sounds divine too!

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