Debt

Question

At what point in dating did you talk to your SO about the debt you have + how did that conversation go?

Susan Townsend · Answer

The earlier the better in my book. Start the relationship with honesty and transparency.   Can you give any context to the debt... is it college loans or shopping or... ?

M Elizabeth Ingram · Answer

Before we started dating, when we were just friends.  I talk about money/debt/planning with most of my friends.  I think honesty and a plan to take care of the debt go a long way.

Alison Harris · Answer

Money is always such a challenging conversation to have. Some people feel really awkward about talking about money at all, others are totally open. 
My husband and I talked about money and debt within the first six months of our relationship. We had both been previously divorced, our parents had been divorced, we had seen what mingled finances did to people’s relationships and we wanted to both make sure we were on the same page when it came to our personal and financial objectives. 
The fact that I was a single mother was an important factor in our discussions. I had debt from my divorce, I had taken a financial hit when I moved back to California, and I knew that I wasn’t going to “fake” being able to eat out often, go on trips, or indulge in “routine” mani/pedi’s or other maintenance that so many around me could afford. 
It was a VERY uncomfortable conversation for me. I felt like I was a failure, not being able to “keep up with the Jones’,” especially in an area where image was so important. 
Amazingly, he really appreciated my candidness, we walked through our mutual goals, and it made us better and stronger. 
I think there was a lot of growing that happened in that week in our relationship and it made it so much better that we established our objectives early on. 
No matter the type of debt you have, if you want to fix it, there is a way. The person who is your person will help you achieve your goals.

Debt

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