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Confronting a hoarder
I have a dear friend who has become an official hoarder. I haven't been inside her house for a couple of years - she's always come over to my house. I happened to stop in for a quick hello, walked inside to get my dog a bowl of water and I was shocked to see how bad her hoarding situation has gotten. I'm so heartbroken! I don't know how to address this, and want so much to help her. Any ideas on how I can help my dear friend? She's divorced, has a grown son who lives in CA and is a brilliant attorney.
Kelley Shields, Career Happiness CoachWork shouldn't be a 4-letter word.
98
06/04/20 at 4:20PM UTC
This is a really hard situation, and my deepest empathy for your friend and for you for wanting to help her. I think my first questions to you might be: Does she want help? Does she know and acknowledge she's a hoarder? Does she think it's a problem? As a friend, as hard as it is, probably the most important thing you can do is to lead with love and support for her as a person, and accept that she may not want help or want to change the the situation. Whether or not she is open to being helped, just supporting her, unconditionally being her friend, and listening to her to will probably go a long way. Realistically, for her to deal with that problem will probably take her working with a good psychologist or therapist, and all you can really do is really be her friend, be there for her, see if she is open to help and offer that suggestion if she is. Sending you lots of support!
ROSALIE DAYPolicy (MPP) + upskilled data & communications
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06/02/20 at 7:33PM UTC
Consider an intervention and treatment. Once it manifests, it's very difficult and like any addiction, it has a downward spiral for relationships.
Balanced347972
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05/27/20 at 7:48PM UTC
Hoarding is about feeling a loss of control in life. Maybe talk to her about where she feels out of control and see if there is anything she can do to focus on getting a better handle on emotional things.
Material things won't make up for other areas completely, but they help and that is probably why she is hoarding. Forcing her to get rid of things will exacerbate the issues because then she will only be more out of control.
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.