© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
Nepotism or networking?
My cousin works for a large company and a while back I mentioned I was having trouble getting interviews because of the pandemic. He reached out to the CEO of a smaller company and basically arranged an interview.
Almost right after the interview I received an offer, with barely any background checks. I haven't told my cousin and I'm now getting farther in the interview process at other places, but I would really like to work for this company.
What are the consequences if I accept it? I've been unemployed for almost six months now, but it feels wrong to have gotten an offer this way.
Allix Stewart
Human Rights Graduate Student & Resume Developer
193
08/02/20 at 6:52PM UTC
I agree with others here that this does not count as nepotism. 100% networking and oftentimes now it is who you know rather than how well you can online job search - since many positions aren't widely posted anymore. If this is with a different company, I would not worry that this is unethical. Sounds to me like your cousin had a connection and you showed up well in the interview!
Anonymous
07/27/20 at 5:32PM UTC (Edited)
Nepotism occurs when someone with power or influence favors relatives or friends by getting them jobs or preferential treatment.
From the way you describe the situation, it isn’t clear whether your cousin has power or influence with the CEO to whom he recommended you. Does your cousin hold a position of power within his company, and is this company a subsidiary of, or otherwise controlled by, your cousin’s company? Does your cousin personally own a controlling interest in this other company? Does your cousin hold the mortgage on the CEO’s home? Or hold his gambling debts? In these types of circumstances, you may be experiencing nepotism. If you’re being offered a position for which you are not qualified, you have reason to suspect you are experiencing nepotism, even if you can’t identify the specific reason for your cousin’s influence over the CEO.
Being referred by someone the CEO respects or admires, but who holds no other direct influence, definitely falls into the networking category. The ease of your interview may simply reflect that the CEO trusts your cousin’s business judgment, and is happy for the referral.
If you've ever watched the show Psych, you may remember in the final season that a woman got a detective position through nepotism... she was forced on her new boss, the chief of police, by the mayor. At first, the new boss was really upset about the situation, but her work soon proved that she was perfect for the position and the boss' attitude did a 180. He was happy she was there. Ultimately, nepotism vs networking isn't the issue. The issue is what you make of your opportunity.
If you are well qualified for the position you’re being offered, and you want the job, take it. In that circumstance, I personally don’t think it matters whether you got the job through nepotism or networking. You’re qualified. You’re going to add value to your new company. Even if your cousin helped you get the job, you’re contributions will determine your future with the company.
Anonymous for a day
449
07/26/20 at 11:32PM UTC
It's not wrong. It's called networking and it's a great way to find a job. Companies like to hire candidates who have a current employee who can vouch for them. Nepotism would be if you were the CEO's kid and got hired with no qualifications for the job.
Anonymous
07/26/20 at 10:59PM UTC
I'm in HR and have been involved in countless hiring decisions. This is purely a referral within your cousin's network. As another respondent said, most jobs are filled this way. Congrats on making it work for you! Many referrals result in interviews merely as favors, but rarely do companies make offers for the same reason. Your cousin got your foot in the door and most likely sang your praises, but you earned that offer yourself! If you want the job, take it!
Crystal Cummings
117
07/26/20 at 6:15PM UTC (Edited)
It's simple, your cousin may get you in the door, but your own merit will determine if you get to stay. So show them your awesome!
Vanessa CorreaBranding + Marketing in the DC Metro area
72
07/24/20 at 7:28PM UTC
I think this is the difference between us and men and I'm so glad Fairy God Boss exists so we can converse with each other. Us womxn tend to doubt ourselves and consider ethics; research, surveys, and numbers show that men don't.
Anonymous
07/24/20 at 3:06PM UTC
Congratulations! It’s more of an inside hire. Honestly do you think a man would claim nepotism? No. He’d say it was through his excellent reputation he was hired through an inside track.
LORI-ANN BURLINGAMEProject Coordinator in Ohio
842
07/26/20 at 1:32PM UTC (Edited)
That's exactly what a man would do. More deals are made on a golf course than in a board room. That's why a lot of women on the fast-track take up golfing.
Kelly McColeman
36
11/19/20 at 5:52PM UTC
The new thing is mid life crisis $10,000 road bikes or mountain bikes for male senior leaders
Kaixin_guo
22
07/24/20 at 2:44PM UTC
I think the key point to you was how easy it was: it's like our minds can't believe that the things which we've been struggling with for so long, can actually be done relatively quickly with help. But from a different (i.e. CEO's) perspective, it's just a matter of getting in front of the right person and boom! We have a hire, people.
Also, I think that the fact that there weren't huge amounts of background checks was a bit of a red herring that may have produced a bit of anxiety: that could also be the fact that it's a small firm and things can go so much more quickly because there's far less red tape and the owner just does what they want!!
Either way: Congrats!!! You rocked the interview, you need to do something nice for your cousin, and just go in there all guns blazing! IF something better from your other interviews doesn't come along, of course. Don't feel beholden.
Anonymous
07/24/20 at 2:37PM UTC
Please take the position. Your network worked for you to have the opportunity to find the position. Congratulations!
CarrieContingent Labor/Vendor Management & Resumes
99
07/24/20 at 2:15PM UTC
If it is a job that you would want to do, take it! There is nothing wrong with using your network that you have (family or otherwise) to get a job that you feel you would enjoy and be a good fit for.
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