Abusive HR manager - or not?

Question

Our head of HR (!) derailed a meeting today to shout at our team that she was ready to fire all of us, and that she was getting pressure from above not to.   We were struck dumb.   Is this appropriate conduct from the head of HR or is something badly wrong here?  Ugh, losing perspective during Covid.....

Jessica Virtuoso, MBA, SHRM-CP · Answer

I agree with Aly, we are people too and sometimes we lose our sh*t. Maybe not quite in the super abusive way you described above, but I have 100% cried at work after a stressful situation. I recommend having a conversation with this person directly and compassionately. Say that their reaction seemed stark and harsh, and you were slightly insulted by it, but want to give them the benefit of the doubt of asking if THEY are ok. Coming from this place of caring about what they are going through may spark enough shame in how they reacted that you'll get some background information about the core issue, while also using it as an opportunity to address how harmful it is to the team. Acknowledge that you understand that it's a stressful time, but it is for everyone. Likewise acknowledge if there WAS a mistake the team made that may have sparked the rebuke, you understand the frustration, but that behavior only paves the road for the team to feel on edge and unsafe, which will continue to exacerbate any quality of work issues.

Aly Brine · Answer

To answer your question, just going off the details you've provided, that doesn't sound appropriate for anyone,...let alone HR.

Perspective shift though: HR people are people too. As a previous HR generalist, who also had a bit of a hot mess boss, times are a little crazy right now for everyone. HR has been asked to handle a lot during these times. Hiring, firing, layoffs, furloughs, policy change for working from home, benefit changes (it's open enrollment time on top of it all!). I'm not saying this is an excuse, but just another way to consider the situation.

If it didn't directly effect your position and it hasn't happened before, I'd recommend giving the HR Leader a little grace and compassion on this one. If it continues to be a theme, then you may want to start considering some other options.

Abusive HR manager - or not?

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