Outcast of the office

Question

I really want to leave this company but can’t find a job that pays as well as close to home. I’m miserable though.

Balanced604777 · Answer

Honestly? I don’t think it’s worth the battle. I’ve done it, and the only way to be happy is to get out. They’ll be happy to see you leave. You’ll be happy you don’t have to put up with them any longer. (ETA: btw, I’d be very clear about why you’re leaving, at least verbally—they know how they talk about you, so they’ll know exactly what you’re saying. But in your letter of res, be professional and brief.)

Gina Diamante · Answer

Well, you’ve got harassment and a hostile work environment. And video evidence though in many states secret recording is not admissible. Check your states labor laws, particularly regarding fair employment. Be ready to file a whistleblower complaint. Be ready for things to feel a bit worse at first then get better as you find something else. Trucking and logistics; I’m thinking that could translate to trade show management. Whatever you do, don’t let those jerks get away with what they’re doing.

Tammy Hager · Answer

I have been where you are and am currently unemployed due to downsizing of my dept. I'm finding that being out of a toxic environment is very enjoyable even though my paycheck was amazing!  I have limits on how far I will commute to my next job. 
And I've came to the conclusion that I will take a cut in pay if I like the job and it's closer to home... An hour & half commute to work to make more money is not worth it to me. I would rather be home instead of stuck in traffic.

Anonymous · Answer

I worked in a toxic environment for a little over a year, and the funny thing is, I didn't realize what a 'toxic environment' was until I walked out the door.  I've always had  great working relationships w/my coworkers and management and had never experienced this type of environment in my professional career.  As they say, 'there is a first time for everything!' Hopefully this was my first and last!  I'll share an example of how I was regarded by my coworkers and manager:   During our weekly team meeting, my manager addressed everyone and proclaimed, 'Jane (not her real name) deserves an atta girl for making it to work yesterday and holding down the fort! Since she did such a great job  I'm buying lunch for her today!' I could not believe what I was hearing and I'm  sure my mouth was hanging open because, I was at work too, and helped Jane hold the fort down all day.   We were the only employees  at work that day.  You see, it was winter time and we had a snow storm the night before, the roads were in pretty bad shape causing my 45 minute morning commute to be slightly treacherous.  Jane's commute was around 5 minutes and her roads had been treated.  (I still can't believe I actually drove my car to work that morning)  I sat there in stunned disbelief at what I was hearing and not one of my coworkers said a word about me being at work as well.  I knew then it was time to plan my exit strategy.

Anonymous · Answer

I  definitely feel your pain! You deserve to be employed where you are valued and not miserable! We all have things about our job that we dislike, but if it’s unbearable and you do not see it changing MOVE ON! Plan your escape with a clear timeline and get all the benefits you can before you go.

Peg Bittner · Answer

Ladies, Ladies,  I may be out of the work force eight years but I am not out of the human race or the female sector by a long shot.  I thought I had seen the last of male stupidity  but you have proven me wrong.  You also have shown me something I do not like, you are not focused on the most important piece of your career picture.   It is you and your complete health,  These jobs you are describing are destroying your physical and mental well being.  No one no matter what level of any pecking order you are in or financial situation you are in deserves this type of treatment,   It is called, mental and emotional harassment  and it is against the law.  I am a victim of it and I got the better of the situation  by just putting down my pen and computer intake and walking out.  I found a new job via a temp agency that kept creditors at bay while I continued to look full time.  The temp assignments gave me insight into other businesses while they saw first hand what I was capable of doing and willing to learn.   I eventually did find a job on my own and it was one I stayed and grew with for seventeen years.   Get out of those nasty character destroy areas.  You are too good of a person, a wonderful female and an asset to the right company with your skills. The companies you are at now are just not that smart enough to appreciate who you are and what you are capable of.

Donna Macdonald · Answer

I think the only thing you can do is look for a new job.   What you describe is most likely illegal but for your health and well-being draw up an exit plan and set goals.  But do start documenting in writing everything including the t-shirt.  Be clear and put down dates - when under stress it is easy to forget things.  If it becomes really brutal and you haven't yet found that better job, go to the EEOC website and file a complaint.  An advisor will contact you and you can decide then if  you will take action.  Until then, keep working your exit plan.

Explorer709996 · Answer

Toxic environments wear on our psyche and reduce our energy. I would suggest 1. File harassment charges, if you live where that is actually enforced, and 2. Find other employment, even if it's not as close to home. Your mental welfare is important and no matter of convenience is worth what you are experiencing.

Anonymous · Answer

Heather! I am with you. I'm not the only female but I am a technical writer for a company that only values software engineers. I'm treated as if I don't matter and I'm not allowed to manage any aspect of my job. My manager is a woman a who is not trained for managing people and doesn't take responsibility for her part in miscommunications and mismanagement.

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