Where to start? 10 years, 4 months and 27 days ago I had my last drink. After getting sober I decided AA was most certainly not for me, and neither was, well, any form of group therapy or "rules" (12 steps) While I agree that this helps people I am also of the mindset that people are different and what works for some, does not for others. Anyway, I get a suggestion that I join one of these online groups, for sober atheists on fb. I must admit that at first, having some people around was helpful and I joined in whole heartedly. About 12 months in I was asked to be a virtual sponsor and quickly found myself listening to people's problems whenever they felt like unloading. I decided maybe I was good at this and should take a course in counselling. My name quickly spread amongst the sober community until a lady from another group for agoraphobics got in touch (panic disorder was a huge reason for my alcoholism) and enquired about my speaking on their page. I accepted and decided to then study for a degree in Psychology hopefully working with addicts. By now I had a few people private messaging me just for chats. My name again travelled, this time to a forum for women who had been through trauma, again, I got a few pms asking for sessions. I am now in my final year at uni and have 27 patients who I give an hour each a week.
I have not made a single penny from any of them. In fact I'm making no money at all. But this isn't the biggest problem I face right now. Right now I am tired. I am tired of listening. I am emotionally spent. I have heard the worst things that humans do to each other and it came to a head after a message I received yesterday. Let's call her L. She wrote to me asking if she had PTSD because her husband didn't celebrate her birthday properly. After a particular horrendous week I snapped. I failed to take her feelings into account and practically dismissed her as childish. I cannot keep going like this. I have had to remove myself from all forums because I'm inundated with requests for help or to be a sounding board. I want to carry on helping, but feel that if I do at the rate I am going its going to have an effect on my own emotional wellbeing. Ever felt alone? I feel alone.
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I've become completely uninterested in my job
Bit of a long one so bear with me. I've worked for this organisation for 14 years and the whole time this place has been infamous for workplace bullying; in 2014 it was ranked top in the sector for it. Despite many staff feeding back about it over the years, absolutely nothing has changed aside from a marked increase in what's called Wellbeing Washing; lots of posters and corporate slogans about respect and kindness. However senior management still continue to employ and promote people with demonstrable track records in constructive dismissal, bullying and abuse. It's reached a point now where you have two camps; one camp who come here, are appalled by people's conduct and immediately leave, and the other (my camp) who have just become kind of numb to it all (thanks, Sertraline).
The problem is I work in a part of the country where roles paying what I'm on are incredibly thin on the ground and it'll be at least a couple of years before I could conceivably work elsewhere for less money (I have family caring responsibilities so relocation is off the table at the moment).
We recently restructured and I've been put into a role that pays more than I've ever made before and it's a new role which is (or should be) quite exciting as it means I can kind of make of it what I want. However after 14 years of endless abuse, politics and toxicity I just don't mentally have the drive to care. I have no loyalty to this place any more, I take no pride in the work I do because this is a place that rewards politicians and not hard work.
I need to work out a way I can muster up the energy and motivation for a couple of years to do this job and then I can leave and never, ever come back. How do you regain your mojo after 14 years of endless abuse and being made to feel meaningless? It might be a new job but I still report up to the same scumbags who've made this place hell for so many good people.
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I was recently fired from my job.
I received a request to interview via Zoom with a company I had applied to in March. The interview was quick (20 minutes) and although it went smoothly I wasn’t sure what my chances were. They have since requested an in-person 2nd interview and I’m not sure what to say about no longer being employed. Advice?
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A growth opportunity weird negotiation
im working for a startup in the US from Spain, Since I live here in Spain I have to register as an autonomours worker to pay for my own taxes which are a lot.
here in Spain companies pay a 25-30% on top of gross salary that goes to taxes and allow benefits like medical coverage, maternity leave etc.
Since my company doesn’t have a presence here i registered as an autonomous and I paid ALL my taxes but I work like a full time employee, there are companies that can help handling international contracts and I presented this option to the company
I work for they told me they could only paid the handling fee ($600) but I would have to cover from my gross salary the taxes supposes to be paid by the employer plus the normal employee deductions, I proposed all
of the above in my current position. When they said they could pay the handling fee but move me to a new position with more responsabilities, managing people which I have been doing already.
They never provided me with a calculation of my net payment in both situation (local contract vs Autonomous worker) I had to calculate everything on my own and I realized it wasn’t worth to have the local contract so I ask them to give me the fee as an increased in my new position and I will keep managing my taxes.
[To offer some context I wanted a normal employee contract cause as an Autonomous worker I have to pay accountats fill taxes every 3 months is for sure and added stress]
in the end they say no and just offered to give a $200 increase and they said that its because my salary is almost equal to my boss’s he is from Argentina and negotiated an extremely low salary for a directors position and of course he is a man.
I feel really bad and even though I want the title of my new position for my resume I don’t want them to announce it company wide cause it was a really bad deal for me, and I don’t want to fake excitement or anythint cause that mostly benefit from them.
what do you think?
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Returning from maternity leave and sales commission
I live in Ireland and have just returned to work after 9 month’s maternity leave which is standard here. I am a sales operations manager working for a sales VP and 25% of my salary is based on sales commission and what the global team make. It is now the 4th quarter in my company’s fiscal year which is the most lucrative and the team are on track to do the best quarter yet. Instead of assigning me a prorated quota for Q4, he told me he would pay out 100% and cap me at that. So while I appreciate that I’ll be paid 100%, I don’t have an opportunity to exceed that. Fair or not?
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Interior office tips needed.
I just moved into a new office and for the first time ever I'm in a completely interior space with no windows anywhere in sight. I've added plants and grow-lights and overall I'm pretty pleased with the space (and the location is awesome in every other way).
I'm having trouble tracking time and it's disconcerting to walk outside with no clue what the weather is doing. I've been looking for a nice clock that shows the weather from a wifi connection to a weather app or website, but everything I'm finding involves use of sensors. Obviously, I can't place sensors around my workplace, and I'm deep enough inside that they may well not work even if I could figure out where to place one.
Any other ideas or recommendations to bring the outside inside, so to speak?
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