how to resign gracefully

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Anonymous

11/24/20 at 3:17PM UTC

Career

how to resign gracefully

I have been with the same employer for all of my career, spanning over a decade. At the beginning of the pandemic I was laid off because I had kids at home out of school and could not come to the office. I worked remotely before the pandemic. Because the company would not offer remote work to others, I was told that I was required to be at the office. I have been asked to come back for short periods of time (and work remotely) to get small amounts of work done, that I am the only person able to do. Basically this time away has been eye opening. I've been able to sit with what I have accomplished, and what I want to do in the future. Trying my best to let go of any feelings of hurt or anger, and let myself move on with dignity. This will sound crass - my current job situation feels like a booty call. I'm looking for a husband. How do I leave with grace? Do I have to give a two week notice? Does the resignation need to be in writing? Other than printing my contacts from Outlook from company phone, what else should I do?

15 Comments

Anonymous

11/24/20 at 3:36PM UTC

I would highly recommend not burning any bridges. With the uncertainty that we are all facing you never know if you may have to return to this company down the road. Give the two weeks or more if you would like. Offer to train the replacement and thank them for the time and experience. It will go a long way when future prospects are calling for references also.

Trish Fries

11/24/20 at 4:23PM UTC

I would suggest taking it slow, especially because all of your recent experience is with this one employer. Work on your resume and think about any information you might need to collect from your current position before giving any hint of resignation. (quantifiable workloads, writing samples, etc) Once you are certain you've gathered everything you might need for your new job search, then you could talk with your supervisor and let him/her know you are planning to make a break. You could agree on the time frame and help them transition. Like the anonymous comment above, I think you want to be as helpful as possible so that you have a solid reference from your last position. Would you want to stay if they allowed you to work remotely? It sounds like they are having a hard time without you there, maybe they would be willing to make a change - now is the right time. Best of luck in your new adventures and professional growth!

Malissa

614

Controller in the Agricultural Industry.

11/24/20 at 4:24PM UTC

Give the notice in person verbally to your boss first. Something along the lines of the last ten years have been great but it's time for something new for me. Then follow it up with an email making sure you include your expected end date. If you are feeling generous include something about staying on part time to train a replacement if necessary. If you are feeling not so generous say something about being able to come back as a consultant for a rate that is 2-3 times your current hourly rate. If you are not feeling generous just wish them the best and move on.

MinaKeppel

The “Human” in the Human Resources Department

11/24/20 at 4:33PM UTC

Looks like you have already made up you mind to leave. If you have, my advise would be to go out gracefully. First update your resume and starting sending it out, use you Pay time off to interview and when you have accepted a new position, then give your two weeks notice in writing.

Savannah C Stanley

Global Legal Software Consultant

11/24/20 at 5:43PM UTC

This is such a hard position to be in...I would personally always err on the side of caution and never leave a position until I have secured another at a different company (with a signed contract/offer letter and start date). I would also do what you can (BEFORE you have the two weeks notice conversation with your boss) to sort through all of your conversations, documents, supplies, and contacts. If you have made friends at work, make sure you still have their personal emails and cell phone numbers before you leave. I've seen companies cut people the same day they are given notice and immediately removed and blocked from emails and online messaging platforms (i.e., Slack, Teams, etc.). Basically, make sure ALL your ducks are lined up before you break the news to your boss, because you really never know how they will respond. It's also helpful to take a queue from those that have left the company before you...how did upper management respond? Were they accommodating and understanding and supportive? Or were they cold and fast to act? That will likely give you some indication on how they will treat you. As for timing...two weeks is what you hear as standard, but most positions that are not entry-level require about a month (if not more depending on seniority) to fully transition without leaving your firm in a bind. I'd evaluate what projects you are currently working on, what deadlines are coming up, and what type of relationship you want to ensure you continue to foster with your company to come up with an appropriate timeline. Like the previous commenters said, you really never want to burn any bridges if you can help it. This is your professional network, whether you like it or not, and it will follow you throughout your career so it's important to keep relationships positive even while you are on your way out. I hope this helps! Good luck!

1 Reply

BeaBoss979975

107

11/25/20 at 5:52AM UTC

Cue. Not Queue. The latter is a line of people.

Cara Houser

1.74k

Be Audacious - carahouser.com

11/24/20 at 5:45PM UTC

Interesting. This could be the beginning of a successful consulting career for you. You say they've asked you back for short periods to complete work no one else can, and are happy for you to do so remotely on your terms. Perhaps this work is also valuable to others. One idea is to establish yourself as consultant and offer these services to them in that capacity (and at an appropriately high fee). The hourly rate for consultants is typically 2-3 times their hourly rate as an employee since they have to cover their own taxes, insurance, overhead, etc. But it is often worth it to companies to engage people in this way since it is highly flexible and the scope of work can be very targeted. This arrangement can benefit both sides. I'm less clear on the idea of you resigning. Haven't they already laid you off and only offered limited temporary engagements since? Since it sounds like you don't have another offer lined and ready to go, think about ways to make this situation work for you. Many successful entrepreneurs start with their last employer as their first client - this could be an excellent path if you can shape it into a mutually beneficial situation.

