Finding Ones Self

Question

Hello I am a young girl in my early 20's trying to navigate life, find my passion, discover who I am and essentially reparent myself all at the same time. I want to know how I can find myself so I can be more happy and move along to the bigger tackles in life like finding what career I'd want and how to get there.  I didn't go to college out of high school, instead I decided to join the workforce and get a waitressing job. After a being a server for some years I came to the conclusion that this wasn't for me and I strongly disliked what all the work entailed. I do know I want to make a living by doing something that matters and makes me happy however I feel like I don't know myself well enough to even know what I love or who I am let alone figure out where to start with my career. I know I am a creative person and I know need a job to support myself but I want to do something that is meaningful, I don't want to serve people dinner and pray they leave a big enough tip so that I can pay my bills. I am a big sister who gives a lot of guidance and good advice to my younger sister and right now im wishing I had a big sister to help me out. Thanks for listening!

Patrice Stevens · Answer

Hello,  I recommend that you join a temp agency and explore some jobs through temporary assignments while you are getting paid.  You can also volunteer at various places to get a sense of what they are like.  This should give you come experience and let you explore a variety of options without committing to something until you know you want to pursue it.  Hope this helps.

Dawn W · Answer

You are in a great position even though it may not feel like it. You are young and bright and ambitious. You picked a path that's not right but instead of just continuing like a sleepwalker you want to shake things up. If you were my little sis I would tell you 1) get a job. You don't need to know your destiny right now but you do need to eat. So find A job not THE job. 2) Set aside time every day to reflect on what your next step should be. Read books about it, journal, make a dream board thing-y, meditate. But be disciplined about it. Trying to figure out your whole life is overwhelming. Spending an hour a day thinking/learning will help you move toward your goal in small steps. 3) Talk to smart people. Relatives, friends, old teachers. People you think have that wisdom, even if they aren't super successful or have made mistakes or worked a crappy waitress job with you. Wisdom comes in a lot of containers! Ask these people their advice. Then, and here's the hard part, take it. I'd say good luck but I don't think you need it!

Pearl Wong · Answer

you are burning daylight. wasting time.

don't focus on finding a career or job that makes you 'happy', or something that is 'meaningful'.

focus on analysing your skill-set, your strengths, your weaknesses.

after that, look at jobs or industries that are innovative, pay well and provide you with the best return on your investment.

whilst you are in your 20's, you are in a prime position to lay the foundation for the next 5, 10, 15, 20 years.

don't waste time.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with Dawn W. I would only add to start looking at ways you can train in some sort of discipline that you could get passionate about. This doesn't have to be a college degree, but could include a trade school, especially if you're interested in creative arts. Have you considered graphic design or things like that?

You can also reach out to or connect with people that are in careers you might want to explore to see how they got where they are. There are tons of resources at your disposal. Don't be afraid to use them.

Beth Scott · Answer

Your post made me long for my 20s; that time when you've got most of life ahead of you. I don't believe that college is right for everyone. That said, I believe that community college is an excellent way to dabble in areas that interest you and try to find a career path . I agree that what you're passionate about may not be what you're good at (I love baseball but I'm not very good at it) so there may not be a way to integrate your passion and money-making opportunities. What are you good at? What are your strengths? Consider going to your local community college and talk to a career counselor. There are many aptitude tests that can help guide you.

Wishing you well!

Linda · Answer

You can do whatever you want to do.  Try new things. Open doors you never know what will bring you joy. 
Have you thought about working from home and creating an income by helping others?
I’ve been working from home since 2011 with the Wellness Company. It’s a great way to create an income. 
I’m happy to share the information with you. 
Here’s a link to some information. 
www.melaleuca.com/LJStrutz

All the best
Linda

Chloe Nguyen · Answer

Re: 'I feel like I don't know myself well enough to even know what I love or who I am let alone figure out where to start with my career' and 'I want to do something that is meaningful' -- I totally hear you. This sounds like me when I was younger! Outside of making sure you have a roof over your head and food to eat, I say try anything and everything. You can look at anything that might even remotely interest you. If you were to go to a library, what aisle would you go to first? If you were able to meet with anyone living or dead, who would it be and what would you ask that person? If you watch/stream TV, what shows do you watch, and are there characters you like to watch because of their job (NOT that a Hollywood portrayal should be considered close to what the real job is, but it's just to think about). And then go from there: talk to people in those positions, about how they started out (even if it's a stranger on LinkedIn), subreddits, bios, etc to give you an idea of how to get in. Maybe even take a look at these job postings here and see if any interest you.

You may also choose to get a job now that doesn't fulfill you but pays the bills. You still have time to yourself outside of those hours to explore your interests through trial and error. (like watching Youtube videos on a subject and putting your own spin on it). Or you might volunteer to explore what life is like on the inside, like at an animal shelter or a food bank or a women's clinic (maybe more post-covid).

Also, don't pressure yourself to think that the career field you go into now is supposed to be what you will do for the rest of your life. The odds are that your career will take you down a windy path and that's totally okay.

Heide Framil · Answer

I especially admire those who started out young in their lives like you. You have so much in your hands right now. When I started working, it's not the job that I wanted but which I needed to help my family. But that didn't stop me from pursuing my passion. I found my motivation to work harder when I had my daughter. I continued to do self-reading, self-study related to it. I talked to people with the same dream. I made an excel for the goals I have and closely monitored it. I'm still keeping that excel until now, journaling everything in there. Believe me, it's only now that I'm starting to realize my dream, and I'm nearing my 50's. And Fairy God Boss gave me that opportunity. You can do it, too. Just stay focused and determined. Your perseverance will surely pay off.

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