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Anonymous
01/16/20 at 11:23PM UTC
in
Lifestyle & Relationships

I’m Unemployed and My Husband Hates His Job

I lost my job in November and have been trying to find something new. In the meantime, my husband has been slowly growing more and more frustrated at his job. His boss refuses to hire help, so it’s the three of them doing the work of five people. His boss is apparently taking credit for everyone’s work in front of clients, saying he does it all. So, now, my husband wants to quit, but I need him to hang on until I have a job to keep us going. How do I support him through this without losing my mind?

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Anonymous
01/23/20 at 6:58AM UTC
I would suggest that your husband wait for you to find a new role before leaving his job. Good luck. Hopefully you both find something new soon.
Nia-Alyese Rae Boyd
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83
01/18/20 at 6:02PM UTC
My son and daughter-in-law are in the same position, except that they decided that she would work from home- she has an Etsey shop- is in nursing school, and the children are being home-schooled. At one point, my son was looking forward to growing with the company he still works for, but over time, he has become very unhappy there. He has no plan to quit anytime soon, but his wife supports him best by listening-seriously-and by loving him through the rough times...he's always on his feet, always tired, always feeling beat up; I'm sure you know the drill. They work together, as a team, and they PLAN everything while co-prioritizing each of their needs. He's decided to go back to school to prepare for his next career move. That alone, while challenging, illuminates the light at the end of the tunnel. Similarly, in your situation, looking for new work while enduring a job that merely pays the bills is a great pro-active approach. Encourage your husband to talk about his experiences. If you are able to work outside of the home, that could help too. If retraining in another field is a good idea for your hubby, support him in that too. Good luck to both of you.
Anonymous
01/18/20 at 4:06PM UTC
I spent nearly 6 months looking for another job after I was fired due to being disabled, because my former employer claimed I was "let go" for insubordination for failing to stand point, when I had doctors orders to say I was to sit on a stool and not be on my feet for more than a total of 1 hour at a time, since I was in a full walking boot. They even went so far as to try to deny me my unemployment, so I fought back and filed an EEOC complaint against them. It took a while to get through the process but I ended up with a small settlement that was enough to open my own business and give me a couple of months of living expenses. I'm much happier now being my own boss and I'm able to take better control of my own health issues. I have full control now in who I take on for clients, and about 98% of the time I can perform my entire job at home. So, I can get up and move around if I need to.
Anonymous
01/20/20 at 1:27PM UTC
I had the exact same experience. My former employer just declined mediation so the EEOC has moved my case to EEOC Enforcement Unit. I can’t believe the company will want the EEOC investigating them- when did your company settle? Before the investigation ? Or in the midst? Or at the end ? Also what business did you start. I have had dozens of interviews, I’m a high level sales executive but I’m a “ mature worker”. My job is very important to me for financial and emotional reasons but any woman over 50 is “ invisible”. Would love to hear your thoughts
Anonymous
01/21/20 at 5:09AM UTC
In my case they were getting ready to begin the investigation, and they decided to go to mediation. I realized the company was potentially financially unstable given my background having worked for my parents construction company growing up and while in college, so I ended up settling for a lot less than I could have easily received if it had gone and pursued it further. I took part of my settlement and opened up my own small bookkeeping firm. We've discovered since I opened my own business that I'm dealing with some potential health challenges, that will make it nearly impossible for me to ever be able to work as a member of the traditional workforce. However, that doesn't bother me, as I have no intention to ever work for someone else again after how I was treated by my previous employer. I'm also much happier being able to set my own schedule and despite the medical issues I'm currently dealing with I'm still able to work and do what I love. I'm working hard on my health right now, and working as much as I can on my business. I was in my early 40's when I lost my job and fought back. Don't give up. Also, depending on what state you are in, and if you are currently receiving unemployment you may qualify for help with resources to continue your unemployment and begin starting to plan on opening your own business.
Anonymous
01/21/20 at 5:32AM UTC
Thanks for your advice. I’m sorry about your medical issues. But proud of you for starting your own business despite the challenges you faced. Wishing you all the best. God bless those who fight back - it helps us all.
Lynda Birmantas Beam
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60
01/18/20 at 3:59PM UTC
Much easier to get a job when you have one already, he should definitely be looking and interviewing
James Christine Parker
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34
Aspiring Writer & Editor
01/18/20 at 3:54PM UTC
@Mathieu Job hunting with your partner is actually very taxing and difficult. It's not the same as doing so with a friend or a colleague. My partner and I are presently doing this. We usually have great communication. But we're both stressed, and we're trying to offer advice to one another, and things get testy. However, I do agree that they should both be hunting. Just, maybe not "together". Best of luck, Anonymous!!
Mathieu Dutour
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101
Mathematician by training (PhD), working in IT.
01/22/20 at 3:03PM UTC (Edited)
Not been in that situation but both of you should look together for a new job for each of you. Helping each other on this task would be great for both of you.
Anonymous
01/16/20 at 10:30PM UTC
Instead of quitting he should start interviewing elsewhere. Its better to leave a bad job for a new opportunity rather than quitting with no back up plan.
Gina Diamante
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880
News Editor at KPBS, San Diego's PBS/NPR station
01/17/20 at 3:57AM UTC
^^^^ Exactly this. Go over the budget with him and show him what your family needs right now.

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