I know the typical answer is NO, but I wonder if time, distance, maturity or any other factor can make friendship with an ex acceptable.
This might seem nuanced, but I'm struggling with the idea of going from being just "friendly" to being real friends with my ex - the kind of friends that don't only hang out in groups but meet up one on one and talk and support each other.
I've been on good terms with my ex for years. We have mutual friends and common interests so we see each other at birthdays, dinners, etc. My spouse has met the ex multiple times.
Our romantic relationship was both significant and long ago. We dated throughout college. It ended 9 years ago.
It recently came to my attention that the ex is going through a hard time and definitely in need of a friend. It made me realize that I want to be this kind of friend to him. I think we've demonstrated that our personal, non-romantic connection stands the test of time so I feel qualified and almost compelled to try to support him. In general, I want to reconnect in a more substantial way. We made plans to meet up one-on-one.
When I informed my spouse I planned to meet this person, he let me know he disapproved and felt uncomfortable with the idea. His issue seems to stem from the fact that the ex is "a single, lonely guy in NY" and of course, that there is a romantic past between us.
I want to respect my partner's wishes. I also want to be a friend to someone who needs one who I care about.
What do you think, FGB'ers?