I enjoy journal writing. I don’t know, how I come off, so Blah! here I go...
give a Lil gal a break... will ya?... come on?... (Boston area) (people yelling out the window, listening to my thoughts lol) but if you can just imagine. One day, you are just got to imagine, what you want.
what you need. and how can you get that in the right manner that will benefit others?
There's one thing I feel, that must be done regularly is exercising. It all started when I saw my mom tune to Billy Blanks. As I stand there in the background by the stairs looking down in the TV room, I see her happy, dancing to the Intro music to the Title: The Ultimate Total Body Workout for Men and Woman; under the images, it read, "get fit, lose weight, have fun, be strong." My mom had the original when he first released his TAE-BO and had the 11x Tae Bo VHS tapes sent by mail.
I really enjoyed hearing Billy Blanks say, "reach for your higher power". When I'm on my knees doing a leg up and down method like (Position: dog left pee method) Yes, after doing 1 set of 8 I often feel like giving up. But listening to Billy Blanks words when I was 11 yrs. old, inspires me to push forward. He remains on my mind as a great speaker and fitness trainer.
After watching a ton of videos on YouTube of many moms were able to lose the weight after having twins. I decided I would do the same. I had a goal of 110 lbs. and weighed in at 205lbs. I drop the 50 lbs. in 10 months. Also, it was very important for me to lose weight because I needed to be 180 lbs. to have surgery for a tummy tuck. After breastfeeding, I was not happy with the appearance. Also, I started a new relationship since me and my children’s father did not get along too much during my pregnancy. So, I moved on. I got engaged quickly, determined to move on with my life. My now husband has a kid like mentally, what I mean is he likes to have fun, he’s adventurous, Of course, ha-ha that comes with a cost. If you want nice things, you must work for those nice things. Unfortunately, my husband has shown me that, in a way that was piercing to me.
Piercing is like placing something inside that you did not expect but you know where you’d like it to be. Love burns. Real love. Real love is something that pushes you to the highest limit you never saw yourself doing. Exceeding your expectations. I was not expecting to drop 50lbs, I was just expecting to lose 20 lbs., I was not watching my weight. However, I was watching what I am at given times.
Yes, there is a formula, that you can bypass. There’s always an exception. So, when I hear people say that it cannot be done like this. I say okay. In my head, ok, watch me. Watch me school you. Cause I plan to teach for a living.
After the weight loss, I did go for surgery because I was not happy with the loose skin near my tummy area, and All over. I looked online and seen a sale on getting cosmetic surgery and I thought wow, Mommy do-over, oh that sounds great! I have twins, boy, and girl, I mean I figured why not? Days before surgery, I was 153lbs stepping on their scale when I arrived at 8435 SW 24th St Ste 102, Miami, FL 33155, Seduction Cosmetic Center. Mr. Rodriguez was supposed to be my doctor but end up being Dr. James Worrell. Pros and Cons. Pro: no more flab, and I look good in my clothes, and I feel much sexier and feeling much more confident. Cons, after 30 days from surgery, I experienced pain in my left breast, due to injury from cleaning my car. I hit my breast with the car door and was informed by MGH Doctors that they found they just see fluid in the area. and they reinsured me that it will recover soon. I suffered in pain for 7 months with Capsular Contracture. When I felt like I had enough of the pain I told my husband, I this is it. I think I’m going to die. He suggested we go to Boston Medical Center the next morning. I was going to give up on myself because I felt lost. I went to MGH multiple times and appointment after appointment and they couldn't do anything to help me.
I'm glad I went to Boston Medical Center, and they SAVED ME! I never prayed so hard in my life, asking for forgiveness, asking him to help me from drowning. Watching Pain relieving methods on YouTube, of how to cope with pain. The pain was so much, it felt like I was going underwater. I remember crying to sleep.
I shake my head now questioning how I made it alive. I felt myself slipping especially during bedtime, I could not sleep comfortably, and the pain was unbearable, even the pain pills didn’t do much, which was crazy. I either ran out because they didn’t want to give me anymore Vicodin. I thought they seriously wanted to let me suffer. WOW. It was a slap in the face, Reality Check, that you no longer have anything for the pain. In that much pain, no one should suffer. NO ONE.
So, another PRO would be I learned my lesson, research your doctor and save something aside if your plans don’t make it. Always have a PLAN B, always have a: “what if I lose that?”, what will happen if worst comes to worst, what will you do?
All I was planning for is: I MUST HAVE IT CAUSE I WORKED FOR IT SO I SHOULD HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT CAUSE I BELIEVE I DESERVE IT ATTITUDE, AND man when things went left, the only thing I could do is go back to square one, and keep on walking and figure out this plan how I can inspire others to go for their dreams, and be humble. I thought I could handle as many bullets as possible. After 6 weeks from surgery, I decided to go back to the gym, take care of my kids and other children. I felt guilty being away from my children for 3 weeks in Florida, and not being able to take care of them. So, I asked my children's father if he could bring them since I believe I could have taken care of them and myself regardless of the given circumstances. mentally, I said I'm strong, I can handle any pain. But that I was not prepared. When you're on that much stress and pressure to raise two other human beings in the right way, teaching them the right ways always, and live with parents and siblings, it can drive you crazy! Especially after surgery. So yes! I had to run, I had to release myself from the Drama. I don't like it when you're trying to show your love to someone and then you go above and beyond, and that person you live with, doesn't even recognize your work? can be diminishing. So, I end up losing my old self and fell into another person that I'm proud of. I mean, it was hard for a moment to wake up every day at 0330am in the morning to get ready to go to the gym in the wintery cold months to running in the hot sunny days, the journey was worth the ride.
