career comparisons

Question

Does anyone else find they are constantly comparing their career to their friends' careers or even their coworkers? I am constantly feeling like I should be more advanced at this point, should be making more money, should feel more certain about my path / goals....all because I'm looking at what other people are doing. I recognize this link of thinking can be dangerous but I can't seem to stop myself. If anyone else has experienced this...do you have any tips?

Alyson Garrido, Career Coach · Answer

That's a really common concern, Kate. I recommend doing your best to shift your focus inward. Keep a tally of your accomplishments and what you're grateful for. This will remind you of what's going RIGHT with you - I'm certain there are lots of things. A fun exercise is to take a small jar and whenever you have an accomplishment, write it on a post it and put it in the jar. It makes you stop to acknowledge good news, and you can visually see the jar fill up. If you start if for 2019, you can dump out the jar at this time next year and reflect on how awesome you are!

Anonymous · Answer

Comparison is the thief of joy. My advice: Don't compare.. Think about your own successes and be proud of them :)

Julez · Answer

It's hard to NOT pay attention to friends are doing with their jobs. Hearing about about someone's raise, promotion, and cool work perks can make you feel like you're doing something wrong. But the reality is, comparing your job to the jobs of others is a waste of time that leads to unnecessary bitterness.

Anonymous · Answer

Their job probably isn't relevant to yours. Even if you're in the same industry or have the same job at different companies, it's impossible to have the exact same skillset/experience... so comparing is setting yourself up for a disaster. Be proud of what you do!

Kate Solomon · Answer

Thank you, Alyson! I really like the idea. I'm going to do it and tell my friends to do the same!

LEANNE TOBIAS · Answer

I think that everyone compares themselves to colleagues and friends on career progress.  To a degree, that is normal.  But getting obsessive about it? Not good.

Consider your career as only one component in your life.  Other components are family, friends, community work, hobbies, health.  The importance is to be happy across the spectrum, even if one or more areas are not perfect.

One more thing: you probably don’t know about challenges that your friends are facing— the challenges that they don’t disclose. *Don’t compare your inside to their outside.*

It might be that your colleagues and friends are envying you in ways you don’t know about.

GirlBossanova455790 · Answer

My experience! I have worked for about five Companies! They were All different! No matter which Company I worked for My aim is to challenge myself to be the best I can be! When I do progress I continue to challenge myself! This caused me to enjoy what I am doing! I was exited with every Job I had and felt always good wherever I did work!  I do stay at a job for years! But with my accomplishment I do Challenge the Bosses For raises as well AND I do get them (10c,20c, even 25c->this was early on) My Last Job I Stayed There For 32 years working In 5 different departments! I loved Every minute of it! It does Not mean All went smooth! They even wanted to fire me on False Accusations, But Because of my work habit and performance I was untouchable and I Won! BTW I  had many confrontations and I Love this (Attack Without Cause) And in Every Case I was Triumphant! I knew who I was, I knew my goal and the company’s! And I was Very happy with it!

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