© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
Is favoritism for a niece or nephew a "thing"?
I have two nieces from one brother and two nephews from another. The nieces are responsive, engaging and we email/text regularly. The nephews couldn't care less about staying in touch. Recently, my brother accused me of favoritism b/c I didn't send bday cards and/or gifts to his sons. I honestly forgot the dates, but if the boys don't care, should I? Clearly, I'm not a parent, so any/all advice is welcomed.
ShellyB
Passionate about equality for all at work!
607
02/05/20 at 4AM UTC
Ugh- can only commiserate. I just try to give same amount of money to each "around" their birthdays, but it is ALL about the siblings (and best friend) to show that I care and remember that they matter-- thus, their kids (who don't care) matter. Green speaks to EVERYONE! LOL
Anonymous
02/05/20 at 2:50PM UTC
totally - loading up on equal Valentines for next week! :)
k Persson
212
02/06/20 at 2:33PM UTC
a car to everyone! everyone gets a car !
Katie Henderson Ladyboss752675I am an expert in all things visual.
757
02/13/20 at 8:49PM UTC
love it!
jylewis77QA Auditor for Mortgage/Home Equity products.
82
02/05/20 at 12:59AM UTC
Yes, it's a thing, but in my experience the kids usually don't care anywhere near as much as their parents. My advice is to set a birthday reminder for the less engaged children on the off chance that they feel neglected, but mostly to make your brother feel better.
In my family the boys tend not to communicate like the girls do and it takes a little extra effort to develop relationships with them. On the other hand a little goes a long way. I have young male cousins that I never imagined I made any impact on tell me I'm one of their favorite cousins because I don't try too hard or talk to them like children.
k Persson
212
02/05/20 at 1:05PM UTC
nepotism favour relatives in jobs or education, less about favour one relative over the other, guess they are attempting to argue a case of sexism.
So i was kind of put off by the usage of nepotism in this context...
overly it seems to seeking confrontation based on something minor.
Solution semd all siblings the same type of birthday greeting card.
Anonymous
02/05/20 at 2:54PM UTC
I didn't mention nepotism, and these are kids, not employees. Though your idea of sending the same type of greeting card is a good one, I'd get in more "trouble" for not expressing each child's individuality. It's a slippery slope for sure.
k Persson
212
02/05/20 at 3:03PM UTC
well it was clearly mentioned in the initial post, not something i made up;)
Anonymous
02/05/20 at 3:46AM UTC
well said and good advice - thank u!
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