March 20, 2020, I’m 5'2. 148lbs and I have remarkably nice abs, due to walking, running and sleeping when suited. I fit a size 4-6 in most jeans, I wear a small in forever 21 leggings, and most shirts and I believe I have nice curves, but that's me. You could feel something different. Everybody has their own opinion, to each its own.
Who initiates the Fire: My children, My Parents, My husband, and my siblings?
All I’m saying is its much more fun, in the bedroom after having lost the weight. That’s for sure. BIG TIME!!! Sex is great, but it's not everything. But it’s one of my boosters to keep me going. To Strive for more goodness out of life. Life is not difficult, it's really whose surrounding you, that might make it seem painful, but if you keep reading and have a good attitude and have faith. Honestly, I think you can go anywhere with a great attitude, but it all starts with, what are you thinking about?
Honestly, doing a 30 minute to 1 hr. walk or run to every day, YOU WILL lose weight and feel great after the outside experience.
I’ve been always curious about the mind since I was a child I would always ask, mom what’s the matter? And she would always say, it’s nothing dear, I’m just tired, I would hear her say. I didn’t want to say that to my children, so I would bend backward and spend 2-4 hours outside, running, walking with them, educating them on the outdoors. I didn’t know what I know now. If my mom had spoken to me about all the good and bad in her life maybe I would have been more understanding.
Keeping one foot in front of the other and now life does get better, you just must open your eyes and see. Meaning read, do your research, look for ways to inspire others. I currently go to North Shore Community College to refresh my IT skills. I lost my vision in IT, raising children, and wanted to create a blog about my experience
as far as remembering anything at ITT Technical Institute
I ask people to go for your dreams, we only live once. Let us embrace it.
and eat how you want without the guilt trip or shame. I do eat out regularly because we live in a fast-moving environment and I feel like, why should I be preventing myself from what God created us to have? Abundance, I, I mean, you can't just live a life eating the same salad every day, I feel you should have a variety of things you might want to eat or try out. If you don't try how else are you going to ever know?
I feel you must move with the environment, like the wave in the sea. God did not plant us here to sit on our butts all day!
LET ME SAY THIS AGAIN! Walk outside your neighborhood if it’s safe to do so. Don't complain, take the risk! Move Your Butt, just try it, clean your house, do stuff that makes you happy, instead of suffering from someone you don't really want to associate with.... ugh.
You what I don't understand? why do people who go to church complain about everything in the church, but they don't want to fix the problem themselves? Lol, I'm sorry but me too, I'm in the works of finding out how I can benefit this planet we call Earth. This planet that the sun shines upon us, every single day, and we depend on the sun so that we can enjoy the outdoors. But to have a day where there's no sun, will be a very cold lost day. I only mention God, because I love God, and If you don't know who God is, I would recommend visiting a neighborhood church near you. I'm no preacher, nor am I certified to speak of him, but I would do your own research. But I will say this, you must believe in your heart. listen to your gut. You must believe in yourself. Believe. Believe. my friend. Believe.
Honestly, sometimes you just got to get out of your comfort zone, and step outside and enjoy nature. Enjoy the sun, peacefully landing on your soft skin as you look up, say: Thank you, for I can walk on my own. Today, I have the will to do anything I want. Thank you, for your freedom. And the ones who aren't, locked up, man sorry?... Mixed up in the wrong crowd, can literally drain you. Trust me, I know.
So, I walk, to release any tension, I may be feeling throughout the day. You know the devil likes to use frustration to make you do things you would not think of doing, all because of frustration, annoyance, the moment you desire something really exciting or beneficial in your eyes, like sleeping, relaxing or just zoning out, During those times I find myself reading, or writing or listening to something that takes away that vibe.
It is about helping yourself first before helping others. If you are not right in the head, how can you help others?
I'm in the works of self-development, learning who I am, and where do I want to go. Because living to paycheck to paycheck right now isn't so yeah. you get the picture. But learning to me is fun. I'm enjoying myself. Really!
I really enjoy watching TED / https://www.ted.com/talk
videos. They're really entertaining, and you learn from them, you gain insight into what is surrounding you. It's really a thriller for me. lol. Call me weird, if you must. Though I love people, sometimes I find myself distancing myself from everyone cause a lot of times I feel they don't understand my desires or wants. Though, I often question, my own wants, every single day so I walk.
ONE thing first, I would like to make millions of dollars so that I could create a community to help the homeless, and young adults who have nowhere to turn to.
A community where people live alone so that they could better understand themselves, as well as they will have gatherings that they must be willing to participate in, in so many days if they feel this is not a good suite for them. They are no longer welcomed. You must decide what you want, in this community. It’s no, I want to be right, or I want to be wrong.
Be right, you get right. Right
to live for free under given working circumstances