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Single employee no spouse or kids during COVID
Many of my colleagues have children and they are getting benefits such as working from home or not being required come to work at the building. My coworker in the same program who is usually required to come to work in person everyday is constantly being made exceptions because of children related issues. She works from home often versus I am still required to come in everyday, when we are already understaffed. I feel almost penalized because I do not have kids? Before mama bears come in with negative comments, I would ask for you to actively read this without judgement and please provide a solution.
Anonymous
10/30/20 at 4:30PM UTC
I’m sure it’s frustrating and I think if you were talking non-covid it would make sense. Unfortunately, during covid working from home because your kids are doing remote school is literally the WORST. I have had the perspective first of work from home for many years while kids were in school, then from March-August work from home with a 4 and 8 year old who didn’t want to do virtual school and needed refereeing all day, and finally now paying 20k per kid to get them into private school for the PRIVILEGE of going into an office a few days a week and working without all the added home responsibilities.
I can say with certainty that 1) we are all suffering during this time in some way, and 2) working in an office is a greater benefit than trying to work from home while parenting and teaching.
That said you wanted a solution, I suggest asking for a long term schedule that is flexible because clearly people can work remotely and that would be a great reward for all your hard work and dedication to your current company helping them through this time of crisis.
Anonymous
11/10/20 at 12:13AM UTC
Yes I have heard some horror stories and I apologize for the extra stress you are experiencing. Schools asking from parents during the pandemic and it's going to be very difficult to transition back to school for teachers and parents as well. I was a substitute teacher before so I know its difficult to teach children these days, 30 at a time, and really helping to raise 3 children in my family, diapers and all. In my house 3 of my siblings are doing online schooling. I work with a vulnerable and non compliant population so I believe for my situation, I would adore the privilege of working from home. I do not get extra compensation for this as well and seeing many colleagues do what they want and go wherever they want to go because no one is micromanaging them seems like the life. That being said, yes I agree we are all suffering from the pandemic, but being treated differently at work and being made exceptions constantly due to a choice I can't control does not devalue my experience.
Anonymous
10/26/20 at 8:32PM UTC (Edited)
I would encourage you to take a step back and consider whether you may prefer to seek opportunities at companies that have more flexible work environments. If your company’s policies are making you feel less valued than others, it’s a good time to consider other opportunities. It’s a completely valid feeling that you are having and it sounds like your company isn’t considering the personal toll it’s policies are taking on you and others.
Anonymous
10/27/20 at 10:49PM UTC
Thank you I will be considering other opportunities and thank you for validating my feelings
Lauren Mae Kester
29
10/23/20 at 11:33AM UTC
I would be frustrated as well. I agree with what many people have said above - get clear on what you want and create a plan to ask a manager for it. The way we work is changing - for good - and as a single person with no kids myself, I'm just not comfortable going into an office these days. I'm extremely grateful to WFH, and I believe that with the right plan, you will be able to get what you need as well. It sounds like your manager has been unfriendly and hard to talk to - is there anyone above her you can speak with? From reading your comments it sounds a lot like she's more concerned with being 'right' and showing her power, than being a true leader. Have you listened to the Brene Brown podcast on Spotify? Her recent one with Joe Biden goes into the types of leaders - worth a listen!
Anonymous
10/27/20 at 10:48PM UTC
I will look into the podcast thank you! Yes you are right unfortunately about my manager. My manager actually involved 2 higher ups and ambushed me into a zoom meeting to talk about working from home. When I talked to my manager about WFH, I was giving good reasons as to how I could WFH. I also explained to her about how there has not been another staff hired that we need. The meeting was me, my manager, and the 2 higher ups while I was working from home for a short time because of being tested for COVID. The next step I believe would be to go to HR. I am definitely looking into transferring departments because it seems like many positions are working from home except for a few positions which I happen to fall into... even though 90 percent of my work can easily be done from home. I tried to propose a flexed work schedule to come in certain days and it was denied. My manager told me to do a proposal and present it to her about how I can work from home. I feel like it is a power trip... I'm not sure if I should make the proposal because I feel like my manager will just say no.
Anonymous
10/21/20 at 2:24PM UTC
Are you able to speak with your PCP and possibly get some kind of note that allows you to WFH for health reasons? That can include anxiety, if this is making your mental health worse. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your PCP, but if it's something you're thinking about a lot, and it's causing undue stress, they may ask that you be provided the option for remote for health reasons. They don't have to specify, but if your office is allowing remote for childcare, I have to imagine they'd do that for health?
Anonymous
10/22/20 at 8:44PM UTC
I can talk to my PCP about this thank you I will. My manager has told me because of the nature of my position, that I need to show up to work... yet 90 percent of my tasks I can literally do from home.. and if a client does not have a phone... our organization provides one. My manager did not like that I had solutions to all of her excuses as to why I could not work from home. My manager lastly asked how me working from home would help my 4 other coworkers... Yet my coworker who has kids is frequently making us more understaffed at work and is essentially doing what I was denied. We get tested for COVID and for at least 3 or 4 times I have worked from home for a couple days at a time... I don't like it because she is out every other week... even more sometimes...
Elizabeth Marie Scientist and M.B.A. Candidate
189
10/20/20 at 11:04PM UTC
I feel this so much! Yes! Yes! Yes!!! Just because we are single and childless is no excuse. They are requiring the same of two coworkers under me in the same situation, and I’ve had to push push push to work from home whenever I can because I’m still recovering after being hospitalized. It felt great to go back to work initially but I’m having a hard time keeping up and they just don’t care.