Heather Scofield

159

Gets things DONE.

11/24/20 at 5:56PM UTC

You leave the same way you would any FULL-TIME, in-person position. Giving proper written notice, always staying on the high ground and saying only kind things about the people, the company and the work. (If they call you again in the future hoping you will address some task they need done, it's up to you to decide if you want to do it. And if so, you should re-negotiate the terms of such an arrangement as if it was a brand new thing since you no longer work there and any previous salary or productivity expectations no longer apply.)

Jeralyn Kabigting

Recruiter & Life Coach

11/24/20 at 11:55PM UTC

Giving a two-week notice is always recommended. However, if you live in an at-will employment state, it is not necessary to give a full two weeks notice. Depending on what industry you're in, some companies don't even allow candidates who resign to stay the full two weeks. With that being said, it is better to have something in line for you in terms of another job or consulting opportunity! And as already mentioned by others, a great deal of companies have come to the realization that remote work can be achieved by successful employees. So, don't settle for a booty call. Find that ideal husband of a career!

Julie S.

I'm an engineer doing environmental compliance.

11/25/20 at 12:21AM UTC

Completely agree with Cara above! Take these skills and market them to a consulting firm - or start your own. It sounds like you're not actually employed by this company anymore, but are being called into short term projects. So, next time they call you - you'll be in a position to say here are my consulting rates.

Anonymous

11/25/20 at 1:52AM UTC

Lots of good advice above. Giving two weeks notice would be best. Written notice is usually part of the process even if you notify your manager verbally first. I’m not sure what line of work you’re in, but be careful about bringing contacts with you. Make sure you are following your company’s policies about this because it can be considered stealing business, which definitely would not be exiting gracefully!

Anonymous

11/26/20 at 11:10AM UTC

My last two bosses were great. When my last one resigned I was disappointed. I had moved x country to work for him. I had expected to work several more years with him. His temporary replacement was a gaslighter and couldn't even compare with my old boss. I was left with the decision to move ahead or retire. I was professional and worked with him but gave my notice. I think it's always best not to burn bridges.

봄벚꽃

11/27/20 at 1AM UTC

Resignation is one or the hardest decisions in our life since we are talking about our career path. I am sorry that you got laid off because I know it's very important maintain your job during pandemic times especially if you are a mother. You are so strong and please continue to be strong. Just a piece if advice, if you are going to apply to another company kindly assure that you have your new contract and proof that you were hired also with the starting date. Right then make your Resignation Letter addressing your Intermediate Supervisor. Just put down that you are also willing to talk personally about your reasons. Do not be afraid to take steps but also, slowly and calmly, set aside your anger and disappointments because at the end of the day you will be thankful that you stayed calm and patience to your current company even though you were hurt a lot of times. Keep it going! I know you can do it! I a rooting for you.

Gina Rae Foster

Educator, Thinker, Facilitator, and Visionary

11/27/20 at 3:08PM UTC

While I agree with 99% of the advice already given (so good to know we're a community of shared values!), I'd like to add that I consistently advise my employees that how they leave a position matters and will affect them for the rest of their lives, whether it's a small, temporary gig or a full-time job with benefits. Remembering that we're part of the infrastructure of a company can also be helpful: it's not just about what we want for ourselves but also how our leaving will affect our team and our team leaders. Giving at least two weeks' notice is nearly always appropriate and helps everyone negotiate the transition more gracefully and with better goodwill. More than a month, unless there's a large project to complete that depends on you, is excessive. Letting your supervisor/employer know face-to-face (or Zoom-to-face) is important if you've built up a relationship over time, and following up with the formal letter that states your last day of work, your tentative plans for your next steps (this doesn't have to be specific), and your gratitude for what you've learned and gained through the job: all this helps you leave on a positive note. Personally, I'm wary of making a quick transition from employer-employee to employer-independent contract relations. There's something about the transition, particularly in the first six weeks after departure, that can get sticky as circumstances change and as initial estimates of time and effort (plus overhead) need reviewing. Good luck! It sounds as though you are already making these moves in ways authentic to you and your vision.

Steph Routh

Coalition builder for social change

11/28/20 at 1:52AM UTC

Lot of good advice here. +1 to Cara above. It sounds as though your current organization isn't paying you regular hours and has already laid you off (whether that's still the case is unclear here), so you're not losing a stable income by shifting the relationship to a contractual one. You also have a unique value proposition to them given your understanding of their staff's needs. My last W-2 relationship was also my first 1099 relationship, and we have nothing but love for one another. Contracting is a solid way to develop a network and references, which will help you on your way to your LTR (long term relationship). Good luck! Oh, and don't wait to copy over your contacts from Outlook. Do that now and often. :)