Crying at work

Question

I'd love to get your views on what level of emotion people believe is appropriate to bring into the workplace. I work in HR and have recently seen performance management meetings where someone cried and I had a visceral reaction to it whereas the manager I was accompanying seemed to react in the opposite way. It may be because I came from a very buttoned-up culture in my past company but I worry about what level is appropriate for myself and that my thinking may be outdated. When do people think its ok or not ok to cry at work?

LisaD · Answer

I agree with what Alyson said. It has a lot to do with the culture of the company and what's acceptable. If the employee cries on a regular basis, that's something else to look at and invite the employee into a conversation. 
Brene Brown says ' Leaders must either invest in a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or squander an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.'
I really love this quote from Brene, it highlights the need to address feelings instead of ignore them, because they won't go away by brushing them aside.

Alyson Garrido, Career Coach · Answer

I think it's very important to acknowledge that people have emotions and allow them to express those emotions in an appropriate way. The appropriateness of emotions will likely vary greatly from one person/office/department/company/team to another. As you mentioned, many factors go into how people view these expressions of emotion. Performance discussions, in particular, may bring up a lot of baggage that goes well beyond the office. Many companies have cultural values and norms around caring and bringing your whole self to work. This might mean more outward expressions of emotion than you're used to. If you're at a new company, you might have a chat with the manager you were in that meeting with. Ask them about their reaction and how common this behavior is (from the manager, and the employee.)

Crying at work

You're invited.

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