Anonymous
10/22/20 at 8:36PM UTC
Yes I tried to push to work from home and my boss told me No. Yet my coworker is essentially working from home 2-3 times a week because of issues. Oh yes having less people at work definitely does this. Management expects us to be 100 percent, more work for the same pay? I don't think so. I don't do her work because she frequently is out. There is a very fine line between being a "team player" and getting taken advantage of.
Deb StricklandDigital Marketing | Analytics & Tech Nomad
181
10/20/20 at 11:04PM UTC
I too would be annoyed. I know WFH with kids and other distractions is rough, but what exactly do you need to be physically in the office for? It's no different than allowing parents to leave early to pick up their kids but you can't. AND both of you would still finish your projects on time but just at home.
I've WFH for many years (pre-COVID) and never had this problem with employers basing their work policy on your children status. It absolutely builds resentment.
I'd push for a real reason and ask for 1-2 days/week to prove you don't need a babysitter. These discrepancies are always about management control and fear, but that work doesn't get done.
Anonymous
10/22/20 at 9:05PM UTC
I agree thank you for your input.
Robin HardmanEmployee comms and "great workplace" expert
55
10/21/20 at 1:30PM UTC
Agreed, Deb. In fact, I've done a lot of work in workplace flexibility and anyone in this field will tell you that--long before COVID--employers have always been encouraged to make WFH decisions based on the needs of the business, not the employee's reasons for requesting it. There are lots of good business reasons for letting employees work from home full-time or part-time that have nothing to do with the employees' personal situations; in this case, Anonymous, the very fact that you feel you have been unfairly treated (as it sounds like you have been!) is bound to have an effect on your loyalty and engagement.
Anonymous
10/22/20 at 9:11PM UTC
Oh yes it has a big effect on my loyalty, also it does not help for these exceptions to constantly be made. Look I can empathize about childcare issues, someone being the exception all the time is not ok. I really feel undervalued and injustice at this point... I'm looking to transfer anyways.
Anonymous
10/19/20 at 10:22PM UTC (Edited)
Hi Anon, I feel your pain as someone who also doesn't have children. With COVID, I and more local employees have had to take on the burden of working in office part time as well while other remote employees who have moved away due to new transitions like raising a family, have been excused from it. My strategy for this has been finding a way to share the load with other teammates. I don't know what kind of role you have at your company but if the work can be distributed, I would advocate to your supervisor the following:
1. What kind of work should be done in office and what can be done remote. Finding out the work that can be remote may help give you and other in-office colleagues more flexibility. It may also come up that some of those transformed remote work opportunities can be be better distributed to everyone on the team.
2. Who on the team is responsible for being in-office and why. It's possible leadership hasn't had a chance to think all of this through and set up a plan pre-COVID. Bringing this up will show good initiative and also demonstrate this is an issue employees care about.
3. What other priorities outside of work may be as equally demanding as family and child care. Do you own a car or have a pet? Or even friends who you feel have had extra hardships lately that you're supporting through the pandemic? These are all good reasons to show that you need breaks too and to take care of your mental health with personal sick days.
I hope this helps and best of luck to you.
Anonymous
10/19/20 at 10:24PM UTC
Thank you I really appreciate the solidarity. I agree with this process.
Anonymous
10/24/20 at 12:49AM UTC (Edited)
I'm glad you found this helpful. I will also add I didn't take into account if you have a small team, that is already stretched thin. In which case, it would be good to make the case that extra help might need to be hired. These days working in the office takes more time than it used to to complete everyday tasks that was normally shared by the whole team. One example is if you and a few people are in the office, who is in charge of cleaning and maintaining the office? That is an extra burden on you guys as well.
Caroline Platt
621
10/19/20 at 10:03PM UTC
This is a tough situation and time for everyone. I always try to envision the long term “it all evens out in the long run” sense of the universe. Is there a possibility you could volunteer to take on extra projects because you do (hopefully) empathize with others? Esp if you could avoid commuting 1-2 days a week, you could free up time to take something off another colleague’s plate. If you can come at it as an opportunity for you to grow & take in more responsibilities, it may in the end turn out great for you. (Because if you do end up having a child, someone will probably have to take over for you for 12 weeks at least.) I hope that helps you.
Misty CusickAttorney in Spokane, WA
13
10/19/20 at 9:56PM UTC
I feel that it is good to ask yourself: why do you feel penalized? What "perks" are you missing out on? Make a list of those items and figure out if any of them are worth talking to management about.
I believe there is a bigger issue here. It isn't just that a parent is getting to work from home (trust me, working from home with a child is extremely distracting and hard to balance). I believe what is really going on is that the entire country is beginning to see that the traditional office space is not as critical as it once was due to increased technology. Perhaps in your office, it is critical to be in office so you are starting to feel you are bearing more of the work load. You need to figure out what the deeper issues are (office culture (telework availability) vs equal distribution of work) and go to your management with proposed solutions to the issues.
Anonymous
10/22/20 at 9:15PM UTC
Yea I feel penalized because I constantly need to pick up the slack when someone is out working from home. The perks I am missing out on are my health of not constantly bein exposed to a vulnerable population who are more likely to contract COVID. I have set up boundaries but when management is constantly treating people unfairly due to factors they cannot control, such as not having kids, it is bound to make people upset who are there everyday present for the job.
Anonymous
10/19/20 at 9PM UTC
Maybe you could pre-arrange with your manager to work remotely 1-2 days a week.
Anonymous
11/10/20 at 12:16AM UTC
Thank you I tried this and due to the nature of my position, apparently my team lead can leave into the field whenever they want to and the other 3-4 staff in our team must be present at all times. This doesn't count the fact that the coworker that calls out frequently leaves us even more short staffed often.
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