Is it ever ok to be GOOD friends with an ex?
I know the typical answer is NO, but I wonder if time, distance, maturity or any other factor can make friendship with an ex acceptable.
This might seem nuanced, but I'm struggling with the idea of going from being just "friendly" to being real friends with my ex - the kind of friends that don't only hang out in groups but meet up one on one and talk and support each other.
Some details:
I've been on good terms with my ex for years. We have mutual friends and common interests so we see each other at birthdays, dinners, etc. My spouse has met the ex multiple times.
Our romantic relationship was both significant and long ago. We dated throughout college. It ended 9 years ago.
It recently came to my attention that the ex is going through a hard time and definitely in need of a friend. It made me realize that I want to be this kind of friend to him. I think we've demonstrated that our personal, non-romantic connection stands the test of time so I feel qualified and almost compelled to try to support him. In general, I want to reconnect in a more substantial way. We made plans to meet up one-on-one.
When I informed my spouse I planned to meet this person, he let me know he disapproved and felt uncomfortable with the idea. His issue seems to stem from the fact that the ex is "a single, lonely guy in NY" and of course, that there is a romantic past between us.
I want to respect my partner's wishes. I also want to be a friend to someone who needs one who I care about.
What do you think, FGB'ers?
Browse recent posts
Returning from maternity leave and sales commission
I live in Ireland and have just returned to work after 9 month’s maternity leave which is standard here. I am a sales operations manager working for a sales VP and 25% of my salary is based on sales commission and what the global team make. It is now the 4th quarter in my company’s fiscal year which is the most lucrative and the team are on track to do the best quarter yet. Instead of assigning me a prorated quota for Q4, he told me he would pay out 100% and cap me at that. So while I appreciate that I’ll be paid 100%, I don’t have an opportunity to exceed that. Fair or not?
1 Like • 1 Comment
Interior office tips needed.
I just moved into a new office and for the first time ever I'm in a completely interior space with no windows anywhere in sight. I've added plants and grow-lights and overall I'm pretty pleased with the space (and the location is awesome in every other way).
I'm having trouble tracking time and it's disconcerting to walk outside with no clue what the weather is doing. I've been looking for a nice clock that shows the weather from a wifi connection to a weather app or website, but everything I'm finding involves use of sensors. Obviously, I can't place sensors around my workplace, and I'm deep enough inside that they may well not work even if I could figure out where to place one.
Any other ideas or recommendations to bring the outside inside, so to speak?
1 Like • 4 Comments
The execs at my company are giving me “weekend homework” and I’m getting sick of it.
Recently, three different execs have approached me on Friday afternoons with requests for project planning/research to be done over the weekend, with a report back on Monday.
I’m in mid-management. I don’t report directly to any of these execs. My direct boss does not work weekends, nor do they require me to do so.
None of the projects I’ve been given thus far are critical to operations, nor are they really within my scope or skill set. It’s nothing I’m unable to do, it’s just a stretch of my usual duties and areas of focus.
On the one hand, I guess I should feel honored that they recognize my abilities, insight, and ideas and are giving me an opportunity to show what I can contribute beyond my JD.
On the other hand, there’s been no explicit mention of opportunities to grow into a larger role or expand my scope and these projects really cut into my time with my husband and son on weekends because I’m either working or feeling anxious, exhausted, and irritated.
It doesn’t feel worth it, frankly - even if there was a big, meaty promotion being offered I’m not sure I’d want it if it meant being consumed by work 24/7.
How can I delicately and professionally decline to work on special projects on my weekends, while not risking the apparent favor of the execs?
5 Likes • 19 Comments
Is it normal for managerial professional roles to have to provide a three month notice of intent to leave or change jobs internally?
I’m finding that positions I’m applying for are not willing to wait three months to onboard me.
2 Likes • 9 Comments
Are the companies listed within the dropdown list on the jobs tab the only companies that have posted jobs?
If so, where can I find a list of all of the FBG employers (posting job or not), so that I can follow them and review their job boards? Thanks.
0 Likes • 0 Comments
Hi everyone ,
Are there any good organizations considerable enough for Military widows , who want to work back .I lost my man in uniform in 2021 and after that got into VMware that was very well going off but with VMware's sudden acquisitions , my job is at risk and I am looking for new role.
I am a functional QA tester working at P-2 band. please someone can help and guide me .I have 2 kids 4 n 10 year to be taken care of .
Thanks
0 Likes • 5 Comments
Share your insight
Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.