179
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
Toxic Manager
Micromanaging creates stress. I have learned over the years, empowering your employees to be part of the business helps them grow and thrive.
Brandyce GordonCorporate Event Planner
58
03/13/20 at 3:11PM UTC
It is incredible what a good manager can do for morale and drive. My first job out of college was in the field I wanted, but one of my supervisors was awful to me and made me feel like my career path was something I didn't want to go down anymore. I gained 40+ pounds, I had my doctor put me on anxiety medication for the first time in my life, and I stopped working out and hanging out with friends. I ended up taking a job doing something completely different when I was eventfully fired because I was so scared I was not good at what I was doing. But all that did was make me sad, anxious, and dread work. I have since found a job in the field I like and know now that it was the manager, not the job that I was running away from.
All that is to say, a manager not only impacts that work that is completed but also the mental and physical well being of the person doing the work. Showing up at work every day scared and anxious that it would be my last or that I would get unfairly reprimanded for even the littlest of things, really took a toll on my well being.
Working for someone who treats you bad is not worth the toll it will take on your life, no matter how great the job is. I know getting out of the situation is hard when you are counting on the money. But I also know how much happier I am in all aspects of my life working for a boss who truly cares. If you are in a bad situation and looking for a job, I suggest asking questions about the culture in the new job and really watching the interviewer's response, especially if they will not be your direct supervisor. Their face will say a lot more than their words.
Mandi T. Worked globally in the public & private sectors.
179
03/08/20 at 12:16PM UTC
Thanks.
Anonymous
03/05/20 at 6:26PM UTC
I have been trying to get out from my micromanaging supervisor for over a year. This has been so frustrating, not my first one I've had. I do not and will not manage my staff in this manner. I am ready to walk out and it's turning me into a person i don't care for. Trying to stay positive!
Jillian PostBuilding better communication strategies
1.3k
03/08/20 at 12:24PM UTC
As others have mentioned, not taking it personally and trying to focus on your own positivity are awesome suggestions. But some of the really poorly trained middle (and upper) managers out there are so bad at their job, it’s just not worth it. Leaving is very disruptive though, especially for some who aren’t part of a two income household.
adeane18Exec Asst
16
03/05/20 at 5:41PM UTC
I had a toxic manager and she was reported to HR by other team members. She had to get coaching for 6 months. I did move on so she is no longer my manager.
Mandi T. Worked globally in the public & private sectors.
179
03/08/20 at 12:16PM UTC
Congratulations.
Anonymous
03/05/20 at 3:56PM UTC
Deciding what to do about toxicity is hard for me because I don't want to be seen as the problem in the situation. After long consideration I've found that it is best to document and report.
Mandi T. Worked globally in the public & private sectors.
179
03/08/20 at 12:15PM UTC
Not everyone can report. Especially, with the HR manager being the Accountant and Office Manager.
Julie Marmon
11
03/08/20 at 2:11PM UTC
That is so true. With departments shrinking in many organizations, we find ourselves performing multiple roles.
Susana Pablo
285
03/05/20 at 3:08PM UTC
You're absolutely right! Mindful leadership matters for workplace wellness. People need room to learn and grow.
As I reflect, I realize I've had more emotionally intelligent and flexible managers than not. It got to the point that when I encountered toxic
management situations, it was so stressful and spiritually draining; I reported problems, requested a transfer and/or left.
Lesson Learned: Know what conditions you need to flourish and refuse to compromise. Life is too short to be miserable at work.
Our health is our wealth and we must not let anyone steal our joy!
Mandi T. Worked globally in the public & private sectors.
179
03/08/20 at 12:14PM UTC
Lesson learned is so true!
I said I wanted to ‘retire’ from a business network connected with my ex-husband. Instead I wanted to work in an industry that improved people’s lives vs. drain their bank accounts.
Jillian PostBuilding better communication strategies
1.3k
03/05/20 at 1:55PM UTC
Micromanagement seems to be rampant across industries, despite some shifts named and attempted by progressive organizations. I had it happen to me and it was poison - led to my resignation. It’s bad enough when there is a higher up that can help mediate but in my position, my supervisor had accountability to no one (or so she acted). She was the head (only) minister in a small congregation and I was the Director of Education. She literally thought she was the wise consultant ... as she forgot things she already told me or missed a meeting and then argued that it was my oversight. Unfortunately, there were other mitigating factors as well, like unresolved trauma. I became her private punching bag and no one knew. I just had to leave.
It’s funny. After you learn this dynamic first hand and live through it a couple of times, it becomes very easy to recognize and then you just have to decide what to do.
Mandi T. Worked globally in the public & private sectors.
179
03/08/20 at 12:11PM UTC
I try to see what message the other person is sending me. Over the years, I have been more receptive to new ideas. Micromanager might fear change? I learn to realize it is not about me. It is about the other person’s path.
Anonymous
03/05/20 at 1:10PM UTC
It is like this popped up to ease my soul- I currently have a manager that is a horrible micro manager-I am not the only one who feels this way..not sure how to best address it or just learn how to adjust and deal with it.
Mandi T. Worked globally in the public & private sectors.
179
03/08/20 at 12:07PM UTC
Get to know the manager to better understand where they might be coming from. Do not take it personal. Focus on what you can control, for example the quality of your work and relationships with other coworkers.
Susana Pablo
285
03/08/20 at 6:09PM UTC
It's at one's discretion to take initiative. I believe in safety first. We have to hold people accountable because some situations are toxic and systems must change.
Susana Pablo
285
03/05/20 at 3:14PM UTC
Have you checked out your employee handbook?
Make sure to document your experiences and if available reach out to your company's Employee Assistance Program.
Support is always available and it can help to talk to someone and weigh your options.
You deserve to work in safe environment with someone supportive that you can produce quality work with and for. The company we keep matters to our professional and personal well-being.
Kimberly McIT Engineering Manager, DoD
613
03/05/20 at 1:27PM UTC
same here! only he's aggressive and toxic to boot. So it's easier to know what to do. I reported him to our management. Now I'm waiting to see if anything gets done, or if I need to go higher.
Susana Pablo
285
03/05/20 at 3:16PM UTC
Way to be assertive! I hope the issue with him gets resolved so you and others don't have to deal with such a stressful situation. Documenting everything is critical nowadays.
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.