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Anonymous
11/14/18 at 6:27PM UTC
in
Parenting

Being parents & maintaining a good relationship

My husband and I are planning to have a kid in the next couple of years. This might be silly, but one of my biggest fears is being so consumed with parenting that we stop working on our relationship as much. We want to set up a rule to go on a dinner date at least once a week, and go on a vacation (1 week - 2 weeks) every year without the kids. Is this realistic? Or do you think I'm too worried about this..?

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Anonymous
11/15/18 at 1:58AM UTC
You're not, a lot of relationships do cool down after baby. I make my mom taking care of my baby once a week, so my husband and I can have a nice outing.
Anonymous
11/14/18 at 7:23PM UTC
You're smart to think ahead this way - even if you don't hit those benchmarks, it's good to know that's an area in your life you want to improve/maintain. Bringing Up Bebe is a book that I read way before even thinking about kids and it mentions a little bit about how the French are able to maintain relationships (prioritizing the marriage over the kids).
Marsha331
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11/14/18 at 6:46PM UTC
Not at all! But the fact that you're worried about it means that you'll work on it. Yearly vacation hasn't been something I've ever been able to keep up with, but weekly date nights are important. My husband and I even had a dinner date night once with a newborn in a carrier. Be flexible and don't beat yourself up if you miss one. Your relationship is important. I'd say it's one of the most important things about being a parent is to show your kids how to have a great relationship! Sounds like you've got good ideas about it. Good luck!
Anonymous
11/15/18 at 7:44PM UTC
That's so right-on about not beating yourself up when you miss a date. I also try 1x a week but inevitably work travel or a sick kid throws the good intentions out of whack. I also did the baby carrier thing once and I agree that the key is being somewhat flexible.

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