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Carly Zinderman
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315
Conscientious and timely Content Provider
12/11/19 at 4:03PM UTC
in
Lifestyle & Relationships

What stuff is sexist that your partner doesn’t notice?

Back when we we’re dating, people would ask me, but not my husband, when we were getting married. Or ask me, not him, to hold babies. My women friends have gotten grief for dating in the workplace while the men they date don’t. What are some of your shared unequal experiences?

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Laura Scalone
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212
New Mom looking for New Career Path
12/18/19 at 9:27PM UTC
My husband is a self-proclaimed feminist, but in all honesty, he has no idea how much effort it takes on my part to clean up after him. I can tell him that he needs to participate in household duties, and he'll say that just doesn't notice things like I do. Wanna know why? Because boys are not raised to clean up, they just get to play. So, he can't seem to figure out why, now, as a grown man, he's required to rinse his own dishes and put them in the dishwasher on his own. Or why I don't do an Easter egg hunt for all his socks before I do the laundry.
Anonymous
12/12/19 at 9:08PM UTC
Household chores being designated to a gender. For example, he takes care of the outside of the house, and I take care of the inside of the house. Not saying I'm dying to mow the lawn, but I also wouldn't hate for him to clean the bathrooms every now and then!
Courtney Klein
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688
Security Professional
12/12/19 at 8:41PM UTC
"So, what does your boyfriend do for work?" I don't mind answering this question so long as whomever is asking it has already asked about what *I* do for work as well -- the biggest problem, however, is that I've never heard anybody ask any of my partners "so, what does your girlfriend do for work?" In my last relationship, especially, this was pretty striking because I work in a fairly niche industry that most people don't understand so, it always leads to more conversation; for the first 2 years of our relationship had a really bad ass job; and I actually ENJOY what I do, whereas he did not...
Lady Pele
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3.96k
Retired Project Manager
12/12/19 at 7:14PM UTC
Getting mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Although that was acceptable in the 50's and perhaps into the 60's, it's outdated as we approach 2020. It's as if I'm not a person in my own right. Also, buying my car with only my job/salary/credit taken into consideration and the dealership had the paperwork set up for him to sign.
Courtney Klein
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688
Security Professional
12/12/19 at 8:39PM UTC
Ho.Ly.Crap. They had the paperwork for HIM? That is ABSURD!
Anonymous
12/11/19 at 8:03PM UTC
Definitely the same with the getting married question!
Anonymous
12/11/19 at 6:57PM UTC
Same with the getting married question! And it comes from everyone - family, friends, coworkers. I always get asked but I think he's gotten that comment 1 time (I get it every month or so lol)
Anonymous
12/11/19 at 6:45PM UTC
Talking about buying a house and he always mentions he wants a "man cave," aka a finished basement... why a "man" cave?! I want a cave too! I always correct him, it won't be referred to as a "man cave," so long as I live there!! :)
Amanda Neighbours
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454
HR Executive in the great state of Georgia!
12/12/19 at 4:49PM UTC
A "she shed" - just hope no one burns it down like Cheryl's She Shed. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, google the State Farm commercial for Cheryl's She Shed.) :) :) :)
Vivi-Lou
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214
Digitalization Consultant in GER
12/11/19 at 8:54PM UTC
I feel you there! I don't like the phrasing of "man cave" as to me it implies the house is a women's territory and the poor man needs a space where he can retreat to. Ever thought about including yourself* (*men requesting such) into the interior design of the whole house?! Then this topic would never even remotely be an issue.
Anonymous
12/11/19 at 7:27PM UTC
Haha, I like that mentality!
Anonymous
12/11/19 at 5:19PM UTC
This has become a recent issue between me and my boyfriend, but I feel like a lot of times I am the relationship manager. He usually does whatever I ask him to do in order to get tasks / things done like trip planning, but it is never in the reverse. I really loved this comic that was released a few years back called You Should Have Asked and I've used that to explain to him how much it annoys me. https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/
Courtney Klein
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688
Security Professional
12/12/19 at 8:44PM UTC
I really like that explanation of the Mental Load. Gonna save this one for next time I need it.

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