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Just a single mom
It is not about white or black. Sometimes, it is too risky to hire a single parent.
Maggie BBusiness and Data Analysis Consultant
983
10/23/19 at 5:14PM UTC
Pretty sure this type of discrimination is illegal
User deleted comment on 10/21/19 at 2:26PM UTC
LeshekaNew Yorker....
25
10/21/19 at 12:51PM UTC (Edited)
Why is it too risky to hire a single mom? If anything I would think it would be a better fit. Knowing that this woman is handling all of the shared responsibilities on her own to ensure that her child/ren have everything needed and more, means that she's more dedicated in her role. She knows that losing her employment is something that she can't gamble with so she's going to work harder, smarter and wiser. I don't see the risk. No, it shouldn't be about "white and black". But, sometimes it is. For you to even mention that makes me believe that it might be in your eyes. Think about what you're posting. Whatever your status is, I hope that you are able to maintain that with your warped mentality.
Anonymous
10/21/19 at 12:44PM UTC
So many thoughts:
1. Every employee you hire is a risk. You have to ask yourself, have I created a work environment where people are not allowed to have personal lives? For a single mom, her kids may be her personal life, but everyone has things that are more important to them than work. You should aim to create positions that allow people to be human, and set their own priorities. This view is discriminatory, short-sighted, biased, and WRONG.
If this thought ever crosses a potential employer’s mind, I hope they tell me to my face, so I can rescind my application. They don’t deserve my time or my talent.
I am a proud, badass single Mom.
Finally, this statement is illegal. I hope they track you down & destroy your business.
Ciara WilkesThe Master of Sales and Marketing
203
10/21/19 at 4:45PM UTC
I like you! Salute to all the badass single moms!!!! We will make it, and our kids will be more successful than we are, because of our sacrifice and love.
LeshekaNew Yorker....
25
10/21/19 at 12:49PM UTC
Exactly.
Sharmisa Ford10 years of logistical managerial experience
25
10/19/19 at 3:33PM UTC
I feel like people who aren’t parents feel as though that statement is ok to say and also feel it’s accurate. I think they feel solid in their stance by making such a statement. And it’s truly unfortunate that people feel and think that way.
LeshekaNew Yorker....
25
10/21/19 at 12:52PM UTC
Exactly!! It's unfortunate and pure ignorant.
Rita Mitjans
15
10/19/19 at 3:03PM UTC
This is just another form of bias. It’s not just hiring it also impacts advancement. And unfortunately it’s one that negatively impacts women most. As someone already pointed out, there are a multitude of single “dads” that are rewarded and celebrated for taking on that responsibility. It would be interesting to look at hiring and promotions data and cross-reference that with marital/parental status (perhaps a worthwhile study for LeanIn.org). Regardless, asking personal status questions in an interview and using that information to make a hiring decision is discriminatory and unethical. The challenge is when the single mom is already employed and interviews internally for a promotion- that information is already known and much more difficult to determine what really drove the management decision.
As a single mom for over 20 years, I can attest to the fact my drive, ambition and work ethic were only heightened as a result. I worked long hours, traveled and performed as well or better than my peers. I mastered how to adapt to changing situations, to manage my time effectively and to integrate my life and my work so that both could thrive. I’ll hire those characteristics any day of the week.
Anonymous
10/21/19 at 3:13PM UTC
My employer hasn't even used some vague excuse as to why I've been passed up over and over again for promotions. They come right out and say the need to know I'm "reliable" despite my record of being one of the highest performers and rarely taking time off. Meanwhile early 20 something team members last one to two years because they have the ability to move or change commutes for more money and better positions easily. It's blatant discrimination but it seems to be accepted because of individuals like OP.
LeshekaNew Yorker....
25
10/21/19 at 12:53PM UTC
Exactly!!!!!
Anonymous
10/19/19 at 2:54PM UTC
There are many categories that are risky, if you wish to stereotype. Some don't want to take a "risk" on mature people either. ;-)
Liz KepnerComing Soon
28
10/19/19 at 2:14PM UTC
This is discriminatory and wrong
Anonymous
10/17/19 at 5:28PM UTC
"too risky to hire a single parent" - that is the biggest oxymoron I have ever heard. Who needs a job more? Who would be more willing to take any sort of hardship to ensure her child is supported?
Does anyone ask a man if he is the sole support of his children? If they do and he says yes then he is given a parade and the red carpet is rolled out when he has to go to a school function.
SunnySuper
103
10/19/19 at 2:53PM UTC
Exactly! And I AM a sole provider single mom. And I bust my rear end at work...because I care about my job, because I NEED my job, and because my parents instilled in me an amazing work ethic. I make sure my son and I are fed nutritious food and integrate things in our lives to keep us healthy...because it's good for us and because I miss less work and he misses less school that way. My assistant, who is married with an old enough to be home alone son, misses at least 10-12 days per year to "illness" for him or her. We have a pretty relaxed atmosphere, but still... I've missed maybe 3 days total of unplanned absence in almost 4 years. We both work hard, but to penalize me as an employee merely because I am a single mom seems a bit silly given my track record.
Men I know that are single parents have told me they feel guilty bc their bosses give them extra PTO, relaxed schedules, coworkers and neighbors make meals for them and offer to run errands, etc. Not one other single mom I know gets the same consideration. The men are applauded for just keeping the kids alive...women are criticized and discriminated against in the exact same situation.
Can ya tell I'm a bit frustrated? ;-)
Ciara WilkesThe Master of Sales and Marketing
203
10/17/19 at 5:27PM UTC (Edited)
I made a post about this on the main board. I’m glad you posted this, now it’s more understandable to others about how someone with so much experience and a degree is rejected for being a single mom (black or not)... Thank you for your honesty. It’s not right, but now others who may have doubted me, sees the truth behind the interview.
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