Three Things I Learned About Grief/Loss/Pain

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KnowBetter_DoBetter_BeBetter

Wife, Mother, Aunt, Friend, Exec, Minister

05/03/19 at 12:54AM UTC

Lifestyle & Relationships

Three Things I Learned About Grief/Loss/Pain

Deciding: • you have to decide to face your reality Acceptance: • Accept the fact that "Yes", this really happened to you Identifying: • Yes, you the person you knew as “you”, will never be the same. Following trauma, be it emotional, physical, or mental, the experience alone will cause you to be different than you were when you entered into. Like fire changes the composition of the thing it touches, so does grief, deep-seeded pain and suffering. How you come out of it depends on how you process the experience. These three things are important to moving forward successfully.

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Crystal Rhineberger

2.11k

professional rofl nevermind lets just wing it

05/08/19 at 11:36PM UTC

Thank u I lost a husband four years ago and I honestly stepped into the situation w the mindset that I was going to overcome this as a positive. I am finishing up my degree, I have become involved in community and have recovered a much better piece of property. And no i am not the same person, I identify w people who have lost someone I am much more empathetic And i listen more to those who are experiencing turmoil

Anonymous

05/03/19 at 9:15PM UTC

Denial is definitely the stage I cling onto. When my aunt passed away, I just couldn't come to grips with it. So accepting "the fact that "Yes", this really happened" to me is just hard to wrap my mind around.

KnowBetter_DoBetter_BeBetter

Wife, Mother, Aunt, Friend, Exec, Minister

05/03/19 at 10:31PM UTC

Anonymous, denial is one of the natural coping mechanisms to grief and pain so you're in good company my dear. Please know that each one of these steps is a process and neither one is a cakewalk to achieve but if we get to the first phase of deciding it will help us work through the second phase of acceptance. Start reminding yourself of all the great things you got from her. Talk to yourself if you have too. Try saying things like: "Yes she's gone, and yes I loved her dearly. No! none of this makes sense to my heart but for the season I had with her, it was beautiful. She poured love into me and I know that her love lives on inside of me. I choose to accept her peace because I know it's what she would want for me. I loved her and still love her enough to love me like she would. I'm letting go of the denial and I am embracing my memory of her." I’m praying for you as I weep for you. Be Blessed

KnowBetter_DoBetter_BeBetter

Wife, Mother, Aunt, Friend, Exec, Minister

05/04/19 at 2:06AM UTC

https://knowbetterdobetterbebetter.home.blog

BossBrandy

1.32k

05/03/19 at 8:22PM UTC

I wish someone told me earlier that you will never be the same when it comes to grieving. I absolutely think it's great to confront this vs. constantly hoping you'll go back to where you once were. It's so honest and so important. Thank you for sharing!

KnowBetter_DoBetter_BeBetter

Wife, Mother, Aunt, Friend, Exec, Minister

05/03/19 at 8:55PM UTC

BossBrandy, I know what you mean. Sometimes it hits you and you think "man that could have helped me when I was going through XY&Z". But looking at life today, there was so much you gleaned from your pain that has made you the person you are today. Don't disdain the process, no matter how slow. YOU WILL BE BETTER IN THE END if you stay the course and fight for the champion in you. Share you triumph with those God places around you who may be going through a similar situation. It's how we uplift. It's how we love. BTW~I have a separate blog without all of the advertisement where I share other topics with hurting women. The link is below should you want to take a look and like or follow me and commentary or ask questions. https://knowbetterdobetterbebetter.home.blog

FeministFirst

295

Writer | Storymaker | Content Creator | Mentor

05/03/19 at 7:44PM UTC

Your words resonated with me. It has been over 4 years since my dad passed from lung cancer, two kinds which he battled for 18 months from diagnosis to death. I characterize my life now as the before and the after. Missing and still grieving this profound loss is now part of my daily life, though has become mostly tolerable. Managing his absence is the biggest challenge, once the acceptance of him being gone (your "this really happened to me") settled in.

KnowBetter_DoBetter_BeBetter

Wife, Mother, Aunt, Friend, Exec, Minister

05/03/19 at 7:50PM UTC

Bless your heart. I'm so sorry for your loss and we lost our dad I'm 2016. It is truly a jarring event when the head is absent. They are our heroes. They are the first man we (their little girls) ever love so a life without them is unimaginable. But there is hope on the other side of your pain. It won't go away but it will certainly become more manageable. I'm praying for you.... BTW~I have a separate blog now without all of the advertisement where I share other topics with hurting women. The link is below should you want to take a look and like or follow me. https://knowbetterdobetterbebetter.home.blog